lapar kot

we have to be positive.
and look at life like a bowl full of Mee Ruski.
aaaaahh.

:D

Design of Steel, Timber and Prestressed Concrete Structures

dont freaking pretend that you have a clue.
its just a waste of time.
time's up and
you're screwed.

it's a tad bit too late to talk about remorse now, innit?

and so, i handed in an empty paper.
warghh.

Sing Happy Birthday!

Lets have another round of this.

30th of October


Munirah Zulkifly

Dont ask me how i met her.
Its totally bizarre. Haha.

To my dearest "madu", here's to phenomenal 21st birthday!
Im real sorry Zul and I missed your birthday celebration.
But we do hope you'll have a great one.

Im really sorry if i was ever a bitch to you.
Sorry berebut boyfriend. waaa. hehe.
Itu la i cakap, if its any consolation at all, YOU are my favourite madu. Hee.

If id have to go thru all that shit again just to get to meet you, i would.
Haha.
But it would be mucchh better if we met the conventional way.

Anyways. Please, have a smashing year ahead of you.
We'll come back home real soon.
We'll see you then no?

I love you Munieeeeee!




Khairil Khalid
err. Not much to say apart from Happy Birthday.
Like i said, if buat party, dont forget to ajak me.

And uuhh. Sorry for stalking you masa high school. WAhaha.
Im ok now, really. :D

Please dont just hibernate in your office. Go and have some birthday fun!

p/s: Gambar di kidnap from respective Friendster/Myspace pages. Sorry takde gambar korg. Hee. XD

im wearing shades to the mamak!

ive got a pink eye.
well, not exactly pink eye per se, but my right eye is bengkak
and now i only have half a view of the world.
whoop dee do!
saya sepet!
boleh jadi lucy liu!

A
happy
imagination.

Samantha Who?

i wonder..
why is it that cecilia ahern writes such crappy books, but wonderfully tasteful screenplays?

or perhaps its just that christina applegate is extremely talented?

Has the war begun?

The MPPUTP election is here.
Normally i wouldnt have given a cat's ass.
Because no matter who i vote for the final result would be just the same.

But for the first time in years, im all hyped to vote.
For once, there are a bunch of people whose goals are not simply to turn UTP into an islamic university.
I have nothing against my religion. Its awesome and all that.
But seriously, there are better things to work on rather than getting people to stop dating at night.

A friend of mine is contesting.
For the first time, i see a free haired spirit running for candidacy.
The sad thing is, these 'righteous' people would go to all lengths to bring her down.
They tell people not to vote for her because she doesnt wear a headscarf.
And they terrorized her posters.

They drew headscarfs on the said posters and wrote under the belt comments like 'Wanna Free Sex?'. Dah la english kau broken, nak sabotage people somemore.
Fucking a-holes.

If you're good enough, you shouldnt be scared when somebody's competing against u.
You're only threatened because you know they're better than you.
You know they have better things to offer.

So dont go around putting other people's posters on fire(oh yes it happened). It just shows that uve got tiny balls. Go run home to Mummy and cry you sad extremists.

Phew. There goes.

Bottom line, Im voting because i want UTP to be a better place once i come back from internship. It has been a coconut shell we're sheltering under all this while.

I think its about time we saw the sky, dontcha think?

Here's to Sofia Shaharom, candidate #9. We're right behind you babe.

Estranged?

the event truly sucked.
and i probably got sucked into the massive suckfest.
yea maybe i sucked last night.
just a wannabe with a fedora.

some of the committee members were really nice, especially those ive known from before.
but the others were downright bitchy and a pain in the ass.
the contestants were a gem tho.
regardless to whether they can sing or not,
they were all really clacko wacko.
which made me feel like home.

but the flow was so messed up.
and i didnt get off to a good start.
that bitch told me i looked horrible.
:(

and something happened mid event that made me really pissed.
even the guys from Estranged were pointing it out and asked why i looked so garang.
and offered me a stick.

aah. and thats another thing lagi.
ok ok ye lah ill stop complaining.

ahh screw utp.
im heading back home.
whooooo!!!

wet dream

i dreamt of the moon and the stars.
and i dreamt of a girl that we hate.
i dreamt that she was picking on me.
and then i woke up.

wahai si afro

.I miss the courting times.
The time before all the drama and the karma.
When you can still hear the trust echoing loudly.

Menangis terharu when ingat balik.
waaaaaa.

Sangat sweet nyaaa kamuuu.

Yes yes kami corny but saya sukaaa! Dan saya rasa dia pun suka!
Kamu tak perlu kisah pun.
Hee.

teringat lagi

1:15 AM me: which one?

hehe

sayang: the major crush lah

guess what sayng

me: what?

hehe

sayang: since we got 2gether

theres no other girl in my head

its just u

only u

1:16 AM me: awwwwhhh...

hugs ami

sayang: i x terfikir pasal perempuanlain pon

hugs tasha back

me: no other girl?

betul?

hehehehe

ami, ur the sweetest thing ever kay!!

1:17 AM ur so adorable!

sayang: tasha

ur the nicest human being in the whole world

1:18 AM ur are all the good things

teringat

9:32 PM sayang: thank u soo much

i looooveeee you syang

me: no no no no

thank YOU so much

9:33 PM i lagi lah looooooovveeee you!

sayang: hehe

bestnyer

9:34 PM me: apa yang best nyer?

:)

sayang: best arr

you sayang i

mestilah best

9:35 PM me: giggles

awww baby

*seems like im always saying aww now

hhehehe

9:36 PM sayang: awwww

sayang

awwww

im always saying aww also

9:37 PM that makes the two of us

me: hehehe

sayang ur so sweet masa nak dekat dekat anniversary ni

bestnyer

hehe

sayang: hehe

=)

sweet like candy

sour like plum

9:38 PM you are my baby

you are my charm

me: AWWWW

ozone layer

im selfish.

yes i am.

when people say that you have to recycle because we wont have enough sources to support the next generation, our children, our grandchildren, i seriously cant make myself give a fuck.

so yes im selfish.

i am.

sekotak dunhill, segelas teh tarik

random facts.

1) i have a weak bladder.

2) the internet connection here is the equivalent of a lady with long, rainbow coloured armpit hair. disgustingly annoying macam fuck.

3) i dont like people who think that theyre righteous, when they are in fact, NOT.

4) i go mamak 3 times a night.

5) apparently i look like an indian with chinese eyes. heh?

6) i cant wear high heels.

7) i am suddenly reminded of my boss back when i was working at Guess? who made such a bitchy statement: we dont hire ugly people. errr.

8) The internet connection is such a bitch.

9) I make real good retarded faces. :)

10) I dont know how to flip out and run amok. Perhaps ill try it sometime.

I dont ever wanna be on The Moment of Truth

I saw an episode from the first season.
This lady was answering question after tricky question.
And then she reached the 100thousand point.

The questions was:

1) Do you secretly stay in touch with any bfs that ur husband doesnt know abt?
her answer: no.
lie detector's answer: true.
[the husband was smiling happily, proud of the lil wifey. and he kept muttering that i trust her i trust her]

2) Have you ever taken off your wedding ring to appear as if you were single?
her answer: yes
lie detector's answer: true
[at this point, the husband was still laughing and just looked mildly flustered.]

3) Do you believe you mightve been in love with a former bf on ur wedding day?
her answer: yes
lie detector's answer: true
[the husband claimed that he thought she might still think about the ex but had no idea that she still loved the guy in question. you can see the trembling hands now.]

And this is the tricky part. Her ex-boyfriend actually came on stage to ask the next question.

4) If i wanted to get back together with you, would you leave your husband?
[the girl's dad took the husband's hands and held them gila babi tight that it probably stopped his blood circulation. the fake smile on his face seemed harder to be forced on by now.]

Then her sister hit the buzzer, giving her a free pass(or perhaps so they thought). So she got an alternate question also posed by the ex bf.

4) Do you believe that im the man you should be married to?
her answer: yes
lie detector's answer: true
[The husband was so not smiling anymore. He looked as if he wanted to cry. The ex, on the other hand, looked like a smug bitch]

After all that, she secured the 100thousand jackpot. And the husband asked her to go on. He claimed that "what else is there to really tell me". So she went for it.

5) Since you've been married, have you ever had sexual relations with someone other than your husband?
her answer: yes
lie detector's answer: true
[the husband simply looks like he'd love to cut her up with a steak knife or something equally as painful]

6) Do you think you're a good person?
her answer: yes
lie detector's answer: false
[throughout the time, the husband was mouthing no.]

Ohhh i think its just so stupid that she was honest throughout the time but she lost all that money simply because subconciously she knows that she's not a good person but conciously she had no clue.

I dont know how it ended though. Whether they ended up getting divorce ke apa. But i cringed at every single question posed. Pfft.

Tribute to Wan Maisara Amira Wan Aziz, the brightest chain in the link.

I got a phonecall while i was in the car.

"Sha, remember Ser? Wan Maisara?"
"Uhhuh. Whats with her?"
"She just passed away."

Ker-clunk. Phone jatuh.

Dear Wan Maisara Amira Wan Aziz,

Al-Fatihah.

You're such a pretty sweetheart with so much more in your future. And u amaze us all when u were so determined to fight ur lung cancer. U'll always remain a hero, baby.

I cried last night thinking of the little time that i did get to spend with Sara. Such a polite, kind-hearted person.

Oh, remember that night in school when we played the not-so-polite game of Spin the Bottle? Perhaps not the most appropriate moment to be picking on such memories. But i do remember how happy she seemed.

I talked to Iman last night and his condition was even worse than i wouldve thought. He's more emotionally damaged than me, thats for sure.

See Sara? Thats the effect you have on people.

Whatever happens, we'll always be thinking fondly of you. I love you babe. I hope things are better for u up there than they are for you down here. You're a real fighter and we'll never ever forget that.

Al-Fatihah again. Oh do please take a minute or two and sedekahkan one for her.

Monologue: I cant stop thinking about it without crying. She's my age. What if it was me instead of her last night. Sighhh.

MusicFest 6

Yesterday marks a smashing event by Skarface. Musicfest 6. And presentinggggg..the EMCEES!

I dont even remember what Nad and i was so happy about pun.. Hee. And of course there was the hot-shot rockstar boyfriend! First singing for Marshmellow...

and then as the bassist of Theo-Eyes(which gave such an overwhelming performance btw)..

This is Star-D, the dance group yang super cool. Featuring Pa'e and Fieda. Scary ook their Zombie act. Takuut.

And ini kami dengan abang FunkyDoryz.

Oh. dan ini kawan kawan saya. Ina and Natim.



Overall, it was too fun. Seronok seronok. A definite jump up and down event. Super satisfying. Hee. OK. Keluar dah la semua adjective aku kan.

Id have to say, kudos to Skarface Management. To Am, Jemeck, Jebon and every one of the organizers. You made my weekend. :)

There's so many more pics which havent found its way to my hand yet. So, wait for the continuation uhh?

p/s: check out my new hair!!

My baby is a rockstar!

The sweet sweet lips.
Makes the sweet sweet face light up with the sweet sweet smile.

"I want you here. I may not always be so graceful about it, but i want you here." i feel like saying, everytime i see that smile.

Despite the arguments, he's the pillar i fall back on.
He's the camera that captures my pretty shots.
He's the bubblewrap that i cant resist popping.
He's the only certain thing that i know i want in my future.

And to see him on stage today, playing like a rockstar, i know for sure how giddy im going to be. Like a pink-haired groupie, i shall shout his name.

Im in love baby.
I am.

ampun

Please know that no matter what you do, it is never forgotten.

If its a big mistake, and you think(you THINK) you've been forgiven and is ready to move on from the bad episode to a better light, you HAVENT been forgiven.

your mistake will not be forgiven and forgotten.

and please kiss those hopes to move to a better somewhere away.

until there is real forgiveness, things cant and just wont be better.

Zaman Muda Muda Part 2

Of all the random messages i've gotten from all the random people, that was the only one i was looking forward to.

Day in day out, my cellphone had become the equivalence of a Siamese twin.
Messages after sweet messages will be exchanged from your phone to mine, and back to yours.

I'd hint that i was walking by the lake all by myself, hoping that you would offer to keep me company.
And as predicted, you did.

The next day, you had asked whether you could walk to English class with me(which actually came as a surprise because you never went to class prior to meeting me).

And the rest was history.

Being with you was the easiest thing. It was so much fun that ive always felt like hogging you all to myself. The one little glitch was that u already had a girlfriend.

To be continued...

When Mummy Merajuk

For those who has been trapped in UTP, you know just how retarded our phone reception is kan?

Well, Mom has been trying to contact me for days. She either gets a voicemail or she gets thru but im sleeping like a bulldozer.

So she calls my boyfriend, my roommate, my housemates, my ex-roommate even.

And this morning, she sent me a message:
If awak tak nak cakap dengan Mama dah takpe lah, Mama tak call dah after this.

Alalalalalaa. Comel betul nak merajuk2. Huhuhu.

I texted her after that guna Celcom.

DOne.

p/s: thats the problem when u talk to ur daughter three times a day. Tak dapat cakap for one week kan dah problem. Huhuhu.

why girls become lesbians

they try so hard when theyre trying to win you over.
but when theyve gotten what they want, u dont see any efforts no more.
its always "im tired" and "i have games to play which is so much more interesting than hanging out with you".

its times like these that we salute Fiona Apple for saying:
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

dont worry babe, im right behind you.

*evil grin

She was trying to scream. The bitch. Is the tape not secure enough?

I pulled out the roll of masking tape from my pocket. Stripped out enough, cut them off with my seasoned crocodile-teeth-sharp scissors, and taped a double layer on her mouth.

Hmph. Serves her right. We'll see if she can scream through that.

Both her hands are tied down under two blocks of dry ice. I can see both her hand rotting blue under the cold chunks. I dont believe in ropes. Theyre just so inconvenient. Ive seen too many movies where the hostage manages to escape due to the fucking ropes. I know better. Im sure she does too. Which is why im not gonna take any chances with this one.

I look over to my right and see my toolbox hanging open like the mouth of a hungry lion. So many beautiful tools i can manage her with. I cant seem to decide. Thats alright, theres plenty of time. Its not like anyone would notice that the bitch has disappeared.

Ive done my calculation. It would be at least a few days after im done with her before anyone would realize what has happened. By then, she'd be in little bits and scraps. Nothing anyone could do will make any difference then.

She was squirming. Squirming hard.

I kicked her on the stomach. Why is this piece of shit trying to make my work harder? Doesnt she know any better? Delicious red blood is trickling down her mouth. I giggled seeing the beautiful sight.

To be continued?

Zaman Muda Muda

I still remember the first time i kicked your shin.
I was so lousy at futsal. I probably still am. Hee.

You were this astonishing creature that ive never came across in my life before. You didnt so much as blinked being surrounded by a group of girls baywatching around with a football. Nor did you try to chat up any of them. Even when we made conversations(and perhaps flirted a little) it was like you didnt even notice our existance.

I pondered upon it for a while. And then the answer came to me. You didnt notice other girls because you already had a girlfriend. The discovery of your innocent loyalty(or should i say loyal innocence?) struck a chord somewhere deep within me. I bet that was how Isaac Newton felt like upon discovering gravity.

Yes yes, maybe i'm exaggerating a little but suka hati aku lah kan? :P

From that point on, everything you did was cute.

It didnt matter that ur hair wasnt spiky and that you didnt play guitar. It wouldnt even have mattered if you peed in a longkang right before my eyes. I'd still find it cute.

Like an inexperienced girl having a crush on a guy for the first time, i grabbed every available opportunity to sit next to you, talk to you and crafted a card for your birthday.

I'd pretend to go to the toilet and ask the person sitting next to you to teman. In the toilet, i'd make her an offer she couldnt refuse(haha. did i even have the courtesy to offer u anything back then Na?) to trade places with me.

[Yes sayang, that was how i ended up sitting next to you during the movie]

Ohh. And i'd stalk your Myspace page to see how much better looking your girlfriend was compared to me. I'd do so many stupid little things that i thought was subtle, but obviously(excuse the pun) was not.

So one fine day, when my phone rang in the lab, showing an incoming message from you, i literally jumped up and down abandoning the chemicals reacting on the table. There are more important chemicals reaction i had to obsess about. :)

To be continued..

Raya Pics

Raya with my Sayangs.

5 stops and a clamped car. Tahniah kawan kawan!

Maybe this is late.
But they say its never too late kan?
So if you beg to differ, shoo, pergi main jauh jauh.

Im only human.
And a very loud and annoying one pula tu.
So its only fair that i make my fair share of mistakes.
But if ive been abusing the privilege of making mistakes, please forgive me.

You can close your eyes now(and maybe squint a little just so you can continue reading) and picture me kneeling down on my knees, hugging your kaki the way all the actors do in old Malay film when theyre begging for forgiveness from their Mak Tiri.

I am sorry if i have bullied you whether in public or privately.
I am sorry if ive hurt you or broke your heart.
I am sorry if ive been kerek to you whether intentionally or tak sengaja.
I am sorry if at a point in my life, ive talked about you behind your back.

I am sorry if i had something against you but never really came out and confronted you.
I am sorry if i have made you uncomfortable by being too liberal about things.
I am sorry if i have borrowed your cash and pau-ed your magic sticks time tgh miskin.
I am sorry if ive been rude and tak makan saman.

Okay. There goes. Now, should i go on or should i apologise for being born jugak? Hahaha.

Bottom point is, I truly am sorry from the bottom of my nicotine-coated heart(eh bukan lungs ka tuu?) for all the pain and sakit hati that ive caused. I promise ill try(try is the keyword ok!) to be a better human being. Hoho.

On a serious note, Ive discovered that maybe im not any better than the people i always gossip about. Maybe i gossip about them pun because i see a speckle of myself in them. And thats why im asking for forgiveness.

Ampun maaf.
Zahir AND Batin(though this only applies to some of you).

Oh. I almost forgot.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Just Because

Just because
people put their candy faces on when they talk to you
It doesnt mean
they dont have stinky remarks to whisper about behind your back.

Just because
You spend a lot of time with someone and get along well with them
It doesnt mean
they like you as much as they care to portray.

Just because
you rarely hangout anymore
It doesnt mean
the friendship has ended

Just because
you trust someone
It doesnt mean
your secret is safe with them

Just because
you have lots of friends
It doesnt mean
theyll all back you up when ur in deep shit.

Just because
you like people
It doesnt mean
they like u too.