*sad smile*

it has been a long time since ive been sure of the decisions that i make.

the confidence and assurance of whats right and whats not is a privilege that im no longer entitled to. its sad, really.

im lost without you.

im lost lost lost.

and now i see other people being sure of what they picked. and i envy those confidence.

why did you go off to them instead? is she any better than i am? does he have something better to offer?

i ponder.
and i yearn.
and i look longingly.

when will something like you, so tough so stable so sure and so complete, ever walk through my doors again.

people think its a joke. people think it doesnt mean shit to me.
you think im numb without emotion? think again.
your loss means too much for me that i cannot even afford a proper reaction.

and if you think you might be able to interpret this post, let me save you some time. ur wrong.
dead wrong.