i can read you like a book

you are extremely transparent

you think you are being broody and unpredictable

but i can see right through you

as if,

you were made out of glass

Relationship Revelation #24 (ni nombor main petik je ni)

I rasa (I ni memang suka rasa macam macam kan?), for a relationship to work, you dont need someone perfect. I have once read :

Love isnt about finding a perfect person. It is seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.

Though, just like cliche cliche yang lain, the saying above were obviously exaggerated. Heck! Perfect tu, by definition, is SEMPURNA tahu tak? There's no such thing as perfect (except when it comes to God which is a different story. Itu kena tunggu blogpost lain la pulak)

I think it's just human kalau the person you are with sometimes do things that annoy you a little, or has traits that you probably wouldnt tolerate if it was in someone else. But IT IS OKAY! Like i said, it's only human.

Yang penting, despite all that, they still complement you and YOUR annoying traits (apa kau ingat dia je ada flaw, kau takde?) and somehow it just works. 

It might not be a fairytale. Maybe, not even macam drama melayu pun. Tapi who cares? You cant expect your story to turn out exactly like a plot from a romance novel.

Just make it work! and then you can write your own book with your own customized storyline!

Be grateful je lah if you already have someone who:

• will laugh at your jokes (both funny and not) hjtg
• comforts you even when you are (unattractively) crying and sobbing sampai mata lebam keluar hingus semua
• listens when you're raging and pretend for a moment that they hate the guts of the person who caused you grief

Cant always expect people to change in order to suit you. Sebab you know that you yourself pun susah nak change to become somebody's fantasy partner.

What you have is probably already great. Just have to have faith in it je.

:)

of chocolates and sexual demureness (banality, more like it)

When bored and not talking about super important issues (this is just my drama queen way of saying normal issues), Dzul and I always come up with stupid (though, entirely logical) theories.

A few days back, Dzul (being the observant person he sometimes is) noted that chocolates arent usually adorned with colourful and kiddy designs. They are usually more subtle, and well, kinda elegant.

Look at these :

Now, tell me, do any of these look like kids were the target demographic of their marketing plan? Macam tak la kan? (well, unless if it was for kids with 6-going-on-25 issues)

So, we figured, with those kind of wrappings, they were probably not hoping for sweaty jocks to buy these chocolates too. So obviously it's for women!

I mean, we all know that chocolate is the perfect aphrodisiac! (i think it mustve been a dude who first invented chocolate, with a dirty intention to manipulate women's sexual vulnerability! Tapi serious malas nak pergi Google and check. Korang je lah check kan eh?) 

Check out all those chocolate adverts on TV. It always depicts a cute girl licking the centre filling of said chocolate, or at least eating them in the most sensual way there is.

(nampak sangat i cannot be in a chocolate advert because i kalau makan chocolate, memang telan je terus, takde maknanya nak makan sexy sexy)

Anyway, here's solid proof!

Check out Bournville's website and click on How to Savour. Ahhh i bet all you lazy people wouldnt even bother with the link kan? Fine laaah, i type balik la for korang.

Step 1 : Hold the chocolate and delicately peel the top half of the wrapper. One slow circle after another. After you've tempted your eyes long enough, allow them to set their sight on the fine dark chocolate. 

Step 2 : Bring the chocolate next to your ear and snap off a single cube. Let its sharp sound resonate inside you, long enough to give you that tingling sensation. Long enough for your eyes to shut knowingly.

Step 3 : Smell the chocolate before you eat it. Its distinct aroma is a tantalizing invitation to the tongue. It also prepares you for tasting the chocolate. This will enhance your perception of the flavour. 

Step 4 : Place the chocolate on your tongue and allow it to melt by pressing it on the roof of your mouth. The cocoa butter will spread evenly and an evolution of flavours will build up on your palate. 

Step 5 : As the chocolate melts in your mouth completely, close your eyes and concentrate on the flavours that are enveloping your tongue. Give in to the feeling and be guided to new experiences, to the world of Cadbury Bournville, fine dark chocolate.

Now. We all know that's not really chocolate they were describing. Those were not! Anyway, it's obvious that chocolate and sex goes hand-in-hand.

But dont you wonder why European chicks are sexually liberal as compared to Malaysian women? Because.... this was what we grew up eating!

Tak sexy langsung okay!

one last night with Iylia Elena

I hope I wont forget this tomorrow!

*voice gets squeaky*

I know! I'm gonna write this down!

*voice gets squeakier*

Ooooh! I shall tweet about this!

*voice goes down 2 notches*

I dont think I can fit all these in a single tweet. This'll have to go in my blog!

And, so, here it is.

(I eventually forgot what it was that i feared i would )

i could but i dont wanna

ahh.
i could be all poetic and ambiguous in telling you what i feel.
i could use big words and metaphors in every sentence.

but i choose not to.
because i want to be obvious.
and i want the world to know how smitten i am.

more importantly,
i want YOU to know, that,
"My atoms and chemicals could've been made anywhere in the universe, but they were made here, near you. Near yours."

Random #1 : My Favourite Song

It took me so long to start the 30 days project,
not because i was suddenly swamped with ideas,
but the title for the first day (which is my favourite song) proves to be a huge setback.

For those of you who has hung out with me before,
you would know just how fickle i am.
I am that girl who goes 'id like one McChicken please.'

*5 seconds later*

'eh kejap kejap kejap. change that to Double Cheeseburger lah!'

*yet another 5 seconds*

'eh wait wait. can u cancel the Double Cheeseburger and make it a Big Mac instead?'

If you're the unfortunate person who's queuing behind me, or worse still the person who's taking my orders, dont think your death stares escaped my notice. I perasan okay, saja je buat muka bajet innocent macam tak buat salah.

Yes, i am fickle.
And i felt pressured nak kena pick just one song to list as my favourite so i did what i do best.
I stalled.
:)

To be honest, i dont have any preference to the songs i listen to.
Semua pun ikut mood.

Like, say, if i'm driving long-distance, i'd listen to Muse,Ratatat, Phoenix, Foals, Feist or Nadasurf.
If i'm angry, I'd listen to System of a Down or The Mars Volta.
If i'm in a breakup mode, i'd listen to Dygta, Coldplay, Damien Rice, Broken Social Scene or songs with heartbreaking lyrics.
If i'm chilling, i'd opt for Beatles, Vampire Weekend, Metric, The New Pornographers, Jack Johnson, Lily Allen or Regina Spektor.

Sometimes i listen to The Donnas and The Pierces when i'm in a girl-power mode. Or Weezer, Phantom Planet, OK Go, Garbage when i want to reminisce on my Foundation days. Or Lapsap, Klaxons or Agrikulture when i want to goyang goyang.
See?

How the hell am i supposed to break it down to one song?

Hehh. Fine just so tak lari tajuk. My favourite song right at this moment is Woo-Hoo by the 5678s. That's the same song as the famous whistling in Kill Bill Vol. 1 btw.

:)

Ok dah la dah penat type lah. Bye bye.

hai perempuan halimunan!

hai lah perempuan,
dengan sepenuh perasaan aku attempt untuk cuba jadi memahami
dan dengan nada suara paling lembut yang aku bisa muster,
aku mahu tanya kamu ini,

mengapa yang tak pasti juga yang kamu mahu?
adakah kamu ditipu oleh ayat cinta manis bersalut gula,
atau dipaksa keadaan yang sentiasa tak menyebelahi kamu,
atau kamu merely in denial?

apa kamu tak sedar yang kamu bukan sekadar inflict pain atas diri sendiri?
tempias tempias luka sampai ke hati aku, hai perempuan.
sakit perit derita akan termaktub ke jiwa jiwa lain juga, hai perempuan.

susah sangat ke,
kalau kali ini,
aku minta jasa baik kamu,
beri aku peluang untuk betul betul bahagia?

sebab sumpah aku penat jalan atas duri yang sama!

Revelation #77

being understanding sure is noble, but sometimes it drains the energy out of you.
no?
especially when there are about a million things out there that escapes your comprehension and lacks stability.

i lack stability.
that says a lot about my mental sturdiness, kan?
keeping that fact in mind, what chance do i have at being understanding?

maybe it's not stability that i lack, maybe it's faith.
maybe it's sanity.
fuck if i know.

p/s : will you people stop spamming my chatbox with cliched bloghopping invitations? if you really do have to do it, then at least make an effort to be original. pfft.

P. Ramlee bears quite a huge resemblance to Charlie Chaplin in this, dontcha think?

:)

Oh, i miss those days when i used to set up my sleepover kit in my parent's bedroom and cuddle under the covers eating Koko Krunch while watching Pendekar Bujang Lapuk (takpun tengok Chaplin's Modern Time).

5 is the best age, if you ask me.

I mean, seriously, i was so easily entertained and awed back then.

Pfft. Who needs Astro? Watching huge greasy guys in spandex wrestle each other pun boleh terbeliak mata aku tengok sampai pukul 1-2 pagi.

Spongebob? Naaah, back then pagi tengok Peter Pan, petang sikit will be time for Beauty & The Beast, then malam-ish i'll watch Cinderella. I love Disney's cartoon. Evergreen siot. 

Repeat la satu cartoon sampai 15 kali sehari pun takpe, it's all good. 

Weh. Rindu nya. 

:'(

Paul The Octopus, the football pundit.

Hello!

My name is Paul.

As you can see, i am an octopus!

In the other world, before i was hatched, I made an acquaintance with a delightful (albeit peculiar) man called Nostradamus and this gentleman taught me (above all things) how to predict the result of football games.

I was bred in Germnay, and thus could only predict games played by the Germans (though i actually hatched from my egg in England).

Back in 2008, for EURO 08, i only got one prophecy wrong (this is turning to be quite a badly presented resume ey? hehe).

This year, they once again put my prediction skill to test for the FIFA World Cup. I was there stuck in my aquarium (which, to be honest, makes me feel a tad bit claustrophobic) and they will put my food in two containers that are marked with the German flag as well as the flag of the opposing team.

You know, earlier on, when i predicted the win of Germany over Argentina, plenty of Argentinian fans threatened to eat me (thank god they never actually did!). 

It was also pretty chaotic the other day when i indicated that Serbia will win over our nation. Some chose not to believe me, but at the end of the game, they had to silently succumb to the fact that they were wrong, and i was, once again, right.

Last night, i made my final prediction for this year's World Cup. To be honest, i just thought that the food in the Spain container looked more enticing.

I have no idea if we lost due to the fact that Spain's defense was spot on, or if i have unintentionally brought the morale of my countrymen down by predicting their loss. 

But hey! i didnt want to repeat my last mistake where i rooted for Germany but they were beaten by Spain, which made me look kinda stupid (though, as an octopus, you would think it's hard to appear any more stupid that i already do).

I saw last night's game so that i will be able to foresee the chances of me receiving more death threats. Looks like it's coming fast and steady now. I shall go and hide in the corner of my tank now before somebody makes a 'sambal sotong' out of me. 

Til the next prediction! (and you guys who are rooting for Netherlands and Spain can breathe in relief now as I wont be able to predict the outcome of THAT game!) 

:)

p/s : i do have a hunch that Holland will win though! ;)

Bookworm Bitch is now Bookenstein!

Due to the inappropriateness of the name and the unfortunate sexual innuendo (as well as the fact that my mom now reads my blog) i have decided to change the url of my book blog. 

It is now officially christened bookenstein.blogspot.com

Hear! Hear!

:)

i'm not homophobic, but Archie IS gay!

1. Archie is as queer as a three dollar bill.

2. He's the bitch while Jughead's the butch (why do you think he wears that crown hat all the time?)

3. That's why he never got around to choosing between Betty and Veronica. Not even the smoking hot Cheryl Blossom. Seriously, which straight guy would say no to Cheryl?

4. And that's why he's always doing extra chores for Mr. Weatherbee while The Bee 'helps him with his homework'.

Thank you Chasing Amy for this wonderful revelation. :)

(and a paedophile to add on to the insult!)

Revelation #265

Phwoar.
Pagi ni emotion bercampur-campur.
Dalam otak macam ada rojak!

Life takes you places.

And it deceives you. 

It does! It does!

It makes you think that you have changed and become wiser over the years.

But you're still the same.

The essence of you is still the same.

The sound of your common sense is more amplified, but your logic is still flawed.

Or maybe it's just me.

Pagi pagi ni time angin tiup sepoi sepoi bahasa, macam best kan kalau reminisce?

All this while, ive always told you guys stories yang gembira lompat lompat.

Hari ni, nak buka cerita lain.

Warning keras : Saya type panjang panjang ni, bukan untuk anda anda judge saya (kita bukan dalam court sekarang) tapi so that hopefully somebody will learn from my mistakes.

Warning satu lagi : Mama, tak payah baca post ni please! :D 

OK, sambung.

Dulu, saya pernah TERmarah.
Bila TERmarah,TERbuat benda benda yang parah.
in the end, sendiri yang terngadah.

I was upset with someone that i love.

And when i felt like i was no longer needed, i walked away.

Oh wait, that wasnt all i did.

I walked away and attempted to replace him.

(walaupun deep down inside dah tahu, dia irreplacable, tapi ego punya pasal, saya hantam saja)

I was mean.
Very very very mean.
Inexcusably mean.

Perasaan perasaan buruk, memang brings out the worst in you.

Looking back, it was obvious that i was going through a phase.
Tapi, semua orang pun experience these phases, it does not give anyone any right to be awful about it.
And, that was the beginning.
The beginning of my own personal modernized Zaman Jahiliah.

Listen to me.

And listen carefully.

Most of the time, things will not go our way.
It's okay.
You have to fight it, yes, but not rebel against it.
There is no such thing as inflicting pain on others to reduce your own suffering.

You know, there was a wise bald old man who once said : An eye for an eye, and soon the world will be blind.

Gandhi was right.
and i was wrong.

When i was being heartless, to be honest, it did my ego some good. But that feeling did not last very long. Life span dia memang very very short. 

Tak berbaloi langsung with the amount of dignity, respect and trust that was taken away.

Jadi lah manusia yang baik baik.
Firdaus Sapidih pernah cakap, kalau nak handle breakup dengan tenang, ingat lah memori-memori yang seronok. When you talk about them to other people, only mention the good things. Baru lah boleh senyum.

Cukup cukup lah it's over. That in itself dah cukup sedih. Tak perlu lah nak tambah lagi kesedihan dengan cerita benda benda yang buruk. Do yourself a favour. Let it go. Perasaan perasaan tak seronok ni, will only go away if you let it. Kalau sampai bila bila pun nak cling on to the negativity, hidup tak kan tenang.

Random Notes From A Mental Hospital

1. The people here are pretty amusing. (some are unbelievably annoying, yes, but mostly they are pretty amusing)

2. Ive learnt that the first rule of being in a mental hospital is you do not talk about the mental hospital.

3. Whatever you say here will be automatically discounted as you most probably have an alter ego that contradicts yourself.

4. The cutleries here are made of plastic. (you know, it's pretty hard to poke your eyeballs out with plastic. i should know, ive tried)

5. They don't put on much music here. I miss music. The most i can get here is a vibrant humming of La Vie en Rose on loop.

6. Do you know that the government is pretty rich? They actually have enough money to pay for a few dragons to guard the door to this place!

7. I know i'm not making much sense to you right now. The voices inside my head are telling me the same thing.

Summary : I am going crazy.

Mari Joanna, mari. :)

mari joanna, mari!
teman kan aku.

mari jalan berpimpin tangan di atas awan
atau, kau lebih gemar kan taman taman indah yang hijau?
semua juga bisa,
mari joanna,
mari.

mari nikmati hidangan lazat
dengan dessert buah buah anggur yang disuap oleh bidadari kayangan
mari joanna,
mari.

ahh aku sudah penat dengan warna warna kelam ini
selamat tinggal dunia pudar
aku mahu ke warped dimensi sebentar.
mari joanna?