Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Wish Well at the Wishing Well

I wished on you without knowing that you'd waltz in, an embodiment of all the closures i'd never gotten and answer all the questions i'd never thought of asking. 

I now wish that my wish is wishing on me too.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

I always wonder why i write better when im sad and bitter rather than when i do it when happy and smitten.

When i write happy, im always second-guessing my own ability to capture the joy into words. I feel like i would do myself injustice if i dont use the right context and portray it the way it is in my head. 

So i'm gonna face my fear and give it a try now, while i'm somewhat in limbo. 

Truth is, i'm scared of finding all ive ever been looking for in you. Because i'm unsure of whether or not you've been looking in me too.

At the same time, this is the kind of scared that I'm sure of. 

This is the kind of scared that comes with constant reassurances. 

So i'm gonna delve into this, scared and smitten and all. 

Sunday, December 28, 2014


To the one who watches the sun rise and set with/for me, the regular anticipation and constant companion is keeping me going.

Thanks for making your presence felt in your absence.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Menunggu Bulan Purnama

They say, there are three things wise men fear ; the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man. 

Now, i'm hardly wise and i'm hardly a man, but i have to say, 'they' make a very compelling argument, and i wholeheartedly agree.

The moon is half-full now as i'm typing this. For reasons i cannot articulate, i have been properly anxious awaiting for it to grow whole. This time, far more anxious than the previous moon cycles. 

Then again, the excitement is derived from the anticipation. 

If anyone knows the secret to calm an anxious heart and steady a restless mind, lets be friends. I'll buy you dinner and you can tell me all about it over the meal. 

Thursday, July 3, 2014


My fingers tingle...
At the memory of your clasped hand
At the feel of new pages
At the grip of a good pen
At the scribbles of new (and old) tales

And i want to share this with you -
through words and non-words
through silent goads and heavy whispers
In hopes that your context
will meet my context
and that they will be fond of one another

Monday, June 23, 2014

String of Words

"Let me do the walking"
"I don't know what I would've done if you weren't around"
"You make things interesting"

To be honest,
Sometimes I don't know what makes people say the things that they say.

To be more honest, 
'Most times' is more precise than 'sometimes'.

Most times, I wonder if these fleeting words were ever meant to travel far.

Each time, I wonder if they would linger, leave a legacy or get terribly lost in time.

"But if stars shan't shine
By the very first time
Then dear it's fine, so fine by me
Cause we can give it time
So much time, with me"

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Stating The Obvious

Whenever in doubt, remove yourself, get away and come back so you can see things under new light.

Good decisions come with immense responsibility. Bad decisions come with immense consequences.

It's never about the destination but it's almost always about the people you meet and the stories you hear along the way.

More hesitance, more resistance.

Support always brings better outcomes than pressure does.

Thursday, April 24, 2014


I had a terrible dream of my past chasing me up all the way into the present, suffocating me enough that I couldn't make it to the future.

Familiar faces with familiar behaviour can more often than not surprise you with alien outcomes.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


In the midst of plane crashes and conspiracy theories,
a thought (that had dawned on me for a while now) finally settled.

A prayer is a prayer,
whether it is vocalized or not.
Feeling for one or caring for them
is not indicated by your verbalization of the feeling or the care.

If it's there, it's there.
Making it public does not make it more significant,
just as Silence does not make it any less noteworthy.

They did say that at the end of the day, your view on the world is a mere reflection of yourself.
If compassion is what you give, compassion is what you receive.
(There I go again, stating the obvious!)

But when it comes to these things, that's what everything is - obvious - is it not?

Friday, February 21, 2014

Clark Kent

He came :
from a distant star
out of nowhere
rather mystically

He was
more of the silent (and salient) kind ;
more watching than narrating
more observing than commenting
more doing than talking

He carried
a secret
a past
a passion for passion

He had
a weakness
- kryptonite,
and I
had a weakness
for him

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Frozen Waves With a Tinge of Sunrise

(Koh Lipe, 2014)

The North Star stood in all its glorious glimmer against the blue indigo sky.
The sun is about to come up but I think the bright star is not ready for a shift off the throne just yet.

That was my dream about him last night - the North Star.

The nights with him are exactly how nights are meant to be - absorbed in conversations that make you completely oblivious to the act of night turning to day.
Nights that let you travel from ecstasy to insanity and back.

Half devastatedly in love, half preparing for my heart to be broken.
(and note that there is a massive difference between 'preparing' and 'expecting')
Torn between hoping and not having expectations.

After all, a promise not made is a promise not broken.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Earth. Wind. Fire. Water.

Earth was confused.
When she sits on top of the mountains, she stands on tiptoe, reaching outwards towards the night sky.
At the same time, she has an impulsive need to be grounded.
That is why she sometimes find herself torn between two worlds, stuck between two extremes.

Wind was a frantic being.
Always swaying every which way.
Sometimes with humble passion, sometimes in fierce force.
Easily adaptable.
She travels to every nook and crannies, searching for questions, searching for answers.
She is known for her ferocity and she finds herself being called upon each time she sat too still.

Fire was warm and jovial.
But to get her in that state, one has to keep her calm.
Once enraged, she burns and burns.
She brings with her both civilization and destruction of civilization.
Her passion drives her forward. When contained, she can lit up a room. When set free, she roams far.
At the end of the day, she always gets what she wants.

Warer was the one always in control. Flowing, but in control.
She can't be left stagnant.
She is regal in her movement and certainly not an element you would want to cross.
Not a character that will hold back, as you can guess.
You will do well to recognize her ability to be fluid in her stillness.

When the four of them get together, it is truly a convention of all sorts!
With Fire and Water crackling and hissing at one another, Wind fanning Fire out in an attempt to calmly soothe her.
The elements blend wel together, filling in each other's gaps and filling up each other's voids.
Assembled together, they rule Nature, rocking shores with their collective presence.

The Two Stars That Almost Collided But Didn't

Amongst the speckled stars, they were the only ones zooming forth, standing out in between their static neighbours.

It happened quickly.
They were headed towards one another, like polar magnet dust.
It was unplanned and it was inevitable.

The other stars silently flickered, watching in mute interest.

The two stars inched closer. 
They were both moving in constant acceleration.
If they kept going at the same pace, they will clash into each other's embrace and then - SUPERNOVA!

There will be explosions and mini-explosions.
There will be sparks and fire everywhere.
They'll morph into shooting stars.

Their audience kept still.
Waiting for the impact to create a show to entertain them.

They are fractions away from one another now.
There's only the sound of breath being held.
And then - nothing.

Turns out they were on different heights the whole time.
Aligned, but on different tracks.

(Koh Lipe)

(Image : The Night The Stars Fell To The Sea,
Courtesy of Cedric Canard)


I am writing this with some salt between the pages.
If you're wondering what that means - don't.
It's not an ancient proverb by any means.
It simply means that not all things mean something.

"Grass will always be greener on the other side."
Not necessarily so.
It's just a matter of perception, yes?
It's human tendency, after all, to be constantly chasing 'something better'. 
The problem lies in the theory that equates 'something better' with 'something i dont have'.