kalau terjatuh, nak buat macam mana?

aku kerap terjatuh :
jatuh cinta
jatuh sakit

biasanya, jatuh cinta dulu
diikuti jatuh sakit.

p/s : setahun yang lepas, saya dah post yang ini. selepas 365 hari (lebih sedikit), nampaknya post ini masih applicable, masih relevant.

the next time you want to be bitchy, remember this

There was a wise man who moved to the city of Akbar.
No one took much notice of him, and his teachings were not taken up by the populace.
After a time, he became the object of their mockery and their ironic comments.

One day, while he was walking down the main street in Akbar,
a group of men and women began insulting him.
Instead of pretending that he had not noticed, the wise man turned to them and blessed them.

One of the man said :
Are you deaf too? We call you the foulest of names and yet you respond with sweet words!

We can each of us only offer what we have,
came the wise man's reply.

-taken from 'Like The Flowing River'

THIS is exactly why i love Paulo Coelho.

Oh, and I'm sorry for not updating this measly blog as religiously as i would have liked.
Truth is, i'm trying to compile my writings into a book.
So most of the things that i write go in there instead of here.
(An angan angan that i feel the need to accomplish for the sake of learning and discovering something new about myself.)

Bear with me.
I'll be back.
:)

when i think about you

you are
something that fills in my blanks

the punchline to my jokes
the chorus to my songs
the dimple to my smile
the sparkle in my eyes

you are
the missing piece of my puzzle

life is not a hollywood movie

Have you ever wondered kenapa you feel miserable and have bloody murderous thoughts at times?
it's not because the world is out to get you.
it's not because semua orang nak cari pasal dengan you.
no.

REALITY CHECK kejap please!
you're doing it to yourself.

ive explained the rule of karma dah berapa juta kali dah i rasa.
nak berbuih dah mulut.
(or, to be more politically(?) correct, dah carpal tunnel dah type pasal karma)

ok. i faham you tgh serabut sekarang.
you have banyak gila problem.
and you sakit hati when you see that everyone else is getting on with life as if dekat luar tu semua rainbows and butterflies je.
and you feel left out, because your life sucks and you feel like hiding in a hole until everything gets better.
and the notion of how life goes on, leaving you behind feeling perasaan perasaan yang slightly short of suicidal, that sucks big time, i know.

yes yes i know.

but the more you run away from it.
the more you rebel against it.
the worse it'll get.

as you all know,
i was feeling dreadfully sorry for myself a few weeks back.
in the midst of complaining about my problems, i tak sedar that the person i was complaining to tu mcm ada problem yang lagi banyak and lagi lah in dire need of help sebenarnya.

dwelling on a problem doesnt make it go away.
being bitter to people around you, that wont solve your problem jugak.

think about it, at the time that you need to have moral supports from people around you, what good would it do if you push all these people out?

memang in the end kau end up rasa morally defeated ah.

dah dah.
jangan repeat mistake i.
and jangan lari from your problem jugak.
kata russell peters, BE A MAN!
face it yaww.

teruk teruk problem kau, banyak lagi orang kat luar tu yang ada problem lagi teruk.
ok?
so stop feeling sorry for yourself,
and do something about it for a change.

:)

this is why you shouldnt get any tattoo

life is meant to be filled with problems and obstacles.
kalau takde problem langsung, itu kita panggil afterlife (provided that you get a spot in heaven lah).

problems will constantly arise.
if you handle them well, and find a solution before it's too late,
you might get some time to put your feet up and relax before you need to deal with the next problem.

tapi,
untuk procrastinator macam saya,
memang tak best lah.
problem yang tiga bulan lepas tak settle lagi,
suddenly ada6345654758 problem baru that needs to be solved.

Sebab tu orang cakap jangan tangguh kerja,
degil, tak nak dengar,
sekarang kan dah terpaksa cakap 'I told you so' dekat batang hidung sendiri.

It seems that all i do these days are talk about my problems.
I bet korang penat nak baca.

It sucks though, having to handle all kinds of masalah.
It sucks even more when the one person who never fails to make me forget all about my problems is 2 hours away from me (1 hour plus kalau bawak kereta 180km/h).
Hehhh.

Anyway.
Im supposed to be finishing my poster for my Final Year Project punya presentation.
And even though it's supposed to be completed, and printed and laminated,
I haven't even finished the bloody poster.
Instead, im googling random stuff.

I found this on the net and it seemed appropriate dengan tajuk perbincangan hari ini:
MISTAKES.

Ini adalah gambar gambar tattoos gone wrong.
You know, ive always wanted to have a tattoo of a butterfly on the nape of my neck.
If only it wasnt prohibited by Islam,
dah lama dah i ada rama rama terbang kat leher.

But i pretty much dah berhenti berangan ever since i saw these :

ok ok ok.
ini paling PHAIL sekali.

comel kaaaaaan.
wahahahahhaa.

Pesanan Kerajaan : Jangan buat tattoo dekat parlour yang dodgy. Unless kalau kau banyak duit spare nak buat laser removal in case anything goes wrong.

Pesanan I : Kalau nak sangat jugak buat tattoo, jangan ambik gambar susah susah Godzilla Ultraman la segala. Buat gambar orang lidi cukup. :)

soalan bodoh yang orang tanya

I'm not trying to say that I'm smart and that i ask smart questions.
(okay. maybe just a little. hehh)
But i cant comprehend how some people can ask the stupidest questions just because they think it's okay to sound stupid if you're doing it anonymously.

I'll let the questions do the talking.
I found this on yahoolaughs.com and i couldnt stop laughing.
These questions are best read when you are high.

Enjoy.


See what i mean?

Suffering from Quarter Life Crisis

and thus i think im going to be on hiatus for a while.

ive never in my life felt this way.
macam rasa theres a constant chest pain (yang kalau umur saya 56 tahun saya dah pergi checkup dah, kot kot symptom heart attack) and completely alone and tak tahu what i can do to fix things.

People tell me theyll be there for me,
and that theyll support me.
Tapi it doesnt make any difference.

And tak membantu lah kan, the fact that ive never in my life felt this way.
Im hoping by writing this down, it will take some of the burden off my chest.
Tapi mungkin this time i cant expect an easy way out.

Saya rasa saya tengah experience Quarter Life Crisis.
Umur saya sekarang ada lah dua dekad terlebih sikit.
Patutnya lagi 3 tahun baru qualify nak kena Quarter Life Crisis.
Dammit, premature symptom pulak.
Sheesh.

I came across this kat my Standard 6 bestfriend punya blog.
And for reason yang tak tahu apa, i need to spread the disease.

Symptoms of Quarter Life Crisis:

1. It's an end to your peer pressure era and you stop trying to fit in and tiba tiba you get all these new revelations about yourself. Yang tak best nya, you wont necessarily like what you discover about yourself. Macam ini contoh dia :

yess. ada orang tanya i ni kat formspring. woot woot.

2. You start fretting about what your life is gonna be like in a year or two. Lepas tu cuak extra lagi because you're going crazy about the near future, padahal you dont even know where you are right now. Macam, sekarang pun tak berapa nak berpijak di bumi yang nyata (wah wah) lagi nak fikir what will happen lagi setahun dua.

A few while back, i thought i had everything figured out. Nak beli duplex sendiri, nak tukar kereta, and then get married with someone i can lie in bed with and cerita drama hidup hari ini and attempt to make babies everyday just because it's legal dah.

Tapi tiba tiba sekarang semua priorities dah tunggang terbalik. I dont even know mana atas mana bawah.

3. You either :
- get your heart broken and tak faham how someone you love could crush you to pieces
- wonder why you can't meet somebody decent
- love someone but yet have feelings for someone else too and mcm 'shitt, why am i doing this? this is breaking the rules but yet i know aku takde la jahat'

soalan paling susah dalam dunia yang tak ada jawapan

4. You are either studying or doing something that is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. And you realize that when you start working, you'd have to begin from the bottom and it scares you.

OK. Pengakuan honest. I memang bahlol Physics. Serious jangan cakap dengan i pasal moment of inertia atau pun normal force and tension of a concrete pile. Memang satu hari aku garu kepala tak boleh nak jawab.

Yet, here i am, doing Civil Engineering and majoring in Offshore (i dont even like laut all that much!!!)

and this is how much i hate being stuck in my current position

5. Thank god, at this stage, people become more opinionated. Nak tahu tak, back in high school, i was someone who didnt have my own opinion. Macam loser gila okay. Kejap orang ni cakap Britney Spears cool, aku pun agree. Esok orang lain cakap Britney loser gila, pun agree jugak. Wahahaha.

And it's in this stage jugak, that you start to notice how people around you act and the reasons behind their actions. Boleh la kot kalau nak ckp that you become more judgmental. But not necessarily in a bad way.

And time ni lah, one minute you insecure, then the next rasa macam secure gila. You feel alone and scared and confused (which based on what im feeling now, is NOT a good combo, percaya lah). Change, at this point, macam raksasa jahat dalam cerita Ultraman. You want to avoid it selagi yang boleh, sebab you have this feeling that if you have to confront Change, it's gonna pijak u sampai lenyek boleh buat cekodok.

6. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

Ada satu phase in your life, you tend to get enthralled by semua new things that you baru discover, tapi sooner or later you'll realize that that was all it was. A phase. And you tend to want to snap out of it. Kalau ada yang masih tak nak snap out of it, maknanya they are just orang tua yang bajet muda. Atau worse still, culture shock tak hengat. Pfft.

I actually know this bunch of 28 year olds yang kalau duduk dekat mamak 5 jam, the whole 5 hours tu they wont stop talking about clubbing and drinking and hooking up with random guys. It's like, hello, cant we talk about something else? Penat gila aku nak dengar korang cerita benda sama 5 jam!

7. And it is now that you can't seem to make a decision. Semua benda confusing. Do i do this? Or would that option be better? And these questions seem to be stuck on a loop dalam kepala and yes, kawan kawan you lah yang penat nak dengar hikayat masalah you because you just cant stop talking about it. and tak dapat solution jugak.

8. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

Ini sangat betul sebab saya sendiri pun tengah ternganga trying to figure all this out. And i wish there is an easy way out tapi i guess God just wants us to go through this for some reason.

OK. Time untuk konklusi. Are you suffering from Quarter Life Crisis?
Cuz i sure as hell am.

Hantaran Sedulang Hati untuk Puteri Rambut Sedap Part Two

Click sini untuk Part One

Mereka semua sudah pesan,
jangan buat kerja gila.
Fikir sebelum cakap
(google before you tweet, bak kata versi modern).
Nanti hati carik sebelah, kata mereka.

Tapi aku memang degil.

Haaa, sekarang kan dah dapat padah nya.
Hey! Gembira tak bergelumang dengan darah sendiri?
Puteri Rambut Sedap girang gembira dengan hantaran yang kamu bagi?
*ketawa sinis*

Sudah sudah lah
Ini memang tawar,
tapi telan saja lah.
Sama ada kamu telan, atau korban kan sanity kamu.
Faham?

Ini gambaran Puteri Rambut Sedap dalam kotak kepala.

(Ini Elina dalam ANTM Cycle 11)
(Hari ini pelukis graphic cuti bersunat, tak dapat nak hasilkan gambar untuk kisah dongeng ini)

Birmingham Blues

benci game ini.

i hated the fact that :

-our first goal was not considered
-they kept doing that last minute goal thing. haa kan dah backfire hari ni
-Vermaelen couldnt do shit to help
-it took Arsenal so long to penetrate Birmingham's defense
-there were so many drama queens on the field today
-the split screen kept on coming up, bragging about Chelsea's goal after goal
-MU won 4 nil against Bolton when we only won 4-2

and last but not least,

-my teh ais was so manis it felt like i was drinking a can of susu pekat manis F&N.

bleugh.

mneyh

hi.
nama saya ghani.
lamborghani.

PFFT.

Bak Datang Soalan Cepumas

for the benefit of people out there,
who dont know me (but like to pretend that they do),
and listen to crazy stories about me and believe it wholeheartedly
and for no solid reason,
passes on the story as if it's theirs,

i am being nice and offering you a chance to ask me questions directly.
get your stories straight, darling.
ask me and i will try to answer them
(provided that the question was not asked dengan intention jawapannya boleh digunakan sebagai sumber bahan lancap)

yes yes,
saya jawab sendiri
(because i belum cukup glamour nak hire personal assistant).

http://formspring.me/merissak

dj HitzFM kata gloat tu bagus!

kata salah seorang DJ Hitz FM pagi semalam :
gloating is the best part of winning.
(sempena kemenangan Man Utd over Liverpool)

but dont you think that that is mere bullshit?
(MU fan memang suka biat statement bullshit, offence intended)

If we gloat,
dan nak hebahkan our success,
does it not cancel out the victory itself?

p/s : Arsenal pun menang jugak.
pp/s : Ini bukan gloating.

Sekian terima kasih.

reading is better than sex.

i dont know about you guys, but reading is my escape from reality.

seronok kot.
for a few short hours, you dont have to think about your breakup.
you dont have to be reminded of the fact that 'Oh shit! duit dah habis!'
you dont have to constantly think about engineering subjects yang buat you rasa mcm nak tampar muka sendiri sampai you hear ringing in your ears.


you dont have to think about the weight you couldnt lose
or the fact that kereta kau dah 3 minggu takde minyak
or having friends who backstab you
or (sila include your daily worries here, penat la semua i nak buat kan. hehe)

semua benda boleh tolak ke tepi.

for that few short hours,
you can be both princess and pauper.
you can travel back in time and talk to Einstein about theories and philosophy.
you can be a team of angel and devil on the way to plan Armageddon.
you can be contestant in an Indian reality show.
you can have wild romping sex on top of a roof.
you can live in magical lands where rabbits talk.

eh banyak lah you can do.

and you know what they say, theres no image better than the ones that you let your imagination paint for you.
that is why, movies based on books sentiasa sentiasa kena kutuk dengan readers.
because what they present is rarely better than the depiction that we already have in our minds.

disebab kan kecintaan terhadap buku yang teramat sangat,
i think im gonna start a book blog.
buat review buku buku yang dah baca.
(ha tasha, engkau bab bab mcm ni memang rajin kan? assignment Steel dah buat?)

on a totally serious note,
if you have any mind-boggling problems,
instead of finding the nearest bangunan tinggi to jump off from,
cuba baca buku instead
(dalam masa masa suicidal, saya syor kan baca Al-Quran)

it helps, really.

intuisi

ini cuma intuisi aku,
bukan betul-betul.
kamu semua, memang dodgy.
tapi, ini cuma intuisi aku.

dengan cakap cakap sampah kamu
yang diselangi dabikan dada
oh kamu ada skyline? (ini sudah jadi tagline kamu, bukan?)
tapi aku cuma pernah lihat kamu ditemani motor cabuk saja.

oh duit kamu berkepuk kepuk
oh kawan kamu semua gangster jalanan berpistol
aku tak peduli semua itu
yang aku lihat, cuma habuk dan kata kata gebang
tak boleh dipakai.

tapi, ini kan cuma intuisi aku
intuisi yang membuat kamu semua begitu repulsif di mata aku.

Arsenal oh Arsenal!

Yesterday i bumped into Timmy at the local mamak and he asked me why i havent been updating much on Arsenal .

Honestly, i think it has a lot to do with our horrific loss over Manchester United and Chelsea.
Nak bangga menang dengan Liverpool pun tak boleh, i mean, siapa tak menang over Liverpool kan? *sly grin*

But yeah, i think i lost my momentum because it wasnt like it's enough that your own team disappoints you, your friends would have to join in and make you feel like stuffing a cigarette box of 20 for mocking The Gunners as well.

OK.
Nak dengar cerita?

During the match with MU, i was rushing to catch the game, tapi sebab game start pukul 12 and i only left KL around 1145 or so, terpaksa la dengar BFM punya live commentary (which totally sucked by the way, sebab tak dapat tgk apa jadi and terpaksa rely on the commentator, tapi commentator biased towards MU teramat la sangat nya. menyampah!).

I seriously drove laju gila tak agak agak (kalau dapat saman speedtrap lepas ni, sorry Papa, tak sengaja. heheh) just so i'd get to watch sikiiiiiit hujung hujung game tu pun jadi lah.

And i made it on time. Pecah record drive from KL to Perak tak sampai 2 jam. Dapat la tengok the last 15 minutes of the game.

Now, dah la i sampai dah memang nampak takde harapan nak menang. And when the game was over, my fear was proven. Kalah memalukan. Anyway, as if that was not enough, Mok (who, yes, knowing my luck had to be an MU supporter) who was sitting right next to me, boleh pulak hantar SMS membakar dan menggelakkan kekalahan.

Not one SMS. Not two. Not even three. He sent FOUR.

AND I WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! Mulut dia tengah bergerak lagi kutuk Arsenal, and at the same time message terus masuk dalam phone, also from Mok, also kutuk Arsenal.

Baik kan kawan kawan i? :)

And dont get me started on the Chelsea game. Dah dah malas nak cakap.
Hehe.
So, yeah, that's my excuse.

But i guess since we've won 5-0 over Porto, and since we're back on the running to win the title, I'm sort of getting my mood back.

I mean, our chance is just as good as Chelsea and MU i think. Out of the 9 games, we just have to make sure that we win one game extra dari MU. And for Chelsea to, i dont know, drop dead. Hahaha.

Tapi, i think it's not that bad lah. Out of the 9, yang paling menggerunkan pun would be Manchester City, other than that, boleh menang kot (ok, i hope i tak jinx it by saying it. hehe).

MU still has to face Chelsea (i dont know who i'd rather have lose. It's really a tough decision).

Look at it this way, after the Burnley fiasco, pundits and critics and even some fans were bashing Bendtner. And he rose from the ashes (cehceh macam phoenix pulak) and did well in the Porto game.

Mana la tau, after this people will start picking on Diaby ke, tiba tiba ambik kau, 15 goal terus. Heheh. Well, it's not wrong to dream kan? :P