Mister.

I have tried writing this down hundreds of time, 

but each attempt had miserably failed.

It was as if my feelings have completely left me

as if my words simply refused to leave the tip of my pen.

Each time i begin to pen my feelings down, 

something always holds a piece of my soul back,

forbidding me from pouring my emotions onto paper.

GuiltAffectionFearDenialAttraction.

I cant be sure which of these are holding me back. 

I am deeply sorry, but the internal turmoil is clouding my judgments. 

I am fairly confused myself.

For the umpteenth time, i shall try this again.

He was a boy.

But not just any boy.

He was a boy, whom, next to, made me feel like a girl. Like a lady.

He was nice.

A downright pleasing gentleman should the circumstance require him to be.

A decent guy though he was, every single inch of me screams out at the sight of him, calling his name, yearning for its namesake.

He was nothing like the perfect heroes in novels.

Much less like Prince Charming in fairytales.

He was much much better.

A boy that i am devastatedly infatuated with.

He caresses with the softest touch;

kisses with the softest lips;

and smiles as if he was hiding the most devious (but delicious!) secret.

Grins that taunt me with its mysteriousness that i shall never unravel.

Unpredictable but incredibly passionate.

My casa for comfort.

My spot for solace.