Friday, September 18, 2009

Annoying People Yang Patut Kena Sembur Ridsect Dalam Mulut PART TWO

:continuation:

orang keempat yang patut ditembak
orang yang beritahu ending movie/buku

Picture this.
You have been waiting for an entire year to watch 'Inglourious Basterds'.
(well, it has been said that it's Tarantino's best yet)
Each time you watch a trailer,
or see the Coming Soon poster in the cinemas near you,
or happen to watch its advert.
You get shivers.
And you get all excited.

Finally, it premieres in your local theatre.
And you bought the tickets for the second week of the show,
(because the ones for the first week was sold out).

One day before watching the movie,
some party pooper bastard told you what happened at the end of the movie.
"oh mamat ini blablablabla. hahaha.tak budget dowh ending macam tu"

Bahalol.
Dia memang sengaja buat tak budget.
That's what people call the element of surprise.
And with you going around, popping everyone's surprise balloon,
tak guna la dia buat twist at the end of the movie.
Bongok.

Same goes for books.
I hate it when im at the last few chapters,
and then some morons open their mouth and go
"oh you know what happened at the end when blablablablabla? It's insane, isnt it?"

Kau lagi insane.

Maybe you dont think they deserve aerosol spray poisoning their body.
But im the kind who CANNOT read a book that i already know the ending to,
no matter how good the book is.
Yeah, im that freak.
So aku memang tak blh blah kalau orang mcm ni ada.
Potong stim to the power of four!
Hish.

orang kelima yang patut ditembak
orang yang ambil benda orang lain and claim that its theirs

be it boyfriends/girlfriends.
or be it Mee Ruski Tomyam.
be it rare songs from rare bands.
or ideologies and thoughts.

shall i explain?
okay.

contoh number satu: bf/gf
(siapa nak spray Ridsect dlm mulut saya,sila kan)
The thief will dengan tenang hati nya, knowing that the person they are hitting on is already attached to someone else.
Oh it doesnt matter, flirt je anyway.
They go all out,
be everything that the current spouse is not.

tak kisah la whether or not they manage to curi the bf/gf.
its the sin that counts.

you already know itu boyfriend orang lain.
you KNOW that you are not supposed to hurung mamat tu macam lalat.
yet you do it anyway.
bawak la orang tu ke sana sini.
if you at least acknowledge the existance of his gf takpe lagi.
ni tak.
nampak gf dia, sila buat bodoh.
tegur mamat tu sahaja and biar kan gf dia terpinga pinga rasa mcm third wheel.

hello, kalau ye pun nak jadi bf stealer
at least do it with style baby.
;)

contoh number dua: Mee Ruski Tomyam
(any other kind of food pun bolehh)

Jenis yang ini beroperasi bila roommate dia baru pergi grocery shopping.
Bawak blk bilik 4 bulan punya stock of food.
Time roommate takde kat bilik, dia pun rummage through the food,
pick the ones yang paling best
dan agihkan kat orang lain mcm bayar zakat dekat orang miskin.

Err.
What theyll get in return?
Orang lain akan rasa mcm
'oh baik nya dia ni. bagi aku Ferrero Rocher satu papan. Generous betul!'

Padahal it wasnt theirs to give away in the first place.
(ok. jgn start assume yang bukan bukan. roommate saya tak buat mcm ni.
dia baik. housemates saya semua baik. dan iya, ini ayat bodek.)

contoh number tiga:
rare songs from rare bands
(bunyi mcm Ray Bans. haha)

it sounds like nothing much.
you listen to a friend's playlist.
you've never heard them before, but lagu tu semua best.

kau pun bawak la keluar thumbdrive, copy lagu tu.
lepas tu bila orang dengar lagu tu in ur playlist,
kau claim that kau bersusah payah download lagu tu kat rumah
(FYI ini jadi issue kat UTP sebab dekat UTP, jangan kata nak download lagu, nak download font seketul pun susah)

Padahal kawan kau painstakingly downloaded those songs masa dia kat rumah.
Penat penat dia cari rare bands yang best
dan masih belum keluar dekat mainstream radio.
Lepas tu kau suka suka je mengaku macam kau yang cool discover lagu diorg.

Satu perkataan.
Loser.
Eh.kejap.dua perkataan lah.
Sore Loser.

contoh number empat:
apa tadi?
oh. ideologies and thoughts.

i believe enough has been said on this.
plagiarism sucks.
end of story.

Okay, id better get back to my report if im planning to celebrate Raya this year.
There will be a PART THREE to this, after raya maybe.
(memang tak la time raya pun i nak blog kan! ill be with my ketupats and rendangs and dodols!)
So til then.

love love.
:)

9 comments:

Fatul Akrul Ramli said...

u, selamat hari raya.. nak balik kl dah.. :) .. jgn rindu belog i..

Merissa K. said...

alahai, jealous nya saya kena tinggal. :(

selamat hari rayaaa. ill see u in KL bila report dah siap! XD

(jgn rindu blog, rindu org takpe eh? haha)

cHeRyNa PiReS said...

hahaha...org yg suka claim mende yg dia ada nieh mmg WAJIB kena tembak. especially kat kolej, semua nak bajet cool...bajet happening...nak jd outstanding...so, sume nak kate dielah yg discover something (lagu, buku, bf, movies)

in the end org macam nieh takkan ade originality and tak boleh jd diri sendiri sbb kena hipokrit manjang. tak caya tgk bila dia dah tua...baru nak enjoy macam budak2. bangang kan?

farhazoeLa said...

haha. nice... x sabar nak bace part three.. almost yang u ckp,. happened to me tooo
haha

Igniz said...

you know GI JOE? my friends watched the movie first. i watched it later. during several different occasions, they kept talking about how cool the movie was..one talked about the characters, one talked about the villains, one about the plot..and one about the ending. i kept listening to those 'commentaries' (had to), and i finally knew everything about the movie without even watching it. and when i went to the cinema to watch it, i fell asleep. hehe. spoilers suck!

Lya said...

i didnt watch sepet coz i had wonderful frens who watched it for me n gave a minute by minute analysis of d story right aft they came out of d cinema. best kan? saving 10ringgit.

HA flaming HA.

happy birthday btw :)

-Pinkie ChiRa- said...

shit you lawak gila HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Obefiend Weiland said...

#3

masa aku jadi super server CSI dekat UTP dulu banyak asswipes yang rename file aku letak nama dia

oleh kerana semua SOP dan IRC owner ialah member baik aku pun request dia kena ban dari network

HAHAHAHAH

damn.. its good to be a crony

tapi back then memang kitorang peculiar about bastards yang suka take claim orang punya hard work. good old days... ah utp...........

Merissa K. said...

Cheryna:
the keyword is BAJET. bukan happening yer, BAJET happening. kan kan? :)

Farha:
LOL. im getting a premonition that part 3 mcm intense sikit. heheh.

Lya:
oh tak best tak best. u should get them to give u gantirugi RM10!

Chira:
terima kasih. *curtsies*

Effie:
smart move! LOL. i tak tau apa point diorg buat mcm tu. glamour mana sgt pun copypaste org that way. PFFFT. XD