cut and paste : Malaysian politicians

George Washington Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. The story goes that George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe.

His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted as bravely admitting the truth: 'I can't tell a lie. Pa, you know I can't tell a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'

Now what would some of Malaysia's politician when posed the same question:

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi - 'I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.'

Najib Razak - 'I swear that I have never MET that tree.'

Hishamuddin Hussein Onn - '...but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree?'

Mahathir Mohamad - 'Apa nama cherry tree, yes, I chopped it down because I don't like the idea of Pak Lah sleeping under it.'

Chua Soi Lek - 'Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.'

VK Lingam - 'It could be me, it might have been me, but I don't think it's me.'

Anwar Ibrahim - 'I did NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA sample for you to plant on the axe handle.'

Mohd Khir Toyo - 'The new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.'

Azalina Othman - 'The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down and besides there were unauthorised signboards put up around the tree.'

Shabery Cheek - 'I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.'

S Samy Velu - 'I chopped it because Hindraf members were using it as a meeting point.'

Rais Yatim - 'You must see the bigger picture. Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain. Ali Rustam said that are against our national identity. And I needed to test my new axe. So, you see, it is a WIN-WIN situation all around.'

Karpal Singh - 'The bigfoot creature did it.'

Pandikar Amin Mulia - 'There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees......Kinabatangan duduk! Bukit Gelugor duduk!'

Khairy Jamaluddin - I did not do it, neither did the Mat Rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree?'

Lim Kit Siang - 'Cherry tree also you don't know. You are an insult to Oxford!'

Nazri Abdul Aziz - 'Racist, racist, racist! When we cut down durian trees nobody made a fuss. Now...'

Malaysian Citizens - 'Oh for heavens sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death!'

Pardon me for cut and pasting. I thought that this was too funny to be ignored. Ngehh. It seems like this has become quiet the syndrome semasa berinternship. I cant help receiving all the emails in bulks. And more often than not, i found some good really good ones.

So, here goes. Enjoy. :)

and the winner is...

There was this National Poetry Contest, and all the colleges and the universities sent a representative to enter the competition.

The final round came and it was down to two particular individuals.

The first dude was a well bred, high class snob from Harvard and his contestant was some redneck from a rundown college whose name was not even significant enough to be mentioned here.

The rule of the contest was for each finalist to compose a four line poem within one minute and the poem has to contain the word 'Timbuktu.

The high class snob went first. With confidence oozing out from him, he read:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination, Timbuktu.

The crowd cheered like you wouldnt believe. Everybody thought that the snob will win hands down. I mean, come on, there's no way the redneck will be able to beat that.

The redneck then stood up, cleared his throat and recited his poem:

Tim and me, a-huntin' went
Saw three whores in a pop-up tent
They was three, we was two
So i bucked one, and Tim bucked two!

Needless to say, the redneck won the competition. ;)

aduyai

this is like a greek tragedy.

right before my eyes.

who needs daily soap opera when you have this.

tsk.

MERDEEEK-dush kena tembak dengan komunis

cheh, ingat kan dah habis presentation, dah merdeka.
so much for the habis-presentation-tak-payah-datang-kerja myth ive heard before.
tipu betul.

kerja lagi banyak, ada la.
wtf weyy, kena kerja until 1230 midnight??

ni kalau tak dapat A ni, tak tau la.
hishh.

heheh.

p/s: saya kan yang banyak complain tuu.

homos

GREAT people talk about GREAT ideas

average people talk about average ideas

small people talk about other people

owh, so kalau awak nak continue ckp pasal saya, go on.

:)

misery loves miserable people

what is it like to be like those who find faults in everything?

mesti hidup dia tak seronok kan?

going cuckoo

someone brilliant told me,
that sometimes, in order to heal from a broken heart,
you tend to put up a Tembok Besar China to push all the pain away.

true, by doing that, you become that much stronger.
but you also become that much numb, that much heartless.

and yes, you manage to push the heartbreaker away,
but you also push everyone else around you.

i never used to be this angry.
i was never this sarcastic.
oh, and believe me, kerek-ness wasnt my thing(oh well, maybe on the odd occasion that i have to come up with a comeback to Noin's statements).

good thing someone managed to penetrate the wall.
;)

oooh, excuse the pun.

weird dude at the office

this past few months, i have had to walk around and take the reading for noise, temperature and light in the shopfloor.

so obviously, during these rounds, i was equipped with some sort of bulky gadget.

each time i went round to take the reading, there is always this one dude, whom, upon seeing me whill shout :
tolong adoi tolong tolong. perut saya sakit. doktor tolong saya.

he always has this comical look on his face.
and the way he shouted out his request, i cant help but be reminded of one my colleagues, Kuchai. hehe. Kuchai jangan marah. XD

after almost 13 times being confronted with his weird, and i hope what meant to be a joke of a statement, i still dont know whether or not to find it funny.

it's like, sound level meter aku ni, ada rupa macam high blood pressure punya machine ke?
and he keeps saying that he has stomachache. my face looks like a toilet bowl ke???

abai kan

sometimes you're so determined to fix your life.
sometimes when you're so adamant to work things out,
you dont realize who you end up hurting.

your life is not just yours for you to be so selfish with,
it's exactly like suicide.
you might think that you have every right to end it, not even considering the people in your life that will be affected by it.
just like suicide.
you think you can change your life and your ways as you like.
but you really shouldnt unless uve mapped out who'll be affected and by what degree.

this is just nonsense btw.
haha

p/s: to the people who has been affected by the change, im sorry. i truly am. ill find some way to make it up to u.

careful what you say

I have never been that big a fan of historical facts.
If there is one thing that ive learnt from history, its that i DONT learn anything from history.

Anyway, this particular story pretty much made me eat my words.

You know Neil Armstrong? (you do not need to answer this. the question is posed out of formality je pun). When he walked on the moon, he made some statements that soon become a catchphrase for many years to come. Right before he re-entered his lander, he made a remark "Good Luck Mr Gorsky".

This seemed insignificant at the time as everyone assumed that Mr Gorsky was probably just some rival astronaut from Russia or something along the lines. However, upon checking, no Gorsky was identified in the database of either the American or the Russian's space program.

After 26 years however, a journalist managed to prive the answer from Mr. Armstrong.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball in his backyard. His friend accidentally hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbour's bedroom windows. His neighbours were the Gorskys.

As he leaned down to pick the ball up, Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky :
"Oral sex?? You want oral sex?? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

the other day at work,

i was munching some chocolate biscuits while listening to some music.

my boss suddenly called out to me. so i took off the earphones in order to hear her better.

once we were done talking, in reflex, i shoved the earphones in my mouth and stuffed the crackers in my ears.

typical tasha

funny funny

it's funny how hello

is followed by goodbye

it's funny how good memories

can start to make you cry

it's funny how forever

never seems to last

it's funny how much you'd lose

if you forget about your past

it's funny how good 'friends'

can leave you when you're down

it's funny how when you need someone

they're nowhere to be found

it's funny how people change

to make themselves feel better

it's funny how so many lies

that one person can utter

it's funny how we can forgive

but cant really forget

it's funny how just one night

can be filled with this much regret

it's funny how ironic

life turns out to be

it's funny how none of these things

seem really funny to me

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Good: You’re pregnant.

Bad: It’s triplets.

Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your husband is not talking to you.

Bad: He wants a divorce.

Ugly: He’s a lawyer.

Good: Your daughter is finally maturing.

Bad: She’s involved with the woman next door.

Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.

Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.

Ugly: You’re in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.

Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.

Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Ugly: With corrections.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.

Bad: As a hooker.

Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.

Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!

impatience and pending phone call

as the hours passed by,

my smile quickly turned into a frown.

tolong la orang lain yang unrelated jangan call aku time time crucial macam ni.
suspense tau tak.
hish.

know your bedtime stories

" Alice: [after eating a mushroom] I'm tired of being only three inches
high.
[suddenly grows out of control]

Alice: Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! "

I'm not sure if the extract is familiar to you.

I dont know if you have read Alice in Wonderland and are familiar with the mushroom scene, in the first place.

But a friend of mine , got the honours of trying shrooms and this was what she said, word by word:

Honestly, i am still not interested in drugs at all. But once i took shrooms, i totally understand alice in the wonderland. haha. she was totally tripping, that is all i've gotta say.
When i was on shrooms, i felt i understood the world. and then i felt music in my mouth. and everybody was talking in haiku. and it was amazing.

All i have to say, Go Alice! *winks*