1. Archie is as queer as a three dollar bill.
2. He's the bitch while Jughead's the butch (why do you think he wears that crown hat all the time?)
3. That's why he never got around to choosing between Betty and Veronica. Not even the smoking hot Cheryl Blossom. Seriously, which straight guy would say no to Cheryl?
4. And that's why he's always doing extra chores for Mr. Weatherbee while The Bee 'helps him with his homework'.
Thank you Chasing Amy for this wonderful revelation. :)