Tuesday, March 11, 2014


In the midst of plane crashes and conspiracy theories,
a thought (that had dawned on me for a while now) finally settled.

A prayer is a prayer,
whether it is vocalized or not.
Feeling for one or caring for them
is not indicated by your verbalization of the feeling or the care.

If it's there, it's there.
Making it public does not make it more significant,
just as Silence does not make it any less noteworthy.

They did say that at the end of the day, your view on the world is a mere reflection of yourself.
If compassion is what you give, compassion is what you receive.
(There I go again, stating the obvious!)

But when it comes to these things, that's what everything is - obvious - is it not?

Friday, February 28, 2014

Getting to Know 'No' Now

There are a number of things that I'm good at. Things like pretending to have the ability to speed-read or avoiding confrontations. I'm particularly good at procrastinating. And being unrealistically optimistic. I'm also proud to claim that my track record in over-thinking is exceptional.

On the other side of the room, I'm pretty terrible at remembering facts. Stories latch on me like velcroes, but facts? They always play pretty hard to get.
I am terrible at saying no. My ego has not yet mastered the art of handling rejections and hence, I, too actively avoid handing them out (in living fear of Karma).

At work, they told me I need to say No more often. 
In recruitment where both the product and consumer are people, my inability to say no more often than not results in expectations not being properly managed. Both on my side and the other party's.

I've also heard Them say 'how you do one thing is how you do everything'. 

Verdict : Some tweaking needs to be done on the matter. 

Friday, February 21, 2014

Clark Kent

He came :
from a distant star
out of nowhere
rather mystically

He was
more of the silent (and salient) kind ;
more watching than narrating
more observing than commenting
more doing than talking

He carried
a secret
a past
a passion for passion

He had
a weakness
- kryptonite,
and I
had a weakness
for him

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Frozen Waves With a Tinge of Sunrise

(Koh Lipe, 2014)

The North Star stood in all its glorious glimmer against the blue indigo sky.
The sun is about to come up but I think the bright star is not ready for a shift off the throne just yet.

That was my dream about him last night - the North Star.

The nights with him are exactly how nights are meant to be - absorbed in conversations that make you completely oblivious to the act of night turning to day.
Nights that let you travel from ecstasy to insanity and back.

Half devastatedly in love, half preparing for my heart to be broken.
(and note that there is a massive difference between 'preparing' and 'expecting')
Torn between hoping and not having expectations.

After all, a promise not made is a promise not broken.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Earth. Wind. Fire. Water.

Earth was confused.
When she sits on top of the mountains, she stands on tiptoe, reaching outwards towards the night sky.
At the same time, she has an impulsive need to be grounded.
That is why she sometimes find herself torn between two worlds, stuck between two extremes.

Wind was a frantic being.
Always swaying every which way.
Sometimes with humble passion, sometimes in fierce force.
Easily adaptable.
She travels to every nook and crannies, searching for questions, searching for answers.
She is known for her ferocity and she finds herself being called upon each time she sat too still.

Fire was warm and jovial.
But to get her in that state, one has to keep her calm.
Once enraged, she burns and burns.
She brings with her both civilization and destruction of civilization.
Her passion drives her forward. When contained, she can lit up a room. When set free, she roams far.
At the end of the day, she always gets what she wants.

Warer was the one always in control. Flowing, but in control.
She can't be left stagnant.
She is regal in her movement and certainly not an element you would want to cross.
Not a character that will hold back, as you can guess.
You will do well to recognize her ability to be fluid in her stillness.

When the four of them get together, it is truly a convention of all sorts!
With Fire and Water crackling and hissing at one another, Wind fanning Fire out in an attempt to calmly soothe her.
The elements blend wel together, filling in each other's gaps and filling up each other's voids.
Assembled together, they rule Nature, rocking shores with their collective presence.

The Two Stars That Almost Collided But Didn't

Amongst the speckled stars, they were the only ones zooming forth, standing out in between their static neighbours.

It happened quickly.
They were headed towards one another, like polar magnet dust.
It was unplanned and it was inevitable.

The other stars silently flickered, watching in mute interest.

The two stars inched closer. 
They were both moving in constant acceleration.
If they kept going at the same pace, they will clash into each other's embrace and then - SUPERNOVA!

There will be explosions and mini-explosions.
There will be sparks and fire everywhere.
They'll morph into shooting stars.

Their audience kept still.
Waiting for the impact to create a show to entertain them.

They are fractions away from one another now.
There's only the sound of breath being held.
And then - nothing.

Turns out they were on different heights the whole time.
Aligned, but on different tracks.

(Koh Lipe)

(Image : The Night The Stars Fell To The Sea,
Courtesy of Cedric Canard)


I am writing this with some salt between the pages.
If you're wondering what that means - don't.
It's not an ancient proverb by any means.
It simply means that not all things mean something.

"Grass will always be greener on the other side."
Not necessarily so.
It's just a matter of perception, yes?
It's human tendency, after all, to be constantly chasing 'something better'. 
The problem lies in the theory that equates 'something better' with 'something i dont have'. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Old conversations can be renewed.
Old kisses can evoke new sensations.
Just the way old antiques can be polished.

Life can be ironic that way.
As if it's consciously choosing to play a joke on you while mischievously laugh at you in mockery.

Signs loom around you,
urging you to discover the encrypted message lying beneath them.
But you'll only know when you know.
 - Which is not saying much.

So, here we go!
To wonderment and unlocked mysteries!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


The more people expose themselves to someone, the more loyal they are to them.

That is why you should always put extra caution on who you expose your soul to - Because you will ultimately be bounded to this person in ways you dont even consciously realize, and it's mightily important that you do not give such amount of power to someone unworthy of it.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Mellow Monday

Whenever i reflect, i could always remember a time when i get really agitated because my patience was being tested.

Oh, the rush of youth!

Little did i know that i was required to wait for as long as i had to, simply because my youthful greed wouldnt have been able to handle the act of receiving anytime sooner.

The Wait had to be precisely that length to prepare me. Young souls can never truly appreciate that notion though. It has to be fast! It has to be right now, and not a minute later! And it has to be a lot Lot LOT!


Anything that does not happen gradually will give you shocks (and not the good ones, i might add). And anything that id not done in moderation will at some point over or underwhelm you.

So yes. That's our lesson for the day. That, and loving for the sake of the Creator means to love and act with grace rather than like a fanatic, urm, fan.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

In Silence lies answers.

You keep a picture of them.
in your wallet, on your facebook profile.
some photo album or scrapbook, in some dusty box along with a couple of ticket stubs and homemade DIY cards.
and you tell yourself that it does not mean anything. Though we both know, it clearly does.

For a long time, they seemed intent to convince you that YOU are their turning point in life, and you are the fixture that keeps themselves grounded. that a scene without you in it, is not an ideal setting.

But somehow, now, they're off and away, and they seem okay.
Okay without their turning point, their fixture.
Without you.

And so, you keep remnants of them, of the you-that-used-to-be,
of past lives and never-would-be futures. And you tell yourself, it's not that you can't or won't let go.
It's not that at all.

You just can't be bothered to fuss over a stupid picture.
It's just a picture.
It's just facebook.
It's just something you keep in a box stashed deep under your bed.
You don't want to waste your time or energy having to get rid of that thing-that-doesnt-mean-anything.

But that's exactly why you should rid yourself off it!
It's kind of how it's like with doctors - no matter how obvious a death is, they still need to vocalize the words 'This patient is dead' to the family.

There's something about the physical act of acknowledging non-physical pain. Sometimes, you just need to state the obvious.

because sometimes, the blunt truth is what people need to hear in order to be able to register the fact;
to start mourning it, so they can eventually continue on with their life without the company (or even the idea) of this entity, and be completely okay.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

There's ALWAYS a Reason.

There's always a reason.

If there's anything that my engineering education has taught me, it is this. Anything that moves will stay in its motion and direction until an external force is exerted on it, changing its course. This external force is the reason.

There's a reason why you got trapped in traffic with a friend whom you have a lot to catch up on.

There's a reason why randomly touching stranger's hair (even little girls') in an elevator is frowned upon by society (because it's weird).

There's a reason why some questions take a longer time to be answered than others.
There's a reason for lovers becoming strangers. And strangers becoming friends.

There's a reason for goodbyes. And a reason for hellos.

There's a reason why you need to get away.
And another for you to come back.

There's a reason why I wrote this.
And there's a reason why you're reading it.

There's always a reason.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Lunar Blues

The full moon is peeking at me from beneath the clouds - only showing glimpses at a time. 
It is as if the moon is not quite ready to share its greatness with me.

And so I lay sprawled on my back,
silently urging the moon to come out and show itself to me,
yearning for a little piece of magic. 


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My Cookie Jar

My excited squeal resembled more of a 5 year old finally getting her small hand into a humongous cookie jar after weeks of eyeing said jar. Except that i'm not 5 and it wasn't the content of a cookie jar i was getting excited about!

The forecast predicted a thunderstorm.
In this day of tsunamis and hurricanes, that is not a prediction you would want to hear when you are heading to the beach.

Fortunately enough for us, Nature decided to pick our side and give the forecast a run for its money.
The sky was completely cloudless and the whole stretch of infinity was filled with scattered stars for as far as your eyes can take in.

"We're dancing beneath the stars!! I dont't care about the fact that I sound corny saying this! Hell man! We're dancing beneath the stars!!"

And my friends - they just beamed and nodded, because there wasn't much else to say to that.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Take Me Away

I still can't quite believe that we're closing in on mid-November already.
In my head, it's still 2009, so each time the calendar reminds me that it's not, it usually leaves me a little dumbfounded (and I will put on my 'broken machine' act that involves having a monologue that goes along the "2012 is almost over. i can't believe this, i can't!" line being played on repeat in my head for a couple of seconds - sometimes, minutes).

I'll be leaving, in a day's time.
A much needed break, I think.
I'll come back (invigorated, I hope) and possibly continue fretting on and on about how fast time flies (Tch! As if people didn't already know!)

Yesterday, on the streets, i saw people holding hands and not holding hands,
People flicking cigarettes and pushing strollers.

But tomorrow,
tomorrow I will smell salt in the air,
and have sand grains in my hair.