Friday, January 30, 2009

ngeh ngeh

seperti kata Paan di Gtalk hari ini,
p/s: ini ditujukan kepada mereka yang tak faham bahasa lidah dan bahasa badan bahawa saya tak berminat. Dah ada girlfriend 4 tahun tu, pergi la kat gf kau. aku tak berminat kot. I dont like it when another girl does it to my bf so im not gonna do the same to orang lain jugak. Aku dah tak angkat phone call and tak reply msg tu tak kan la you dont get it lagi? Haihh.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The One with The Slaughtering

My parents made me go to a motivational course last weekend.
I guess thats their last attempt to fix me up since i have been totally running out of control.
Or whatever.

if theres one thing that i picked up there, itll be a story.
Of how Nabi Ibrahim(aka Abraham) was willing to slaughter his beloved son, Nabi Ismail to prove to God that he loved Him more than anything else in the world.

That was what i did.

I sacrificed my utmost prized love, something that i love beyond anything else in the world. More than my family, my friends, my life, myself, and based on the things ive done with and for him, sometimes even God.(Oh haters, please spare me this one. Im being dead honest here.)

I pretty much slaughtered him.

And im sorry my love if i hurt you. but lets hope that God decides that ive proven enough and give you back to me.

to me

Friday, January 23, 2009

she's a what?

im gonna call you a bitch,
cuz you deserve to be called one.

i was one too,
in case you havent noticed.

bitch bitch bitch.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

22 January 2009
HARI INI DALAM SEJARAH : 2 years 9 months anniversary

Broken hearted as I am, Im determined not to give up on the fight. Listen sha. Listen to what the universe is telling you. Listen. Fucking listen.

Ive lost him three times. And im not going through the heartache that left me braindead. No. Not again.

And I cant even begin to describe how shitty I feel right now.

How I wish I can go back and stop being paranoid and insecure. So I can fix my mistakes. So I can listen to the tell tale signs better.

So I can make it better.

Too bad this is not Harry Potter. Or a Doraemon comic book.
Please baby please. Just come back.

Oh. And happy anniversary. :(

from the hands of Pablo Neruda

Love, a question
has destroyed you.
I have come back to you
from thorny uncertainty.
I want you straight as
the sword or the road.
But you insist
on keeping a nook
of shadow that I do not want.
My love,
understand me,
I love all of you,
from eyes to feet, to toenails,
all the brightness, which you kept.
It is I, my love,
who knocks at your door.
It is not the ghost, it is not
the one who once stopped
at your window.
I knock down the door:
I enter your life:
I come to live in your soul:
you cannot cope with me.
You must open door to door,
you must open your eyes
so that I may search in them,
you must see how I walkwith heavy steps
along all the roads
that, blind, were waiting for me.
Do not fear,
I am yours,
I am not the passenger or the beggar,
I am the one you were waiting for,
and now I enter
your life,
no more to leave it,
love, love, love,
but to stay.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

kidney, anyone?

i feel like donating something.

an organ.

a kidney perhaps?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Herping (Not Herpes)

Thanks to the YOUTH ’09 reptile exhibition that I went to last Sunday, I met a Rakan Muda herper group who told me that they catch wild reptiles and put them into homes rather than killing them. And if we see anything that we like, we get to keep em.

Btw, for those who’s not in the know, herping is activities that is conducted in order to find reptiles and amphibians.

Since I am done mourning for the loss of my snake, I am ready to get a new one(and a free one, at that.)Heck! it would be like shopping for snakes!!

And so, this Chinese New Year, im packing my bag and joining the herping session in Hulu Langat.

Anyone wants to join me catch some pwetty pweeeettyyyy snakes?

Monday, January 12, 2009


A part of me is as clueless as a gang of bozos. And the other part seems to have the answer and solution for everything. Or perhaps those are merely excuses made in a pathetic state of denial.

I feel guilty. More guilty than I’ve ever felt in a looooong period of time. Perhaps my conscience has finally caught up with me.

I’ve screwed up way too many times. And I’ve lied about as many times in the attempt to cover my screw ups. I try to justify my mistakes but I think, I THINK, I am too transparent nowadays to be able to pull it off like I used to.

I get angry, and moody, and selfish and sometimes heartless.

Is that really all I am?

Friday, January 9, 2009

suicide mission

i want to go bungee jumping.

i want to stand on the ledge and complain about how terrified i am and jump anyways.

and i want to be so full of exhilaration that i would wanna jump again and again.

and i want to know what it feels like to commit suicide without actually doing it.


take a guess and stand a chance to win a mystery prize!!

I glanced his way, and glanced again
To look away, will cause me pain
His gorgeous afro and manly jaw
His good looks are against the law

He smiled at me and cracked a joke
He’s without a doubt, a funny bloke
very affectionate and rarely jealous
I’m truly glad I saw him first

Funny thing is, he LOVES to eat
he’ll clean his plate and munch his feet
a clown by day and rockstar by night
he’s one of a kind, my Mr. Right

Come on dolls, take a wild guess who this poem is about. Hahah.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

they say..

the last bite is always the best.

hmmm scrumptious.

on the negative note, my DELICIOUS tub of marks&spencer chocolate has all left the tub and are currently residing in my tummy.


no more choccies to look forward to.

scared much?

There are three things in Malaysia that im most afraid of.

Ever since I was a small girl with braided hair, my parents threatened me with the police whenever I attempted anything naughty.
“Fithri Natasha!! Cuba duduk diam2. Jangan lompat2 dlm kereta! Nanti polis datang tangkap nanti, dia letak dalam jail! Haa. Duduk diam2!”

Unfortunately, the threats proved to work efficiently too well.

Up til now, whenever I see the white car with the blue siren, I get all rigid and stiff. My heartbeat pumps faster than a cat humping its partner(?). Its amazing how scared I get even when im not doing anything wrong.

And its amazing how they seem to be able to smell my fear. Ask me how many times have I been stopped by police before? Hah!

And I’d say the best way to get me into an accident is to shout “POLICE” right by my ears when im driving and giving it a few seconds for the word to echo relentlessly in my eardrum. Im telling you, you’ll drive me right into the nearest longkang.


This is mostly due to the word of mouth. Ive heard so many horrible stories that the sound of their horrendously modified bike will send me running in the other direction.

Oh, and not to forget the carrot cut jeans and weird hairstyle as well as the scarf that is normally used by the pak hajis.

I don't think I need to elaborate much on this. Hahah.

So, tell me, what are the three things in Malaysia are u most scared of?