on top of my mind

1. an average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.

i often have to lie down for hours, staring at the ceiling (entertaining wild thoughts) before i finally manage to move to Dreamland. 

i dont know if that means i'm not average, or i'm not a person.

2. in French class, i learnt :

Il est bien, mais ses amis sont bizarres !

which means : he's all right but his friends are weird. 

the lecturer said that this sentence is surprisingly useful. claims that she uses it everyday. being in Tronoh, i'm not surprised (and if you're wondering where Tronoh is, you've just proved my point heheh). Just saying.

3. lately, i keep finding myself on the brink of giving up. but each time, you pulled me away from the ledge. if it wasn't for you, i would've been able to tell you what is in the abyss by now. thank you for babysitting me.

4. I came across this video :

It's a French version of 'Hold Me Tight' by Les Baronnets. Sure, they aren't as good as The Beatles were but the song is still pretty cute.

5. as much as i try to remind myself, i keep forgetting that some things are unexplainable. these things ought to be left by itself for if you try too hard to make sense of it, before you know it, you will be carted off to a psychiatric ward. i should know, there has been too many nights in which i broke down crying simply because i was thinking too much and i couldnt make sense of the thoughts in my head.

6. do you realize that time passes by really fast when you're not doing anything? which sucks because it is when you're at your laziest and not in the mood to do anything that datelines try their hardest to smother you. and when you're taking the time to be as useful as humanly possible, that is when the weekend never seems to come around. whose idea was it again to have a 7 day week ?

Education System in Malaysia is flawed.

A pretty heavy title huh?

Pardon my lack of creativity in making up a more enticing headline, but I don't have time for flowers and rainbows. I need to type this out before my writing juice (and patience - ive been sitting on a very rigid, uncomfortable chair for the past 10 hours or so) dries up.

I've never been a big fan of politics.

But IF (that's a huge IF there), in the future, I find myself chucked into the middle of politics battle, I'd run straight to the Ministry of Education and attempt to be the last Gladiator standing.

Why?

Because i think our education system is seriously flawed.

And it's about bloody time somebody does something about it.

Take, for example, our History class. I still remember being fourteen and having a lioness for a History teacher. She used to make us read a whole chapter and write out notes summarizing said chapter.

That homework compromised the wellbeing of my wrist. I wouldve sued the teacher for exposing me to the threats of Carpal Tunnel if only ive learnt about the term back then (perhaps i wouldve heard of Carpal Tunnel if it wasnt for the restrictive education system).

I probably wouldnt have complained if writing those dates and stories and eccentric names meant that i would be a walking History textbook. But considering all that we did during those days were to copy out shortened notes from the Sasbadi reference book, i can't say that i picked up much.

Now compare it with the way Americans and Australians learn History. They'd have an open debate where students take up the cause of previous Presidents/Prime Ministers and argue back and forth on said issues. 

The way we do it in Malaysia is simply by reading (memorizing, more like) through one source of book (read : the textbook). But wey hey! All the easier to indoctrinate thoughts in the society eh? 

Effi Nazrel, better known as Obefiend has presented the matter in shorter paragraphs than i can possibly try, so READ THIS to get a better gist of what i'm trying to say.

Why can't we have an open-ended question for our History lessons? For example (aish, you people always want examples kan? Cannot take my word for what it is kan? Haha), 'During the economic downfall in 1997, the former Prime Minister, Tun Mahathir Mohamad refused to take loans from the IMF. Discuss if you agree or disagree with his action in terms of Malaysia's economic condition in less than 350 words.'

Whether the student agree or disagree, points should be given on how well-researched the essays are and the amount of solid facts based on reliable sources included in the answer.

Edited : After some points brought up by Mr. GGK, I'd like to point out that the example i headlined above is merely that - an example. By this, im trying to say that i am not encouraging Politics 101 to be taught in schools. With that said, here's another example that will encourage research : 

Explain the difference between strategies (whether it is by physical force or psychology stratagem) used by the Portuguese, Dutch, British and Japanese in their attempt to infiltrate Malacca.

That way, students will be forced to do their own research and along the way, they will probably pick up a new information or two. Over time, we will all be smarter and well-informed instead of being a blind nation that simply believes whatever they see and hear without giving it any further thought. 

In case you have not noticed, even our essays comes with a meticulously outlined complete guide that consists of the Introduction, 5 Main Points of Argument and the Conclusion. Isnt that proof enough that the system should be made obsolete? 

I still remember those chunky books with '350 Contoh Karangan Terbaik SPM' and '150 Model Essays for SPM' plastered all over its front pages. 

Dude!!

Writing an essay is supposed to be all about letting your creative juice flow! 

What's the point of having an essay-based question in the examination if the topics of the essays are the same year in year out. Plus, the answers can easily be obtained from a whole bunch of books ready to be copied to paper. Seriously, tell me, what's the point??

I remember a friend telling me that he came across a bunch of people who could barely speak decent English and yet has gotten A1 for their SPM English paper (for 1119 too!!). Turns out, back in the days of SPM, what they did was memorize essays from said books word-by-word.

Do you understand my frustration now? 

Essentially, studying is supposed to ensure that you become more knowledgeable. And i think it's safe to say that an 'A' on a scrap of paper is NOT a gauge of your intellect level. 

No wonder lah Malaysia is filled with plagiarists. 

Exam punya essay pun tiru sebiji sebiji from buku, ini kan pulak blog posts orang and other people's work. 

Haha.

jots and sanity

Notice how i never write about anything remotely academic?

It is all because writing is my escape from anything Engineering related.

Imagine this.
The world gets terrorized by something viral and fatal, say the Anthrax. And everybody has to resort to hiding underground.

Now, writing about buildings and columns and beams and tension and offshore structures and steel properties and wave characteristics ;

writing about all those will be equivalent to bringing an envelope-full of Anthrax in the underground refuge.

I know how some people love dropping their intelligent jargons into writing. I dont fall under the same category.

Writing makes me forget about Physics.

It makes me feel like everything is possible.

I seek solace in writing, from the torments of questions with answers that go on for 20 pages.

It doesnt matter if academia kills me.
Writing will revive me.

Manusia Memang Selfish

Aku nak jadi serious pagi ni.

I just finished reading Never Let Me Go (you can read my review about it here ) and somehow, something about the book reminded me of Avatar.

I guess it is easier to comprehend the behaviour of us homo-sapiens when it is presented to us from another creature's point of view. (Saya pernah baca kata kata ini : You can't find yourself inside yourself. Step outside. I'll meet you there)

Avatar was from the POV of well, an alien and this book was from the POV of clones. Yes, human clones. You know how we've always thought of clones as this human-form that is kept in like, huge test tubes and their purpose are solely to produce human organs that will enhance our biological and medical technology? (Saya sendiri pun termasuk dalam kategori jahil, sebab tak pernah terfikir ada kemungkinan that there is a realm where something other than that orthodox belief exists)

Well, the idea that Kazuo Ishiguro puts forward was that these clones were capable of thoughts and emotions but even when presented with proof of that, the society and the government ran scared and denied the possibility of the clones being anything more than mere lab apparatus.

(Apa yang saya cuba nak ketengahkan di sini bukannya tentang possibility bahawa ada kemungkinan ciptaan manusia tu adalah seperfect ciptaan Tuhan. Jangan cepat melatah! Saya sedang bicara tentang ignorance secara general ni)

When it comes to anything remotely sensitive, like politics or religion or extreme social issues, ive noticed that TOO MANY people refuse to address these issues directly. They refuse to read up on said subjects and they refuse to discuss and debate it openly. 

Why? I keep asking myself, why? Out of fear that their opinions might be open to ridicule, perhaps? Or fear that it will lead them astray to further unconventional thoughts, maybe. Instead, they would rather deny the possibility of there being anything more substantial to discuss, and they will kill the topic and move on to other lighter and less complicated subjects.

I have once touched the subject of alcohol in Islam. Of course it is prohibited, but why exactly? I've gotten so sick with all this 'sebab Allah cakap haram, haram lah!' and 'Itu kan air kencing setan, duhh' statements that are repetitive in nature. It is as if, everyone are clones (pah! the irony!) and have exactly the same thoughts when it comes to subjects such as these.

It was stated that alcohol is prohibited for health reasons. Besides, it makes you high and when you are in an ecstasy, you will not be thinking straight and thus, it will prevent you from conducting your ibadah in a sober state.

Now, let me ask you this (pardon me for repeating my own posts), if a series of experiments were to be conducted where a medical test is done on a person where the amount of alcohol consumed is carefully calculated - an amount that will not induce any form of health hazard AT ALL, will not affect the person's sanity and is not enough to cause an addiction - is it still prohibited in that sense?

This is just one example out of the many questions that i ask myself. I personally think that there is nothing wrong in asking questions. For, if you do not ask questions, how else do you expect to get answers? As long as you do not let your faith be swayed by whatever question you might pose and answers you might obtain, i believe there is nothing wrong with it. 

Satu lagi example. (harap harap tak kena rejam lepas ni). Dalam Quran, there is a surah called Al-Qiyamah. It is about Doom's Day. Thing is, the direct translation of the name of the surah is The Resurrection.

While resurrection can mean 'the act of rising from the dead', it can also mean 'the state of one who has returned to life'. All this while, everyone has always assumed that it is a literal account of what The End of The World will be like. Isnt there just a possibility that instead, it describes a journey of somebody whose life has gone through darkness and is just discovering a newfound light? 

Isn't al-Quran after all a complete book of guidelines that covers every aspects of our lives? I don't want to get into details with the whole al-Qiyamah business. It will be too lengthy. Penat korang nak baca nanti. But if you are as jobless as i am, and you've got time to spare, go read the translation and see if there's a hidden meaning behind those physical lines that you can read.

If you want to discuss and debate it with me, by all means, do so. (Sambil sambil tu, we can both generate an extra brain cell or two heheh). Drop a comment, write me an email. Apa apa pun boleh. OK, moving on.

What is wrong with asking questions? What is wrong with trying to discover the source of why such and such rules and regulations were created in the first place? You never know, if you give these questions a chance, you might just discover something new within yourself.

Sampai bila weh, kita nak run scared everytime something out of the ordinary surfaces? Kalau semua orang ada attitude macam ni, sampai sekarang kita still ingat bumi tu flat. Sampai sekarang kita still ingat matahari tu yang orbit around bumi. 

Ke kita memang spesies yang suka di-institutionalized? Ikut semua hukum hakam dan akta akta tanpa fikir panjang? 

Open up your minds, let your mind wander around. Unless if you think it's too small to be let out by itself without a leash lah, haha. In that case, you can stay under your blanket of ignorance til the day you die. :)

Science Application in Love (tak sia sia belajar kimia)

Pernah dengar ura-ura bahawa opposites attract?

Petang tadi aku bereksperimentasi

Cuba buktikan teori laknat itu

Kamu tahu apa jadi,

bila asid sulfurik ditambah dengan sodium bikarbonat?

Jadi neutral, tenang,

serasi dan tak akan meletup.

Dalam bikar aku,

Aku lihat chemicals yang sizzle sesama sendiri.

Oh, jangan mimpi mahu lihat fireworks!

(Apa, kamu ingat, ini cerita dongeng Disney?)

Fireworks, dalam makmal, adalah equivalent dengan destruction!

Makanya, hipotesis aku terbukti!

Konklusi aku?

Ya benar, opposites attract!

Jadi, tak apa kan, kalau kita tiada similarities?

:)

Letter to Myself

Dear Future Tasha,

I have been influenced by How I Met Your Mother and am now writing a letter to you Ted Mosby style.

I am writing with the purpose of reminding you that you DONT DESERVE to feel the slightest bit remorseful when your exam result comes out.

This is because :

- my insistence on procrastinating will not reflect well on you

- i am solely depending on luck for my paper tomorrow and i should let you know earlier not to let your hopes up

- Design of Steel has always been our enemy.

Let me remind you that it is now only 12 hours away from the paper, and I am too busy being a nutcase to actually revise.

So there. If you so much as mutter 'damn. i shouldve studied for this paper', memang aku sekeh kepala kau lepas tu gelak kuat kuat.

Sincerely yours,
Present Tasha

the next time you want to be bitchy, remember this

There was a wise man who moved to the city of Akbar.
No one took much notice of him, and his teachings were not taken up by the populace.
After a time, he became the object of their mockery and their ironic comments.

One day, while he was walking down the main street in Akbar,
a group of men and women began insulting him.
Instead of pretending that he had not noticed, the wise man turned to them and blessed them.

One of the man said :
Are you deaf too? We call you the foulest of names and yet you respond with sweet words!

We can each of us only offer what we have,
came the wise man's reply.

-taken from 'Like The Flowing River'

THIS is exactly why i love Paulo Coelho.

Oh, and I'm sorry for not updating this measly blog as religiously as i would have liked.
Truth is, i'm trying to compile my writings into a book.
So most of the things that i write go in there instead of here.
(An angan angan that i feel the need to accomplish for the sake of learning and discovering something new about myself.)

Bear with me.
I'll be back.
:)

(insert a string of curse words here)

cursing my heart out would probably make me feel better right about now.
tapi dah tak mampu to even string cusses properly.
cant even strings words together, much less carutan bernas.

i hate final exams.
i hate doing Civil Engineering.

i am not interested in calculating the tension in a T-bar column,
or the wave force acting on a platform.
and i doubt it that ill ever be.

i wanna write, and talk for a living.

i dont wanna stand under the sun in the middle of a construction site, wearing an ugly hardhat.
i dont wanna be shipped off to work in the middle of some godforsaken oil platform.
i dont wanna stay in an office and do physics calculation on torque and whatnot.
i dont wanna endure another minute of this.
i dont wanna go to a landfill and take the filthy leachate(which is a konon konon glamour name for air sampah btw) and analyze it to see whether its fit for disposal.

im serious.
ive had enough.
four years and a half is enough.

but apparently, i have to stay put and go through this mindless garbs.
ive got a pounding headache, a runny nose and still i have to study Design of Offshore Structures and Structural Dynamics.

ahhh baik aku get wasted and layan Lapsap. lagi bagus.

pembelajaran sedang dilakukan

ok. rasanya macam dah lama tak tulis post pasal pembelajaran saya di menara gading.
(ok. thats a lie. i dont think there ever were a single post about my subjects in here).

and macam jealous pula baca blog orang orang yang letak course code subject kat blog.
(unfortunately, i cant do the same cuz ive never been rajin enough to find out those VAB3412 thingamajig)

So today, im going to break its virginity (eh, eh).

Raya is in 5 days time.
My birthday is in *ehem ehem* time.
(hoho. ni konon konon nak cakap saya tak pancing suruh ingat. sebenarnya nak korang buat research cari pengisi ehem ehem yang tepat!)
And yet the workload is driving me nuts!

Nobody's fault.
It's all mine.
padan muka,siapa suruh tangguh.
(shuuushh. orang lain diam. saya sorang je blh padan kan muka sendiri. orang lain buat, saya sembur dengan ridsect)

I have got :
1) one assignment for Structural Dynamics
2) one assignment for Design of Offshore Structures
3) two assignments for Ocean & Coastal Engineering
4) two tests to study for
5) some Final Year Report to clean up on

all has to be handed in before the raya break. and considering im planning to balik on Thursday, that would pretty much mean i wont get to sleep this 2 days.

(siapa nak belanja White Coffee Ice, angkat tangannnn dengan penuh ikhlas!!)

sujud syukur sampai dahi lebam

This might not sound much to you strangers.
But the people close to me would know how much I'd KILL for this.
(weyy tak tipu. kalau bukan bulan puasa, serious sanggup bunuh orang)

Tapi rupa nya, tak payah bunuh siapa siapa.

Sebaaab.
Ta-daaah.



Intern dapat 4 flat!!!!!
Wooohoooo!

You have no idea how much ive:
begged
stolen
lied
pretended
acted
argued
played the sympathy card

Just to get by.
You have no idea.

p/s : saya nangis tersedu sedan sebab serious tak sangka.
pp/s : ok, sekarang boleh rai kan dengan main Zuma sambil lap air mata.

ponteng kelas itu adalah bagus

Classes will dull your mind, destroy the potential for authentic creativity.
Russell Crowe
A Beautiful Mind

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why you havent seen me around for the past three weeks.

there's no use crying over spilt milk unsaved report

As of today, my blog has turned one! Whippee! :D

Happy Birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, Happy birthday
Violent Violet Volkswagen

Baby, here's to our one year anniversary and its 370 something post babies. :)

So yeah, now you know im that geeky girl who sits in front of the pc all day and blog about life instead of going out and enjoying it. Ta-dah!

Ive been out of touch this past few weeks tho,
i wrote a 60 page report and on the day that im supposed to submit it,
my pc died on me along with the unrecovered pages.
So i've to start all over again from page one.
Here's to another few days of skipping classes and 3 hour naps. Tch.

I'd better get back to my report now.
It wont let me rest til i see the end of it.
Gahh.

P/s: was complaining to a friend that Tronoh is a desert. Blazing hot in the day, and freezing cold at night. And when asked where would i stay if given the chance and i answered bumming by the beach (read: Bora Bora or Hawaii) he called me a hypocrite. Duduk panas complain, tapi berangan nak jadi budak pulau. Pfft.

Pp/s: oh, you heard that we kicked Celtic's ass, didnt you? Next game, bring it on Portsmouth.

in the spirit of wedding bells and friends getting married

• In the kitchen, has she ever referred to the oven as 'that square thingy'?
• Does she use the phrase 'you know' more than three times per sentence?
• Does her credit card statement include a monthly payment to a plastic surgeon?
• Have you noticed her name tattoed on 3 or more local bikers?
• Have you noticed 3 or more local bikers' name tattoed on her?
• Does she regularly compare your love-making capabilities with that of her exes?
• Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
• If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word 'sex'?
• Does her resume include a two-year stint at the nearby brothel?

If you have answered yes to at least three of the statements above concerning your girlfriend, perhaps you should have another think coming before you blurt out your proposal.

inguinal hernia - i think you would wanna see this.

I came across this term on Ira's blog.

Anyways. The term inguinal hernia piqued my interest and thus leading to the part where i googled it.

Basically, in non-medic terms (to enhance the understanding of those yang fail Bio and yang nak dekat dekat dail mcm saya), inguinal hernia is basically a bulge on one or both sides of the groin. This is due to a part of the intestines that slipped out from its orbit. Heheh. Ada pahamm?

Anyways, its more common in men as opposed to women.

Getting to my point, the whole bulge thing was not what caught my attention. It was the picture i saw in wiki.


As you can see, there's a bulge on the top left part of the picture. Again, thats not my point.

Check out how smallllllll the dude's peenis is!!! Waahahahaha. Wee penis! Weenis!!! LOL.

Okay, so thats not very nice of me ( i hope that doesnt equate me to end up married to a guy with a smallie like that due to karma retribution). I swear im not a pervert, i just thought that this is effing hilarious. Hehehe.

To those who cant take a joke like a good sport, go away! Im sick. and i have the rights to entertain myself in the midst of my sickness. XD

p/s: the bulge itself is bigger than the whole thing that might be called a penis. LOL

careful what you say

I have never been that big a fan of historical facts.
If there is one thing that ive learnt from history, its that i DONT learn anything from history.

Anyway, this particular story pretty much made me eat my words.

You know Neil Armstrong? (you do not need to answer this. the question is posed out of formality je pun). When he walked on the moon, he made some statements that soon become a catchphrase for many years to come. Right before he re-entered his lander, he made a remark "Good Luck Mr Gorsky".

This seemed insignificant at the time as everyone assumed that Mr Gorsky was probably just some rival astronaut from Russia or something along the lines. However, upon checking, no Gorsky was identified in the database of either the American or the Russian's space program.

After 26 years however, a journalist managed to prive the answer from Mr. Armstrong.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball in his backyard. His friend accidentally hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbour's bedroom windows. His neighbours were the Gorskys.

As he leaned down to pick the ball up, Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky :
"Oral sex?? You want oral sex?? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

know your bedtime stories

" Alice: [after eating a mushroom] I'm tired of being only three inches
high.
[suddenly grows out of control]

Alice: Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! "

I'm not sure if the extract is familiar to you.

I dont know if you have read Alice in Wonderland and are familiar with the mushroom scene, in the first place.

But a friend of mine , got the honours of trying shrooms and this was what she said, word by word:

Honestly, i am still not interested in drugs at all. But once i took shrooms, i totally understand alice in the wonderland. haha. she was totally tripping, that is all i've gotta say.
When i was on shrooms, i felt i understood the world. and then i felt music in my mouth. and everybody was talking in haiku. and it was amazing.

All i have to say, Go Alice! *winks*

one surefire way to look smokin' hot!

use photoshop.

Im serious. The skill will come in handy pre-blind dates.

And well, you know, you can just get married virtually and everything.

My point is,

go learn how to use Photoshop.

and then, u can edit my pics.

;)

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

sometime in 2000, during the Scottish Cup,

Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC beat Celtic FC 3-1 in a hot hot hott game

The headline in the news the next day read:

Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious!

how to avoid being heartbroken

1) Instead of waiting to have your heart broken, be the heartbreaker first. The moment you see yourself falling deep, make a run for it. Run, and dont turn around.

2) As soon as the relationship ends, hook up with someone new. It doesnt matter who it is, as long as its not a sheep or a dog. Have as many one night stands as you need to get over the current heartbreaker. Its okay to end up as the asshole who fools around or the cheap hussy. Its even okay if you break a few hearts in the process of healing your own.

3) Aggravate the person who broke your heart. Get a makeover and make them drool at how hot you've become. Let them know what they're missing out on. Go on dates where you'll definitely bump into them. Watch in triumph as you see them smack their forehead with the invisible bubble on their head going 'why did i ever let him/her go?"

4) Be as mean as you can afford to be. Whenever possible, try to make their life hell. But be careful not to appear that you are obviously heartbroken. Otherwise this method will get you laughed at instead of getting you a delicious revenge.

5) Do stupid things that will ruin your life. Be a gigolo. Take dangerous chemical substances that others call drugs. Be a junkie. Get wasted every night. If possible, make sure that you contract AIDS / HIV and then try to spread it to the person who caused the heartbreak in the first place.

6) Turn gay.

7) Cry. Eat dozens of chocolates everyday. Eat to fill in the hollow void that they left in your life. Put on 74 kgs. Ta-da! Now you can expect to find an uglier partner(due to your immediate weight gain). You know what they say about uglier people being nicer. :)

p/s: yes, i was just being terribly sarcastic.

how to get a girl to like you

i feel like being a Dr. Love today.

based on past experiences(mine and other people's), i came up with a guideline for you moronic boys out there.

tee hee.

1) dont ask a girl out and then just sit there staring at her boobs. dont expect her to do all the talking. when i say that, i dont mean you should ramble on about the new underpants that you bought last Saturday. and we dont want to know your preference of underwear, be it Y-fronts, boxers or even homosexual g-strings. we want substance.

2) the above rule applies to phone conversations as well. dont waste your credit talking about the weather. we already know that it rained like a dog this morning and that it was blazing hot the day before. we want to talk to you, not the weatherman.

3) the moment we ask you whether or not we're fat, dont pause. dont think of the answer. without any hesitation, quickly answer no. we dont care if you're lying. we just want to hear what we want to hear.

4) if you have the intention to get some action at the end of the date, dont talk about it beforehand. we probably want the same thing too. but the moment you discuss it, it will automatically push us away. nothing turns us off faster than a guy who says:

i want to kiss you and do this and that to you at the end of the night. do you want to do it at my place? or if that is an inconvenience, the backseat of my car is always available.

it doesnt matter how good looking you are, the cuteness level will drop exponentially the moment you appear desperate like that. if you wanna do it, just do it. dont talk about it.

5) we know you want to impress us, but please draw a line between that and boasting(which makes you appear like an arrogant fuck). there's a reason why people say, less is more.

6) play a tad bit hard to get. i know we complain a lot about guys who fails to give us attention. but calling us every half an hour to ask what we've been up kinda screams 'i dont have a life'. not exactly attractive, boys.

7) we know you are born horny. but please try to keep it in your pants for at least a few dates. it doesnt make us feel good to have you pawing at us on the first date. makes us feel like a cheap one night stand.