Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Raya Rendezvous

raya was awesome.
for me, its that magical time of the year, where my entire keluarga kembangan will gather and show their true loud, crazy nature
(which in turn, explains a lot why im loud and retarded)

My family can be quite a nutty bunch.
This one night, my uncle (laden in his kain pelikat cap Gajah Duduk) was trying to coax my cousin to make him some coffee. The moment he suggested it, all the other men in the house started ordering drinks as if we were all smack in the middle of a mamak stall.
My cousin played dead and pretended to be asleep (which didnt work as she was chattering like there's no tomorrow just two seconds before).

Determined to have his coffee brewed especially by my cousin, my uncle attempted to drag her all the way to the kitchen. She was kurus and ringan, so my uncle pulled one of her hands while she played dead. It was like watching a rapist trying to dispose a fat girl's body into the nearest semak.

He got as far as about 5 steps when my cousin 'woke up' and tugged on his kain pelikat, exposing some really uncalled-for view. After a few rounds of hyena shrieks, the uncle then fixed his kain and continued dragging my cousin. The same dragging-kain pelikat tugging scene went on for about three rounds.

That's three times the obscenity if you cant count. Pahh.
(sorry no pics. takut ada underage kids di sini)

i will post other raya pics instead. :)

My sister(aka my personal maid) and I yg tgh bajet jadi stewardess. Mind you, she's only 13 and she revels in the fact that she's the hottest in the family. Dah 18 nanti tak tahu lah mcm mana. Hee.

That's the entire family.
This is my uncle. Castello wannabe. 'Nuff said.

Castello main masak masak.

Session main mercun and bunga api.

my Ayahyop is a photographer.. But we totally didnt expect him to carry his SLR to the graveyard to visit my late Grandpa. inappropriate ke tak ikhlas? LOL.

Ini Alya, Ayahyop's daughter. Anak Bunian. LOLS.

ok. itu saja. bye bye for now.

The Day that Beatles wrote about me

using only song names from ONE ARTIST,
cleverly answer these questions.
try not to repeat a song title.
it's a lot harder than you think.

pick your artist:
The Beatles
(main tipu sebab they have plenty of albums and songs for me to choose from)

are you male or female:
I'm a Loser

describe yourself:
Here There and Everywhere
(tanya siapa siapa, ini betul. saya bersepah)

how do you feel about yourself:
Twist and Shout
(the latter is especially true. heheh)

describe where you currently live:
I'll Cry Instead
(tak percaya, tanya anyone from UTP)

if you could go anywhere, where would you go:
The Night Before
(just so my feet can land on a deserving crotch)

your favourite form of transportation:
Yellow Submarine

your best friend is:
Another Girl

your favourite colour is:
(Beatles tak buat lagu called Purple. Sheesh)

what’s the weather like:

favourite time of day:
Good Morning, Good Morning

if your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby
(ok. bajet. haha)

what is life to you:
Happiness is a Warm Gun

what is the best advice you have to give:
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey

if you could change your name, what would it be:
Her Majesty
(okay. besok nak pergi Jabatan Pendaftaran. Tukar nama jadi Her Majesty bt Ishak. Nice.)

your favorite food is:
Maggie Mae
(LOL. dekat dekat la tu dengan Maggi Mee kan?)

thought for the day:
Too Much Monkey Business

how I would like to die:
When I'm Sixty Four

my soul’s present condition:
You Cant Do That
(ini monologue dalaman caused by emotional damage. tak perlu faham)

my motto:
You Never Give Me Your Money
(duit raya. hint hint.)

Soalan cepumas di atas telah dicuri secara ikhlas dari Dehaq. :) Saya buat sebab sangap. Siapa yang tengah rasa bosan tahap nak langgar Bangla just for the fun of it, i suggest that you do this instead. Sekian Terima Kasih. Selamat Hari Raya.

mahu letak gambar raya dengan kawan2 tapi kawan2 tak bagi lagi gambar2 gembira. hint hint.

a few nights back,
i had a massive raya rendezvous with my lovers
(tipu je ni. saya loyal ok. lovers adalah kawan2 cinta hati *ayat cover*)

from one house to another
dari melantak macam tak pernah jumpa roti jala sebelum ni,
to bersila dalam bulatan dekat living room sambil mengutuk orang2 yang tak best (bulan puasa dah habis, all the more reason to lash out heheh),
to main Dance Dance Revolution
dan berdance dance revolution for real ;)

The whole day was phenomenal.
I met Alisha, a childhood friend (high school, blh la kot kira childhood kan. hehe) yang zomg! lama gila tak jumpa!!
I met Bo (whose size of hair is starting to scare me) who forced me to be on camera.

Free food
Free drinks
Reunion with friends.
What more could i ask for?
(oh ada. nak gambar raya please!)

Monday, September 28, 2009

merah sebab marah

shit happens.
and when they do,
you tend to expect that your friends will be there to help you fix em up or at least help you recover.

but when "friends" are the ones who shat in the first place,
the trust and respect gets flushed away along with them.

screw you.
thanks for 4 years worth of memories.
and one night that ruined them all.
but no thanks.

you can now take your shit back.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Annoying People Yang Patut Kena Sembur Ridsect Dalam Mulut PART TWO


orang keempat yang patut ditembak
orang yang beritahu ending movie/buku

Picture this.
You have been waiting for an entire year to watch 'Inglourious Basterds'.
(well, it has been said that it's Tarantino's best yet)
Each time you watch a trailer,
or see the Coming Soon poster in the cinemas near you,
or happen to watch its advert.
You get shivers.
And you get all excited.

Finally, it premieres in your local theatre.
And you bought the tickets for the second week of the show,
(because the ones for the first week was sold out).

One day before watching the movie,
some party pooper bastard told you what happened at the end of the movie.
"oh mamat ini blablablabla. hahaha.tak budget dowh ending macam tu"

Dia memang sengaja buat tak budget.
That's what people call the element of surprise.
And with you going around, popping everyone's surprise balloon,
tak guna la dia buat twist at the end of the movie.

Same goes for books.
I hate it when im at the last few chapters,
and then some morons open their mouth and go
"oh you know what happened at the end when blablablablabla? It's insane, isnt it?"

Kau lagi insane.

Maybe you dont think they deserve aerosol spray poisoning their body.
But im the kind who CANNOT read a book that i already know the ending to,
no matter how good the book is.
Yeah, im that freak.
So aku memang tak blh blah kalau orang mcm ni ada.
Potong stim to the power of four!

orang kelima yang patut ditembak
orang yang ambil benda orang lain and claim that its theirs

be it boyfriends/girlfriends.
or be it Mee Ruski Tomyam.
be it rare songs from rare bands.
or ideologies and thoughts.

shall i explain?

contoh number satu: bf/gf
(siapa nak spray Ridsect dlm mulut saya,sila kan)
The thief will dengan tenang hati nya, knowing that the person they are hitting on is already attached to someone else.
Oh it doesnt matter, flirt je anyway.
They go all out,
be everything that the current spouse is not.

tak kisah la whether or not they manage to curi the bf/gf.
its the sin that counts.

you already know itu boyfriend orang lain.
you KNOW that you are not supposed to hurung mamat tu macam lalat.
yet you do it anyway.
bawak la orang tu ke sana sini.
if you at least acknowledge the existance of his gf takpe lagi.
ni tak.
nampak gf dia, sila buat bodoh.
tegur mamat tu sahaja and biar kan gf dia terpinga pinga rasa mcm third wheel.

hello, kalau ye pun nak jadi bf stealer
at least do it with style baby.

contoh number dua: Mee Ruski Tomyam
(any other kind of food pun bolehh)

Jenis yang ini beroperasi bila roommate dia baru pergi grocery shopping.
Bawak blk bilik 4 bulan punya stock of food.
Time roommate takde kat bilik, dia pun rummage through the food,
pick the ones yang paling best
dan agihkan kat orang lain mcm bayar zakat dekat orang miskin.

What theyll get in return?
Orang lain akan rasa mcm
'oh baik nya dia ni. bagi aku Ferrero Rocher satu papan. Generous betul!'

Padahal it wasnt theirs to give away in the first place.
(ok. jgn start assume yang bukan bukan. roommate saya tak buat mcm ni.
dia baik. housemates saya semua baik. dan iya, ini ayat bodek.)

contoh number tiga:
rare songs from rare bands
(bunyi mcm Ray Bans. haha)

it sounds like nothing much.
you listen to a friend's playlist.
you've never heard them before, but lagu tu semua best.

kau pun bawak la keluar thumbdrive, copy lagu tu.
lepas tu bila orang dengar lagu tu in ur playlist,
kau claim that kau bersusah payah download lagu tu kat rumah
(FYI ini jadi issue kat UTP sebab dekat UTP, jangan kata nak download lagu, nak download font seketul pun susah)

Padahal kawan kau painstakingly downloaded those songs masa dia kat rumah.
Penat penat dia cari rare bands yang best
dan masih belum keluar dekat mainstream radio.
Lepas tu kau suka suka je mengaku macam kau yang cool discover lagu diorg.

Satu perkataan.
Eh.kejap.dua perkataan lah.
Sore Loser.

contoh number empat:
apa tadi?
oh. ideologies and thoughts.

i believe enough has been said on this.
plagiarism sucks.
end of story.

Okay, id better get back to my report if im planning to celebrate Raya this year.
There will be a PART THREE to this, after raya maybe.
(memang tak la time raya pun i nak blog kan! ill be with my ketupats and rendangs and dodols!)
So til then.

love love.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

MTV Video Music Awards (just because i think, like Russell Brand, i can say whatever i want, and sorta get away with it)

OK, i dont.
OK, that's another lie. I do.
I did lah, at least.

What does Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

Haa. Ha. Ha.
ok serious tak kelakar.
(i swear it was hilarious when he was still alive)

But when i heard Madonna's speech about MJ,
terus tak jadi nak gelak tak ikhlas.
a little ikhlas tak ikhlas teardrop pulak took its place.
I wasnt even such a big fan,
but that, my friends, was a powerful speech.

And as you can see,
i have a bit of an obsession towards Russell Brand.
(dari last year kot dah blog about him and his statements)

If it was about bashing Bush and Jonas Brother's virginity issue,
this year he went all :

Lady Gaga is performing here tonight!!
How can we celebrate 20
09 without that fantastic woman?
Now, there has been lots of mudslingin' and rumor mongering and rubbish, people saying that she's a hermaphrodite.

I think its a disgrace that a woman cannot be successful, sexy and have an aggresive sexuality without people saying "Oh, she must be a bloke."

That is sexist!

And i would like to condemn the male dominated media for their disgusting treatment of this incredible woman.

And if you havent worked it out by now, yeah,

i'm trying to fuck her.

But you cant read those in a monotonic tone!
It HAS to be in Russell Brand's voice,
complete with his accents
and his crotch-enhancing pants attitude yang mcm tgh on 4 different drugs at one go!

Russell Brand and his endless provocative statements.
That's why i adore him so much I guess.
(i secretly wish that i'll be able to say something as honest, albeit crude, in front of the world)

Though I'd have to say,
i give +37 Irony Points (WTF?) to Lady Gaga for her speech:
"this is for God, and for the gays!"
(pun intended, i think)
(oh. and that weird red mask thingy she wore to accept her award makes her look as if she works for Alam Flora)

The performances were awesome.
I first made uncalled for bitchy remarks about Pink's perut buncit and ridiculous getup, but i took them back as soon as i saw her swingin' performance!
(Gempak dowh lu. At least we all now know that should the community decide to isolate Pink one day, she can always make a living by joining a circus group)

And Beyonce made me go woo-oh-oh!
The bisexual part in me (under the influence of Brand and Gaga - ok ini tipu lagi sekali. perempuan2, tak payah sms saya sekejap lagi ajak berdating di bawah bulan purnama. tapi kalau anda sangat hot, sila tinggal kan phone number. lepas bulan puasa saya might just call anda blk.) made me shiver and tingle looking at her wiggle and do her African Princess bit.

And one thing that i have to say about Muse.

Should i comment about Kanye West's drunken act?
Tak payah kot kan.
Jangan malas sangat, pergi Google!

It kinda looked like a setup to me though.
I mean, shouldnt they have like floor managers and shit to stop him from barging on the stage in the first place?
*raises eyebrow*
ah who cares.

So, yeah,
pardon me for rambling on and on about MTV Video Music Awards.
I was just trying to find an excuse to procrastinate from doing my assignment and studying for my test.

p/s : i think i would be 136 years old, baru Malaysia will have the same standard of awards macam MTV VMA.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

pembelajaran sedang dilakukan

ok. rasanya macam dah lama tak tulis post pasal pembelajaran saya di menara gading.
(ok. thats a lie. i dont think there ever were a single post about my subjects in here).

and macam jealous pula baca blog orang orang yang letak course code subject kat blog.
(unfortunately, i cant do the same cuz ive never been rajin enough to find out those VAB3412 thingamajig)

So today, im going to break its virginity (eh, eh).

Raya is in 5 days time.
My birthday is in *ehem ehem* time.
(hoho. ni konon konon nak cakap saya tak pancing suruh ingat. sebenarnya nak korang buat research cari pengisi ehem ehem yang tepat!)

And yet the workload is driving me nuts!

Nobody's fault.
It's all mine.
padan muka,siapa suruh tangguh.
(shuuushh. orang lain diam. saya sorang je blh padan kan muka sendiri. orang lain buat, saya sembur dengan ridsect)

I have got :
1) one assignment for Structural Dynamics
2) one assignment for Design of Offshore Structures
3) two assignments for Ocean & Coastal Engineering
4) two tests to study for
5) some Final Year Report to clean up on

all has to be handed in before the raya break. and considering im planning to balik on Thursday, that would pretty much mean i wont get to sleep this 2 days.

(siapa nak belanja White Coffee Ice, angkat tangannnn dengan penuh ikhlas!!)

Annoying People Yang Patut Kena Sembur Ridsect Dalam Mulut

im giving up trying to study Design of Offshore Structures.
The oil rigs can go calculate their own tension for all i care.
(angkat white flag)

in order to destress,
i have decided that i am going to pick on people to bash on.
and as the title suggest,
these are the kinds of people whose mouth i would love to spray insecticide aerosol in
(failing to find one, pepper spray would do just as fine).

and no, before you ask me why i'm so angry,
let me clarify that im happy and dandy,
im just doing this because im a sarcastic bitch.

orang pertama yang patut ditembak:
orang yang cakap gebang

they will brag about unnecessary things that people dont even give a fuck about pun actually.
when you talk to them, you'll find out that theyre good in EVERYTHING.
cakap je, semua diorg hebat.

nak cakap pasal photography? they take the best damned picture.
camera diorang yang paling high end,
their equipments are the best there is in the market,
people would pay them a fortune to take photos.
(tapi bila tengok their portfolio, takde la lawa mana pun gambar. biasa je)

nak cakap pasal music?
oh diorang la paling knowledgable.
sebut je band apa, semua dia tahu.
diorang dengar semua lagu, dari Billy Talent sampai Britney Spears, gossip semua dalam tangan.
and about instrument, jangan cakap la.
Mereka ni goreng lagi hebat dari Jimi Hendrix.
yang main bass, apa yang dia tak blh buat,
slap pop just name it.
bila cerita kat orang about the effects that theyre capable of pulling,
woahh! hot-daymn.
(buat bunyi guitar pakai mulut je boleh la bang. main betul betul tengok? nak tune gitar sendiri pun tak reti)

pendek cerita,
life diorang lah yang paling best.
awek paling hot.
boyfriend paling kacak.
rumah paling banglo and mahal.
barang nak yang designer goods aje
(padahal macam orang tak tau je itu imitation. bukan semua orang noob, kau nak tipu yes?)

Wahai manusia,
its okay not to be perfect in everything you do.
if you are sincere enough, people will love you despite the flaws.
ni, cakap letup, last last orang benci juga kan? :)

orang kedua yang patut ditembak:
orang yang ada BO tapi suka pinjam baju orang lepas tu tak basuh for an entire sem sampai baju berkulat

true story.
kalau anda ada masalah hygienic, takpe lagi.
but please la. take a hint when people find an excuse to tutup hidung whenever u go and hug them.
duduk diam diam and tak perlu peluk orang kalau anda ada body odour.

and even if you adore your friend's baju and intend to buat baju tu jadi harta,
you dont have to perap the shirt yang dah drenched in ur sweat macam la nak marinate ayam buat BBQ.
the smell travels ok?
im pretty sure the owner would rather have you just tell them that you dont intend to pulang kan the baju balik.

(okay okay. saya mengaku. yang ini terpersonal sikit. heheh)

orang ketiga yang patut ditembak
orang yang buat uncalled-for bitchy remarks

"Eh kenapa hidung you besar aa?"
"Kau cepat mengah bila naik tangga sebab kau gemuk sangat kot"
"Ala, saya tak kisah pun tak pergi birthday party awak semalam. Saya dengar orang cakap bukan nya best sangat pun."
"OMG. U tak faham lagi ke equation ni? Gila lembap!"
"Theme untuk dinner batch ni bodoh dan tak sesuai. To the person who wrote this blogpost, (a much vulgar Malay word for ass) kau besar. Aku tak nak datang dinner ni"

Seriously wei?
you werent taught good manners ke as a child?

what do you get for being such an asshole?
oh well then , i hope all the dosa gives you just as much kepuasan then.

i gotta run to class now.
I'll come back and continue the second bit.

Monday, September 14, 2009

and the rabbit mounts and humps

oh no,
you are not gonna see pictures and videos of rabbits going at it.
if that's what you've come to look for,
you came to the wrong site.
(dengan segala hormatnya, you can go away play Scrabble someplace else now)

i was under medication a few days ago.
and apparently you can see the true nature of people under its influence.
you know what they say about the first child's syndrome kan?
Tak nak kalah, degil and has a tendency to get everyone to listen to them.

well, it turns out that i felt a sudden urge to wolf down a McChicken.

Tasha : Korang, i nak makan McChicken.
Friends : Ok, ok, kejap lagi kita pergi makan ok?
Tasha : Tak nak. I nak makan sekarang.
Friends : Later la sha. Tunggu half an hour je. Kejap lagi kita pergi la sahur McD.
Tasha : TAK NAK. i rasa nak makan sekarang. i nak McChicken!
Friends : Iyee. Tau la u nak makan. Tapi kejap lagi la ok? Bila semua orang dah ready kita pergi la ramai ramai.
Tasha : Tak mau! I want it NOW! I tak suruh korang teman pun kot. I can go down and get it myself!
Friends : Sha, you cant even stand properly, let alone walk without hobbling, mcm mana u nak turun pergi McD. Tunggu la kejaaaaaap je lagi okay?
Tasha : I cakap tak nak, tak nak laaa. I tak rasa nak tunggu. I want to makan McChicken sekarang. I boleh jalan laaa. Korang tak payah teman.

After a few more minutes of arguing, somebody finally went down to get it for me seeing as i really was not in a fit state to stand- let alone walk.

(oh kawan kawan. sorry perangai degil and tak nak kalah saya got to you. hoho.)
(To those yang nak apply jadi boyfriend, please be aware yang saya ni hard-headed and memang tak nak kalah. Betul, tak tipu.)

A friend then told me. Hmmh. I saw your true nature semalam. Degil, tak nak kalah, banyak cakap.

(Friends, you should have had more faith in me. I was drowsy on meds, bukannya baru consume aphrodisiac. XD )


i never got the chance to know him.
and now i never will.

and yes i never made an impact on his life
and neither has (had?) he, on mine
but i shed big drippy tears nevertheless

it was more of a combined mourning session
it just struck me that
perhaps growing up aint what i thought it was
friends got married
friends leaving for good

and there i was
thinking that we were all still too young
and wont be harmed
but hey, death doesnt give an eff about your age

its sad
so sad
(ceyh, ambik lyrics Blue pulak)

(tahun ni baju raya saya tiga tiga warna hitam)
satu untuk Eunice.
satu untuk Sara.
satu untuk Izmir.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

ok tak mahu jadi sore loser tapi kena juga cakap - MANCHESTER BODOH.

ok tak.
man city main agak hebat
(saying this with clenched teeth)


ok lets begin right from the start shall we?
no wait.
i changed my mind.
sakit hati kalau cerita dari awal.

but i despise Adebayor because when with Arsenal, he played like a jackass.
Nampak sangat main sebab duit.

And the fact that he purposely ran across the field just to buat that Ronaldo slide in front of Arsenal fans, is just plain bongok.
Dude, what have you got to prove?
Kau dah score kot, tak payah laaa.
There's a reason why diorg letak fans kat belakang tiang gol.
so that tak payah struggle nak lari jauh2 kalau ye pun nak slide.

Dah la kau calar kan muka Van Persie.
(kan dah kurang handsome dah dia)
Padan muka kena ban dua game.

But the game was indeed disappointing.
Yeah, i know Wenger is more for a beautiful game rather than it being just a showbiz.
Tapi kalau game mesmerizing but kalah jugak nak buat apa Encik Arsene?

Arshavin was not around.
(groin injury lagi. patutnya biar Diaby je suffer from that lama lama. tak de la buat rookie mistakes)
and they shouldnt have attempted that formation pun without him there.

1-1 blh la accept lagi.
At the point when we were down 4-1,
i half laughed, half merungut:
Ini up sikit je dari Burnley ni.

Tapi 4-2 is just too much weyh.
Too much.

Ah benci lah.
Kan aku dah rugi Dunhill 20.
takmau bet lagi lepas ni.

p/s : to those yang prone to murtad-ness (you know who you are), tolong lah hold on and dont burn your jerseys just yet. :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

wrong number

Ini adalah extract dari phone conversation saya 5 saat yang lalu. Watak watak ada lah seperti berikut:
Orang Pelik (OP)
Saya yang tak berapa nak pelik (T)

OP : Haluu. Boleh cakap dengan Nadia?
T : Err sorry. I think u got the wrong number.
OP : Nadia ada nadia?
T : Takde, ni bukan Nadia. You got the wrong number.
OP : Ni siapa?
T : Ini bukan Nadia.
OP : Bukan bukan. I nak cakap dengan Maria.
T : Ini bukan Maria jugak. You got the wrong number.
OP : Then ni siapa?
T : Err. tak payah tahu kot.
OP : Apasal pulak tak payah tahu?
T : Because im not Nadia. or Maria. Im not the person you're calling for. YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER ! (part ni kena kuat sikit in case this freak is deaf in addition to being pelik)
OP : Ye la tapi nama u apa.

*line disconnected*

And i thought i could then get on with my work. Tak jugak. An sms came in:


(err. macam aku kisah.)

Followed by another one:

Weh.. angkatla. i nk ngorat u.. kwn u pn boley..

And another:

Nk duit raya x? xnk sudey

Ni pick up line zaman bila ni?
Malaysians are getting weirder by the day.
Seriously, tactic tak blh bodoh lagi ke?

Arsenal - Man City

After the last rumble with MU,
i half considered hiding under my duvet
(and tutup sebelah mata)
while watching the game with Manchester City.

Though that would mean watching the match in frustration,
as the wireless kat campus ni unreliable.
Oh, and not to forget,
I might just catch Adebayor's cocky ass getting kicked
(im hoping, literally)
on the field.
(though he has been the best-scorer for Man City setakat ni. Cis. Masa dengan Arsenal nak main bodoh bodoh je.)

Plus, Toure would be playing captain for the match.
The drama factor is too yummy to pass.

After the few monologues with self (and this blogpost),
I have decided that I, Fithri Natasha, will be at the Mamak place (exact location has not been identified) wearing the jersey dengan penuh hopeful.


I will see you there.

a geeky past

it's sad.
but sometimes, it's inevitable.
and by it, i mean changes.

i cant help but feel that just yesterday i was only 16.
in a few blinks (ok obviously it has been more than a few but it sure felt like a lot less than that) of an eye,
5 years has already gone by.

(fuck. tak nak accept that im no longer a teenager)

i looked at my old photos a few days back.
and i laughed. hard.

because like it or not,
i have to admit that i looked like a cross between an Indonesian maid
(which was why i was so ashamed to bear the name Kartika back then agaknya)
(oh. and memang tak la nak tunjuk korang gambar Zaman Kegemilangan tu. hahahaha. Nehi nehi)
and a geeky bookworm yang budget best.

i guess we tend to overlook our past and forget all about it.
forget what we were
and the person we used to be.
i forgot.

but today, it came to haunt me back, those memories.
perhaps they weren't such great memories
and just because, i struggled hard to push them at the back of my mind.

i found my diary from back when i was 11.
there were only 20 pages all in all.
(nasib baik tak tebal lagi)
but it was enough to make me cringe.
and remember.

sempena bulan baik ni, i have to be honest and admit that the kid i was a decade ago is different.
to say that she was the total opposite of me sekarang would be an understatement.

In fact,
without realizing it,
the 11 year old me is the epitome of everything i despise and complain about nowadays.

The way i conversed
The broken English (hahah! ini paling tak boleh blah. Sangat tak blh blah sampai tak rasa mcm nak tunjuk example)
The self delusions
The strong desire to be liked by everyone
The fact that i did not have my own opinion
The sad realization that i could not stand up for myself

(senyum sikit bila teringat)

it's sad to remember that i was really pathetic back then.
but what
was even lagi sedih is that i have no recollections of experiencing the things that i wrote about in the diary.

kosong habis.
tak ingat langsung what it was like to be 11.
or 16. or 17.
apa apa lah.
serious. zilch.

i guess,
for a very long while in my teenage years,
i spent too much of my time concentrating on my silly conquest of making myself likable and yearning for people to like me and think that im worthy of their time,
that i guess i sort of forgot what was really important.

monologue dalaman:
So yeah Tasha,
maybe (aku kata MAYBE),
you're not so much of a loser as you were back then

but you have also successfully turned your back against everything that you ever believed in.

Berbaloi ke Sha, berbaloi ke?

(oh saya tak bitter sekarang. nor am i angry with myself. cuma, kadang kadang these reflections are necessary to bring you back to earth no? *senyum* )

Then again, changes are necessary in order to grow.
(haa. bila tak cukup tidur, mula la kau keluar cliches budget philosophical kau tu kan Tasha. hehehe)



Miss Twin Sister (konon konon, padahal muka tak sama langsung) that i'll love for ever and ever.
You're an adult now
(whoo whee)

Living under the same roof with you for years now,
I cant imagine what it would be like if i had never known you.
For all the advices,
and all the times you listened (to my repetitive problems and stories)
for all the great bimbo moments,
for all the heartbreaks and all the good times.
I love you for everything

Happy birthday Ya.
To a great person,
with a great mind,
here's to a great year ahead (and many more to follow)
Loadsa hugs,
from another great person (heheh. nak jugak. :P)

(sorry Ya, my birthday wish mcm photocopied je tiap tiap tahun. Ngee.)


Not a single moment since you left, had you gone forgotten
(cheyyh, ckp macam u pergi mana je kan.heheh)

The dramas in my life aint half as fun without you around.
I cant wait for you to come back and have a big whooping birthday celebration.

But for the time being,
i hope you're kicking ass
(and anything else that can be kicked)
all the way in Manchester.

Have a great one doll!
I love youuuuu sangat sangat!
Balik cepat!!!!!!


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

what is wrong with Malaysian artist?

ini hasil lepak kat mamak lama sangat.

each time dengar lagu, have you ever thought about nama nama band who plays the songs?
you might not realize this(or maybe you do but you just dont give a rat's ass about it), but people of the West actually gives pretty bangang names to represent themselves.

and i was just wondering why we Malaysians dont do the same.

ok cuba take the direct translation of these band names.
eh kejap kejap.
tak payah la, nanti panjang pulak comment korg nak type.
ill translate terus so u can see how ughh dumb it sounds like.

1. Arctic Monkeys : Monyet Artik
2. Funeral For A Friend : Pengebumian Untuk Kawan
3. Coldplay : Main Sejuk
4. The Who? : Siapa?
5. Vampire Weekend : Pontianak Hujung Minggu
6. Modest Mouse : Tikus Rendah Diri
7. Radiohead : Kepala Radio
8. Red Hot Chilli Peppers : Merah Panas Cili Lada
9. Blink 182 : Kelip 182
10. Garbage : Sampah
11. Third Eye Blind : Mata Ketiga Buta
12. Silverchair : Kerusi Perak
13. Avenged Sevenfold : Balas Dendam Tujuh Lipatan
14. Creed : Akidah (kan? ke Tauhid?)
15. Death Cab for Cutie : Teksi Kematian untuk Si Comel

Point is, why cant Malaysian come up with such stupid random names and walk away with it?
Letak la nama Topi Ajaib ke, Buku Nota ke, Kertas Zig Zag ke.

Are we too insecure to be able to pull off something as stupid?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

how to be a good blogger. or not.

nota kepala: ini bukan untuk mengutuk siapa siapa. (ok, mungkin untuk perli perli sikit, tapi bukan kutuk, betul. XD)

saya jalan jalan
(sebab kalau saya tidur, confirm tak bangun dan miss class Ocean & Coastal Engineering buat minggu yang ke 7)

dan terdetik sedikit rasa annoyed
bila jumpa sedikit incongruities pada beberapa blog yang saya singgah
(ceh, dah la singgah blog orang tak dijemput, lepas tu sibuk nak comment, mcm orang tanya je)

saya pun kadang kadang buat benda yang sama pada blog saya.
(so padan muka kepada diri sendiri sebab jadi annoying juga)
tapi mungkin hari ni saya pissy lebih jadi saya rasa mcm nak comment.
kepada yang terasa, takpat nak tolong jack.

dosa nombor satu

letak gambar yang pretty much consist of satu jenis rupa.
same pose.
same fake smile.
wahai encik, perlu ke letak gambar dengan expression yang sama?
baju je tukar tukar.
kalau kamu nak senang, apa kata main saja game Barbie yang boleh tukar2 baju tu. boleh paste muka kamu yang comel macam Shin Chan tu dekat muka Barbie, lepas tu alternate la baju, seluar, mini skirt, semua pun boleh. nak letak accessories pun takpe.
saya selalu tengok adik saya buat.

saya faham kamu suka tengok gambar kamu yang comel kenyit2 mata tu
(iyaaa, cuuute sangat. rasa nak cubit2 pipi. kadang2 rasa nak lempang pun ada) tapi kamu juga tak perlu la letak statements kat bawah gambar tu untuk fish for such compliments.

kalau orang rasa kamu comel, dia akan cakap dengan rela hati, tak payah pancing pancing.
ini contoh teladan.

Saya dan Cik XYZ di tepi pantai. Comel kan kami pakai topi sama. Haa, yang gambar no. 2 tu pulak saya tunduk sikit dan Cik XYZ dongak sikit, supaya nampak lebih anggun. Gambar terakhir tu kami buka topi, supaya nampak rambut kami yang bersinar macam baru lepas buat treatment. Cantik kan kitorang kan? kan? Comel kan?

Aduyaaai. Tak perlu kot.
(menggunakan ilmu hisab, saya rasa saya pernah commit dosa ni dlm 471 kali. kamu berapa?)

dosa nombor dua

One more thing concerning the pictures.
Blog macam blog saya memang kurang menarik nak compare dengan blog kamu.

Blog saya tulisan panjang berjela merepek repek. tapi kedekut gambar.

Penat orang nak scroll down segala, tapi nampak tulisan saja.

Takde pun pemandangan menarik.

Ye ye saya tahu.

Tapi perlu ke setiap apa yang kamu buat dalam satu hari tu kena discrapbookkan?

Kalau nak cerita petang tadi mak kamu suruh k
amu cuci botol susu adik, tak perlu la struggle suruh maid kamu tangkap kan gambar kamu tengah cuci bottle just for the sake of nak letak gambar tu kat blog.
Unless, of course, the title of your blog is 'Cara Cara Membasuh Botol Susu Adik'.
Haa, kalau yang itu, saya terima.

(maaf takde contoh di sini. saya tak pernah tangkap gambar tengah cuci botol susu adik saya. :P)

dosa nombor tiga

oh! nak tunjuk gambar makanan!
dengan segala hormatnya dipersilakan!

especially time bulan puasa ni, boleh saya berzina mata tengok makanan sedap sedap yang anda baru discover/penat lelah masak untuk berbuka semalam.

tapi rasanya, tak perlu kot gambar ayam KFC dan fries McD pun nak tunjuk.
Im pretty sure everyone in Malaysia the universe knows what they look like.

semalam i makan ni, sedap okaay. ayam goreng mak i masak pun tak sedap macam ni. u'alls pernah rasa tak ayam KFC sedap mcm mana? mesti tak pernah kan? meh i tunjuk u'alls rupa ayam KFC yang i makan tadi mcm mana. mesti u'alls rasa mcm nak makan jugak.

(apa kata fikir masak masak before tekan butang Add Image tu hmm? *senyum sinis*)

dosa nombor empat

kamu pergi comment kat blog orang,
kemudian tinggal kan cenderahati berupa link blog kamu,
dan suruh dengan (konon konon) nonchalant nya supaya orang visit kamu pula.

Sebab kamu struggle bakk invite segala bala,
maka orang pun singgah lah
(courteous Malaysian kan?)

tapi sampai2, rupanya blog kamu detail lagi nak compare kan dengan diari saya masa umur 11 tahun.

8.00 alarm clock berbunyi
8.05 tekan snooze button
8.07 alarm bunyi lagi, kali ini buat bodoh
8.10 tekan snooze lebih kuat dari tadi, tanda marah dekat jam yang memekak
8.13 alarm bunyi. hempas jam loceng ke lantai
8.14 menguap

weii serious.
aku tak mati kalau tak tahu.

dosa nombor lima

buat review product, tapi copypaste word by word from the product's website.
Cik Kiah, might as well you save yourself the trouble,
dan letak saja link website tu di page kamu.
tak payah nak kena highlight la, tekan Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V.
buat susah saja.

dosa paling besar

plagiat blog orang.
mahu lihat contoh?
ini penulis penulis yang saya suka (im not the only one, kalau tak takde la org nak tiru blog mereka kan?) dan telah diplagiat.
nasib baik mereka dua dua pandai menjatuhkan tupai yang tak berapa nak pandai melompat :)
tekan la link kalau mahu keterangan lanjut.
(takkan nak suruh saya cut paste masuk sini kot)

Hanis Zalikha

the one thing that i cant understand is:
bukan tujuan blog tu untuk penulis express themselves ke?
oh bukan lah, saya yang salah rupanya.
blog tu untuk nampak cool.
dan since kau rasa diri sendiri tak cukup cool,
apa kata tiru orang lain yang cool dan pura pura that their words are actually yours?

hey kamu.
apa kata kamu pura pura pergi mati?
lebih sesuai kot.

saya dah habis mengomel.
puas hati aku.

nota kaki : i understand that you might go all 'its my effing blog. biar la aku nak tulis apa pun. its my freedom of speech okay!!' dengan penuh marahnya. yes it's true. theres freedom of speech and theres also this thing called looking like an idiot. ;) cheers.

oh. dan biar la saya.
this is MY freedom of speech.
cheers lagi sekali.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

sujud syukur sampai dahi lebam

This might not sound much to you strangers.
But the people close to me would know how much I'd KILL for this.
(weyy tak tipu. kalau bukan bulan puasa, serious sanggup bunuh orang)

Tapi rupa nya, tak payah bunuh siapa siapa.


Intern dapat 4 flat!!!!!

You have no idea how much ive:
played the sympathy card

Just to get by.
You have no idea.

p/s : saya nangis tersedu sedan sebab serious tak sangka.
pp/s : ok, sekarang boleh rai kan dengan main Zuma sambil lap air mata.

bulan puasa = lapar

im sure you guys had one of these back when you were toddlers
(atau mungkin sampai sekarang you still cant figure out how to ride a bike and decided to buy one of these to practice on. hey, we dont judge. heheh)

i dont know about you,
but i used to turn my tricycle around,
and buat Ais Batu Campur.

semangat je aku putar putar paddle basikal tu dulu kan.
macam la dapat makan pun ABC tu.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

the shortest french musketeer


Nicolas Perez,
(he's the petite one between Aisha and I)
here's to an awesome 22nd birthday!

(you didnt think i forgot, did you?)

It was truly a joy to know such a goofball
and at least you rarely came up with those French jokes.

It was awesome hanging out with you
and such a joy to swap silly stories
(not to mention bullying you :P)

Thanks for the postcards,
and letters,
and the songs.

You have not gone forgotten.

p/s : take good care of the card and the snowman we got you.

have a great one!


what the heeeelll. bulan puasa laaah. tolong lah.

what the technology gives us access to.

from my tracker, i discovered that some pervert googled 'gambar nude fithri natasha' and was transferred to this blog instead.

gila ke apa.
bulan puasa wei.
kalau tak bulan puasa pun, WHAT THE HELL???

lantak kau lah.
good luck lah cari ye?
kalau jumpa kasi tau.

p/s: muka saya ada muka macam nak tangkap nude pics of myself and then hantar kat boyfriend ke? really? reaaalllyyy? puh-leeze. *geleng kepala*

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

puisi puasa

if you run away
should i chase after you

if you're adamant about your silence
should i talk to you anyway

if you broke my heart
should i mend the broken pieces

if you are a ghost
should i let your phantom linger

if you are gone
really, should i miss you?

ahhhh. aku nak merajuk.

saya, dengan ini merajuk.

dan dalam usaha memprotes rambut pendek
(yang lagaknya seperti tak mahu memanjang sampai bila bila),

saya membuat pact tak nak appear dalam mana mana gambar
(tidak kira yang ditangkap oleh DSLR, digital camera, lomo, polaroid, disposable camera mahupun camera mainan yang bila tekan dia squirt air kat tengah2)

sampai rambut tumbuh panjang ke pinggang.

oh lupa,
takde orang kisah.

Arsenal Vs. Manchester United. ughh ughhhh.

The game started off slow.
And as it went on, i thought to myself
"game ni sebenarnya nak assess siapa yang can score the most goals ke, the most kad kuning? Kalau kad kuning macam ada chance je Arsenal nak menang.."

It wasnt lack of faith, mind you.
Just look at them go down one by one.
In the beginning, macam cartoon tahu tak?
Tendang bola sikit, jatuh.
Dribble sikit, injured.

And dont get me started on the yellow cards.
Song, Gallas, Sagna, Eboue, Almunia, Van Persie.
Boy, were we on a roll!

Of course 3 MU players got it as well.
But to double that, Arsenal, really?

The first goal by Arshavin was really really good.
It was fastttt.
He's short but man, can he run!
It was utter brilliance, im telling you.
The satisfaction i got from texting the MU fans:
Wooohooo! *tawaf keliling padang*
was priceless.

At the end of the first half, i even took a picture of the current score on the screen, and mms-ed it to the rivals.

Little did i know, it was gonna backfire on me.

That penalty kick.
Rooney took the chance when Almunia rashly dived for the ball.
Pandai kau berlakon uhh nak dapat penalty.
And they scored, resulting in me receiving the same message that i sent earlier on.

And 5 minutes later, the smart SMAAARTTT (ini namanya sarcasm) diaby messed up.
its too frustrating, i dont even wanna get into it.

and when all hopes seem lost,
and we were praying for some last minute miracle,
Van Persie scored us an equalizer.

I was shouting and screaming out of joy (sambil berdiri ye) in the middle of Rasta,
when tak sampai 5 seconds later,
i saw Wenger's classic (oh itu priceless) expression and terduduk (me, not Wenger).
This was immediately followed by the MU fans to scream and shout,
rubbing it on our faces.

Bodoh la boleh offside pulak.

There goes our winning streak.
Takpe, kita tak pernah kalah lagi main dekat Emirates.
We'll bring it on, wont we.

p/s: serious kalau time tu tgh pakai jersey, boleh break down menangis kat tengah2 alam.