stuck in reverse

it is easy when its done traditionally.
well, maybe not easy per se, but definitely easier in comparison.
to what, you might ask?

well, id have to say its easier than doing it the supposed modern way.
halt!
it shouldnt even be considered modern.
no no no.

id have to say its so much more complicated when its done in reverse.

you no longer know what to say, what to do and how to act.
and theres no telling what to expect either.

so what do i do now?
cuz i cant take it back.
no, no, i cant.

id like to get the chance to do it the conventional way.
but its a little too late now, the realization.

we started at the finish line, and now i dont know where to head for the race.
do i go towards the starting line, or do i stay put.
and if i stay put, what is there for me to do?
wait til everyone finishes the race? but there shouldnt be anyone else in the race but me.
or at least thats how id like it to be.

im not making any sense, not even to myself.
so, as i always warn you when im not making any sense, dont even try to understand this post.
hahah.

unless, of course, you are my colleagues or housemates whom i complain about this very problem each and every day, without fail. (i love u guys!)