poor baby

I have just finished watching Juno for the nth time.
And i was suddenly reminded by the unfortunate girl who was infamous for dunking her newborn in the trash can in UTP earlier this sem.
The same girl who's probably doing time as i'm writing this.
Poor soul.

I am just trying to picture how hard it mustve been for her.
She has what i assume (based on the stories flying around UTP) an unhelpful boyfriend whom she couldnt count on.
Imagine what it was like for her when she first found out.

From this point on, everything is based on my imagination. Heheh.

She probably bought one of those cheap pregnancy tests with crappy names from Farmasi Kak Salmah or Vulva Pharmacy. I dont know la kan.

And she was probably squatting on the toiletbowl,trying to pee on the pregnancy stick (which i think must be messy).

Then she would probably be sitting restlessly waiting for the indication to turn a certain colour or show lines(or possibly even hoping for a Barney's face holding two thumbs up indicating that the test is negative).

In the meantime (a few minutes probably felt like forever to her), she would curse herself for the recklessness which led to the unfortunate event. It could probably be:

a) Dammit, i shouldve used the rubber even though it was like picking a nose with gloves on.
b) They should put on the box saying that rubbers are only like, 97% accurate!!! (oh yes, quoting Ross and Joey)
c) I knew i shouldve taken the morning after pills.
d) This is all his goddamn fault. he promised he wouldnt come inside, that fucking asshole!
e) I really shouldve paid more attention during all those sex-ed talks.
f) If this stick shows a positive, im gonna burn that motherfucker's dick!

Or something along the line.

When it did (indicate that she's pregnant) she was probably too busy crying over spilt sperm to execute her plans of burning the sorry jerk who contributed his good swimmers of sperm.

Now, she told him that she was pregnant and he doesnt want to have anything to do with it. And being optimistic, she went on as if nothing was wrong and that the product was faulty. It was just a scare, she tells herself.

Until the morning sickness came.
And she started craving for frog's legs and maggots.
And suddenly her jeans dont fit anymore.
And her problematic skin is suddenly glowing and flawless.

So she went to the doctor to get it removed.
No way is she keeping it.
Gila? Nak kena buang family?

But the gynaecologist told her that she needs 1000bucks for the operation.

She waited around for another two months to get enough money and went back to the doctor.
Which then broke the news that it was too late to get an abortion. She was already into her second trimester. If she went on, she'd be putting her life on risk.

No other choice but to come clean with the parents. And they, coming from a typical Malay background, flipped out. Oh no, they didnt kick her out but they might as well have. Neither the Mom or Dad spoke to her.

So, oh yes, she was all alone.

And then she came back to UTP. Using enormous and gigantic clothes and tudung, she went around hoping that people would think that she's simply fat.

And two weeks later, the baby came without notice.

There she was, back in the toilet again, waiting and sweating and crying, contraction after contraction.

Hours later, the baby came out the way she hoped it would. Quiet and not making much noise. The floor was bloody and wet.

She looked at the baby, scared.
Now now, why isnt the little boy making any sound?
She probably sat there, paralysed and the thought of spanking the baby's bottom to get him to cry never entered her mind.
By the time she got to her senses, the baby was already gone.

Freaked out, she took the baby and threw it in the trash can.

And we all know what happened after that.

If only our society dont discriminate unmarried girls who decide to keep their baby.
Im not saying that sex before marriage isnt wrong. Thats another issue altogether.
But things happen.

it would just be so nice if society is more welcoming.
That way, we probably wouldnt see too many babies napping in dustbins.
Aduhai Malaysian.