God does not change men's condition unless they change their inner selves.

I am the kind of person who cannot handle rejection of any kind. The fear of things not going my way is then used as a cork to stop me from taking any form of action.

For example, i've had the idea to write a story for quite sometime now. I've got the characters and the plot all mapped out, but somehow, out of the fear that i am not able to construct the plot well enough or not being able to narrate the story well to the point that i'm a disappointment to my writer self, i refuse to get started.

I refuse to click on the 'New Document' button and type my thoughts away. It sounds pathetic, yes. Most of the time, i would avoid my problems, half expecting that it will sort itself out if i just leave it there long enough (which we all know is absolute crap). 

I mean, this is hardly a scene in Cinderella where a Fairy Godmother flicks her wand, chants 'Bippity Boppity Boo' and POOF! the pumpkin changes into an obscenely fabulous carriage!

Despite being aware of all that, it's not really a habit I could kick. Regardless of how many times i tell myself that it's better to simply face the inevitable and change along with the circumstance, my entire body will automatically stiffen when the mind gives out the command.

Though, if there's one thing that i learnt this week, perhaps the same shit is happening to you because you keep making the same mistakes in dealing with it. For as long as you refuse to learn from your mistakes, adapt to it and change your ways, your problems will never go away.

And if it provides any additional incentive to get you going, the relief that you get the moment you start taking control of the situation, is completely monumental!

I actually have plenty more to say but at the moment, I'm kind of distracted thinking about how my friends are doing in Egypt. And the fact that the online media restriction that our government plans to impose on us is looking frighteningly like what's happening in Egypt now is of no assurance whatsoever.

Give me a good few hours to finish reflecting. Perhaps then, i will be back to share silly stories instead of talking about life 'revelations' which might have just put a few of you guys reading to sleep already. Tee hee.

Til next time! :)

only believers go to heaven?

for the past two months or so,
i have had to take my sister to the hospital every other day for her physiotherapy appointment.
(she had a bad swimming accident, during which she almost got her finger cut into two. she's fine now if that's what you're wondering. just remember, dont wear rings when you swim! dont say i didnt warn you!)

anyway.
during one of the visits, we got to talking with this old Chinese uncle.
from talking about the Reproduction Chapter of high school Science, we somehow ended up talking about religion.

the uncle then told us about one of his encounter with a Catholic friend.
the friend preached to him about his religion and claimed "You have to embrace it because anyone other than the believers will NOT make it to heaven!"

the uncle then thought for a while and replied, "Well, in that case i dont want to go to heaven! All of my friends are from other religions."

sebab ni lah aku nak tinggal kat New York bai.

tahu tak, jadi manusia tak berduit tu sesungguhnya sangat lah tak best?
tahu tak?
mesti lah tahu kan.

bila nak beli lollipop harga 80 sen satu pun tergaru-garu kepala (yang tak gatal).
sudahnya, tabung adik jugak yang jadi mangsa.
takpa takpa.
dah kerja nanti, kena ganti balik 15 kali ganda amount yang dah dikorek keluar dalam keadaan darurat dan terpaksa.
hmph.
alasan nak sedapkan hati.

paling benci bila sedar status diri yang tak berduit merupakan punca utama tak boleh nak pergi Negara Singa untuk menghedonismakan diri di Laneway Festival hujung bulan ni.

macam perah limau nipis atas hati yang berdarah bila dah spend lebih 3 bulan mendengar lagu lagu Foals, Temper Trap, Blonde Redhead, Ladyhawke, Holy Fuck, !!! , Warpaint SAHAJA sebab konon kononnya nak get in the mood.

Sudahnya, mood dah terlebih lebih,
perginya tak jugak.

Kesian passport, kegersangan cop dari Singapura.
Haih.

Weh, ada siapa siapa baik hati nak belanja tiket Laneway? :)

Education System in Malaysia is flawed.

A pretty heavy title huh?

Pardon my lack of creativity in making up a more enticing headline, but I don't have time for flowers and rainbows. I need to type this out before my writing juice (and patience - ive been sitting on a very rigid, uncomfortable chair for the past 10 hours or so) dries up.

I've never been a big fan of politics.

But IF (that's a huge IF there), in the future, I find myself chucked into the middle of politics battle, I'd run straight to the Ministry of Education and attempt to be the last Gladiator standing.

Why?

Because i think our education system is seriously flawed.

And it's about bloody time somebody does something about it.

Take, for example, our History class. I still remember being fourteen and having a lioness for a History teacher. She used to make us read a whole chapter and write out notes summarizing said chapter.

That homework compromised the wellbeing of my wrist. I wouldve sued the teacher for exposing me to the threats of Carpal Tunnel if only ive learnt about the term back then (perhaps i wouldve heard of Carpal Tunnel if it wasnt for the restrictive education system).

I probably wouldnt have complained if writing those dates and stories and eccentric names meant that i would be a walking History textbook. But considering all that we did during those days were to copy out shortened notes from the Sasbadi reference book, i can't say that i picked up much.

Now compare it with the way Americans and Australians learn History. They'd have an open debate where students take up the cause of previous Presidents/Prime Ministers and argue back and forth on said issues. 

The way we do it in Malaysia is simply by reading (memorizing, more like) through one source of book (read : the textbook). But wey hey! All the easier to indoctrinate thoughts in the society eh? 

Effi Nazrel, better known as Obefiend has presented the matter in shorter paragraphs than i can possibly try, so READ THIS to get a better gist of what i'm trying to say.

Why can't we have an open-ended question for our History lessons? For example (aish, you people always want examples kan? Cannot take my word for what it is kan? Haha), 'During the economic downfall in 1997, the former Prime Minister, Tun Mahathir Mohamad refused to take loans from the IMF. Discuss if you agree or disagree with his action in terms of Malaysia's economic condition in less than 350 words.'

Whether the student agree or disagree, points should be given on how well-researched the essays are and the amount of solid facts based on reliable sources included in the answer.

Edited : After some points brought up by Mr. GGK, I'd like to point out that the example i headlined above is merely that - an example. By this, im trying to say that i am not encouraging Politics 101 to be taught in schools. With that said, here's another example that will encourage research : 

Explain the difference between strategies (whether it is by physical force or psychology stratagem) used by the Portuguese, Dutch, British and Japanese in their attempt to infiltrate Malacca.

That way, students will be forced to do their own research and along the way, they will probably pick up a new information or two. Over time, we will all be smarter and well-informed instead of being a blind nation that simply believes whatever they see and hear without giving it any further thought. 

In case you have not noticed, even our essays comes with a meticulously outlined complete guide that consists of the Introduction, 5 Main Points of Argument and the Conclusion. Isnt that proof enough that the system should be made obsolete? 

I still remember those chunky books with '350 Contoh Karangan Terbaik SPM' and '150 Model Essays for SPM' plastered all over its front pages. 

Dude!!

Writing an essay is supposed to be all about letting your creative juice flow! 

What's the point of having an essay-based question in the examination if the topics of the essays are the same year in year out. Plus, the answers can easily be obtained from a whole bunch of books ready to be copied to paper. Seriously, tell me, what's the point??

I remember a friend telling me that he came across a bunch of people who could barely speak decent English and yet has gotten A1 for their SPM English paper (for 1119 too!!). Turns out, back in the days of SPM, what they did was memorize essays from said books word-by-word.

Do you understand my frustration now? 

Essentially, studying is supposed to ensure that you become more knowledgeable. And i think it's safe to say that an 'A' on a scrap of paper is NOT a gauge of your intellect level. 

No wonder lah Malaysia is filled with plagiarists. 

Exam punya essay pun tiru sebiji sebiji from buku, ini kan pulak blog posts orang and other people's work. 

Haha.

back from hibernation

1. sorry for having been gone for so long. ive been happy and distracted, that's why.

2. i finally have something to be depressed about, and thus am back scribbling and typing away.

3. no, im not gonna tell you what is it that im depressed about, so that should save 5 seconds of your time that it takes to ask me the dreaded question. perhaps a lil bit later, when i'm not feeling as peaky as i am now? :)

4. 2010 has been utterly dreadful to me, and for the past 11 days, ive been living in the fantasy that 2011 will be the my Resurrection Year. It doesnt look too good now, but i'm forecasting better days to come give and take a few months. 

5. Life is uncertain and it sucks that we have to waddle through the uncertainties. But im pretty sure that the only reason we keep ending up at dead ends is that we have yet to learn from our mistake and made the best decision there is.

6. I am thinking of writing a novel. Do you guys think i should? I mean, if i were to write one, would any of you consider forking a small sum of your hard earned cash simply to read my ramblings? Eh ni honest question ni tau. I need answers so jawab laa eh if that's not too much to ask for. Hehe.

7. This is actually just a mock post to let you guys know that im virtually back from my month long hibernation. Am gonna finish the real post that has been sitting as a draft sampai dah berhabuk dah pun. Mneyh.

Later people. 

Love,
Tasha