how to get a girl to like you

i feel like being a Dr. Love today.

based on past experiences(mine and other people's), i came up with a guideline for you moronic boys out there.

tee hee.

1) dont ask a girl out and then just sit there staring at her boobs. dont expect her to do all the talking. when i say that, i dont mean you should ramble on about the new underpants that you bought last Saturday. and we dont want to know your preference of underwear, be it Y-fronts, boxers or even homosexual g-strings. we want substance.

2) the above rule applies to phone conversations as well. dont waste your credit talking about the weather. we already know that it rained like a dog this morning and that it was blazing hot the day before. we want to talk to you, not the weatherman.

3) the moment we ask you whether or not we're fat, dont pause. dont think of the answer. without any hesitation, quickly answer no. we dont care if you're lying. we just want to hear what we want to hear.

4) if you have the intention to get some action at the end of the date, dont talk about it beforehand. we probably want the same thing too. but the moment you discuss it, it will automatically push us away. nothing turns us off faster than a guy who says:

i want to kiss you and do this and that to you at the end of the night. do you want to do it at my place? or if that is an inconvenience, the backseat of my car is always available.

it doesnt matter how good looking you are, the cuteness level will drop exponentially the moment you appear desperate like that. if you wanna do it, just do it. dont talk about it.

5) we know you want to impress us, but please draw a line between that and boasting(which makes you appear like an arrogant fuck). there's a reason why people say, less is more.

6) play a tad bit hard to get. i know we complain a lot about guys who fails to give us attention. but calling us every half an hour to ask what we've been up kinda screams 'i dont have a life'. not exactly attractive, boys.

7) we know you are born horny. but please try to keep it in your pants for at least a few dates. it doesnt make us feel good to have you pawing at us on the first date. makes us feel like a cheap one night stand.