Stop giving me a grief about it! Nah la, here's the other version.

1. You marry a woman expecting she won’t change – and she does.

2. What do you do when a man steals your wife? The best revenge is to let him keep her.

3. Why haven’t woman been put on the moon ? – because it doesn’t need cleaning yet.

4. Never let your woman's mind wander – they’ll overthink unnecessary things and give you grief about it.

5. Go for the younger woman. You might as well, they shave off your money anyway.

6. Women are all the same - they just have different shapes and sizes, so that you can tell them apart.

7. With women, love is entirely a matter of chemistry: which is why a woman treats you like toxic waste.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking – the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Best way to get a woman to do something is to suggest that she is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is deaf and mute as well.

11. If you want a woman who is committed to you, make sure you’re a multi-millionaire.

12. Scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they gave 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that all 100 men started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.

13. If she asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell her Playboy.

14. A woman doesn’t care what her man gets up to when he’s away from her – as long as he doesn’t have fun.

15. Sadly, all women are created equal.