Arsenal vs. Chelsea

1. Benci tak bila 1st, 2nd, 8th, 28th minute ada goal attempt tapi haram satu pun tak masuk?

2. Benci tak bila match against big teams je tak boleh nak menang? Nak seri pun susah. Kalau setakat menang dengan West Brom Bolton and the likes je buat apaaaaa.

3. Benci tak bila there's nothing to be proud of sebab team sendiri dah bertahun tahun tak menang league?

4. Benci tak bila Arshavin perform the first few games je lepas tu showed the world that he's just an old guy who cant even run properly after the ball?

5. Benci tak bila ball possession dah 62-38 to our advantage pun still tak boleh score lagi?

6. Benci tak bila Chelsea's first goal was by accident terkena kaki sekali heyyyyy WTF MASUK PULAAAAKKKK? Dah lepas tu Drogba boleh bajet Elvis pulak tepi padang. Hotdaymn.

7. Benci tak bila player Arsenal lembik gila sikit sikit nak injured?

8. Benci tak bila tengok Koscielny macam takde contribution? Since his debut, kerja asyik nak injured, lepas tu kena yellow card. Pfft.

9. Benci tak bila ada striker yang tak reti nak tendang bola, reti header je. (read : Chamakh)

10. Benci tak bila Fabregas takde, it's as if semua orang doesnt have a clue what to do and bercamaraderie di atas padang? 

11. Benci tak bila delay journey nak balik UTP just to watch the game tapi kalah bodoh macam ni?

12. Benci tak bila in addition to all these, ada suara suara sumbang bahan Arsenal dengan semangat sebab pergi tengok bola dekat area Chelsea's supporters?

BENCI.

I repeat. BENCI. 

p/s : tapi at least Arsenal tak kalah dengan Blackpool dekat turf sendiri, unlike some people. hahahah. (cheap shot, i know)

how do you expect me to respect you when you can't even respect yourself?

if it makes you happy parading your stupidity to the whole world as if it's something to be proud of, then go on, i can't stop you.

but that also means i can't respect you.

ahhhhh maybe we should all just leave you as you are. 

besides, you seem to enjoy playing the part of the imbecile in the glass. 

you seem to adore having people pass you by, pointing and sniggering.

if that's your choice, then so be it. 

but don't blame us if we get a kick out of pointing and laughing at you.

hey, it's only fair, no?

(lopsided grin)

ini semua gara gara baca perihal politik in the light of the celebration of Independence.

1. bilamasa fahaman dan ideologi terbit secara membabi buta, kesedaran patut ada bahawa we are treading on the wrong track. 

2. bilamasa ketidaksetujuan tidak lagi diiringi dengan rasa hormat, muncul lah golongan golongan lancang yang hanya mahu kan kemenangan, bukan lagi kebenaran.

3. bilamasa aku sudah bicara tentang perihal perihal yang randomly righteous, sudah pasti maksudnya telah sampai waktu untuk aku tidur lena.

:)

Manusia Memang Selfish

Aku nak jadi serious pagi ni.

I just finished reading Never Let Me Go (you can read my review about it here ) and somehow, something about the book reminded me of Avatar.

I guess it is easier to comprehend the behaviour of us homo-sapiens when it is presented to us from another creature's point of view. (Saya pernah baca kata kata ini : You can't find yourself inside yourself. Step outside. I'll meet you there)

Avatar was from the POV of well, an alien and this book was from the POV of clones. Yes, human clones. You know how we've always thought of clones as this human-form that is kept in like, huge test tubes and their purpose are solely to produce human organs that will enhance our biological and medical technology? (Saya sendiri pun termasuk dalam kategori jahil, sebab tak pernah terfikir ada kemungkinan that there is a realm where something other than that orthodox belief exists)

Well, the idea that Kazuo Ishiguro puts forward was that these clones were capable of thoughts and emotions but even when presented with proof of that, the society and the government ran scared and denied the possibility of the clones being anything more than mere lab apparatus.

(Apa yang saya cuba nak ketengahkan di sini bukannya tentang possibility bahawa ada kemungkinan ciptaan manusia tu adalah seperfect ciptaan Tuhan. Jangan cepat melatah! Saya sedang bicara tentang ignorance secara general ni)

When it comes to anything remotely sensitive, like politics or religion or extreme social issues, ive noticed that TOO MANY people refuse to address these issues directly. They refuse to read up on said subjects and they refuse to discuss and debate it openly. 

Why? I keep asking myself, why? Out of fear that their opinions might be open to ridicule, perhaps? Or fear that it will lead them astray to further unconventional thoughts, maybe. Instead, they would rather deny the possibility of there being anything more substantial to discuss, and they will kill the topic and move on to other lighter and less complicated subjects.

I have once touched the subject of alcohol in Islam. Of course it is prohibited, but why exactly? I've gotten so sick with all this 'sebab Allah cakap haram, haram lah!' and 'Itu kan air kencing setan, duhh' statements that are repetitive in nature. It is as if, everyone are clones (pah! the irony!) and have exactly the same thoughts when it comes to subjects such as these.

It was stated that alcohol is prohibited for health reasons. Besides, it makes you high and when you are in an ecstasy, you will not be thinking straight and thus, it will prevent you from conducting your ibadah in a sober state.

Now, let me ask you this (pardon me for repeating my own posts), if a series of experiments were to be conducted where a medical test is done on a person where the amount of alcohol consumed is carefully calculated - an amount that will not induce any form of health hazard AT ALL, will not affect the person's sanity and is not enough to cause an addiction - is it still prohibited in that sense?

This is just one example out of the many questions that i ask myself. I personally think that there is nothing wrong in asking questions. For, if you do not ask questions, how else do you expect to get answers? As long as you do not let your faith be swayed by whatever question you might pose and answers you might obtain, i believe there is nothing wrong with it. 

Satu lagi example. (harap harap tak kena rejam lepas ni). Dalam Quran, there is a surah called Al-Qiyamah. It is about Doom's Day. Thing is, the direct translation of the name of the surah is The Resurrection.

While resurrection can mean 'the act of rising from the dead', it can also mean 'the state of one who has returned to life'. All this while, everyone has always assumed that it is a literal account of what The End of The World will be like. Isnt there just a possibility that instead, it describes a journey of somebody whose life has gone through darkness and is just discovering a newfound light? 

Isn't al-Quran after all a complete book of guidelines that covers every aspects of our lives? I don't want to get into details with the whole al-Qiyamah business. It will be too lengthy. Penat korang nak baca nanti. But if you are as jobless as i am, and you've got time to spare, go read the translation and see if there's a hidden meaning behind those physical lines that you can read.

If you want to discuss and debate it with me, by all means, do so. (Sambil sambil tu, we can both generate an extra brain cell or two heheh). Drop a comment, write me an email. Apa apa pun boleh. OK, moving on.

What is wrong with asking questions? What is wrong with trying to discover the source of why such and such rules and regulations were created in the first place? You never know, if you give these questions a chance, you might just discover something new within yourself.

Sampai bila weh, kita nak run scared everytime something out of the ordinary surfaces? Kalau semua orang ada attitude macam ni, sampai sekarang kita still ingat bumi tu flat. Sampai sekarang kita still ingat matahari tu yang orbit around bumi. 

Ke kita memang spesies yang suka di-institutionalized? Ikut semua hukum hakam dan akta akta tanpa fikir panjang? 

Open up your minds, let your mind wander around. Unless if you think it's too small to be let out by itself without a leash lah, haha. In that case, you can stay under your blanket of ignorance til the day you die. :)

Why Would You Want To Blend In When You Can Stand Out?

I'd like to tell you that i'm different.
and that i am unique.

That i was uncool way before it was cool to be uncool.

That i am not like anything and anyone that you've ever met before.

But that would be a lie.

Worse still, that would be a cliche.

So many have claimed that they are different.
And it makes me think, what's so bad about being the same as everyone else?

Cuz i can bet you all the money i have

(which is really not that much, heheh)

that whatever you've been through,
there are others who have been through the same thing.

And why do some people insist on being different?
Do you really have to state your uniqueness?
If you're truly different,won't it simply radiate out of you without you having to make a single statement?

Dont take this the wrong way, ive done it too in the past.
At the time, i felt it was as if people only saw one side of me.
And i wanted people to know that i was more than what they saw.

Macam,
what? just because i wear shorts pergi mamak, does that mean i am not the kind yang baca Yassin every Thursday night?
Just because i buat statement bimbo tak ingat dunia, does that mean i am incapable of discussing anything remotely intelligent?

Siapa ajar korang buat stereotype macam tu haa?

But maybe the lesson to be learnt here is that,
IT'S OKAY if society doesnt see you as who you entirely are.
Because there will be this one person,
who will come into your life

(atau mungkin they are already in it as im typing this)

and this person, will take the time to discover every nook and cranny of you
and love you as who you are.

Regardless of you being different,

or just the same as everyone else.

mneyh

hi.
nama saya ghani.
lamborghani.

PFFT.

intuisi

ini cuma intuisi aku,
bukan betul-betul.
kamu semua, memang dodgy.
tapi, ini cuma intuisi aku.

dengan cakap cakap sampah kamu
yang diselangi dabikan dada
oh kamu ada skyline? (ini sudah jadi tagline kamu, bukan?)
tapi aku cuma pernah lihat kamu ditemani motor cabuk saja.

oh duit kamu berkepuk kepuk
oh kawan kamu semua gangster jalanan berpistol
aku tak peduli semua itu
yang aku lihat, cuma habuk dan kata kata gebang
tak boleh dipakai.

tapi, ini kan cuma intuisi aku
intuisi yang membuat kamu semua begitu repulsif di mata aku.

Arsenal oh Arsenal!

Yesterday i bumped into Timmy at the local mamak and he asked me why i havent been updating much on Arsenal .

Honestly, i think it has a lot to do with our horrific loss over Manchester United and Chelsea.
Nak bangga menang dengan Liverpool pun tak boleh, i mean, siapa tak menang over Liverpool kan? *sly grin*

But yeah, i think i lost my momentum because it wasnt like it's enough that your own team disappoints you, your friends would have to join in and make you feel like stuffing a cigarette box of 20 for mocking The Gunners as well.

OK.
Nak dengar cerita?

During the match with MU, i was rushing to catch the game, tapi sebab game start pukul 12 and i only left KL around 1145 or so, terpaksa la dengar BFM punya live commentary (which totally sucked by the way, sebab tak dapat tgk apa jadi and terpaksa rely on the commentator, tapi commentator biased towards MU teramat la sangat nya. menyampah!).

I seriously drove laju gila tak agak agak (kalau dapat saman speedtrap lepas ni, sorry Papa, tak sengaja. heheh) just so i'd get to watch sikiiiiiit hujung hujung game tu pun jadi lah.

And i made it on time. Pecah record drive from KL to Perak tak sampai 2 jam. Dapat la tengok the last 15 minutes of the game.

Now, dah la i sampai dah memang nampak takde harapan nak menang. And when the game was over, my fear was proven. Kalah memalukan. Anyway, as if that was not enough, Mok (who, yes, knowing my luck had to be an MU supporter) who was sitting right next to me, boleh pulak hantar SMS membakar dan menggelakkan kekalahan.

Not one SMS. Not two. Not even three. He sent FOUR.

AND I WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM! Mulut dia tengah bergerak lagi kutuk Arsenal, and at the same time message terus masuk dalam phone, also from Mok, also kutuk Arsenal.

Baik kan kawan kawan i? :)

And dont get me started on the Chelsea game. Dah dah malas nak cakap.
Hehe.
So, yeah, that's my excuse.

But i guess since we've won 5-0 over Porto, and since we're back on the running to win the title, I'm sort of getting my mood back.

I mean, our chance is just as good as Chelsea and MU i think. Out of the 9 games, we just have to make sure that we win one game extra dari MU. And for Chelsea to, i dont know, drop dead. Hahaha.

Tapi, i think it's not that bad lah. Out of the 9, yang paling menggerunkan pun would be Manchester City, other than that, boleh menang kot (ok, i hope i tak jinx it by saying it. hehe).

MU still has to face Chelsea (i dont know who i'd rather have lose. It's really a tough decision).

Look at it this way, after the Burnley fiasco, pundits and critics and even some fans were bashing Bendtner. And he rose from the ashes (cehceh macam phoenix pulak) and did well in the Porto game.

Mana la tau, after this people will start picking on Diaby ke, tiba tiba ambik kau, 15 goal terus. Heheh. Well, it's not wrong to dream kan? :P

Meleis.

i have wondered, why i am the way i am.
macam, ish tasha, apahal rebellious gila ni?

and today, with the help of a teh tarik in hand, and my roommate next to me,
i think i cracked the mystery.

i despise the mentality of most of the people around me
(oh, not my friends of course. i dont hang out with close minded people. sorry, but that's a fact)
i dont like the fact that most Meleis (thank you Encik Effi Nazrel for teaching me this appropriate term) are so frigid.

They are scared to venture out of their comfort zone,
and instead of exploring the world out there, they criticize and condemn people who doesnt live and think the way they do.

Ive had the argument about New Economy Policy one too many times before. I get it that it is there to look after the Malay rights. But i still think it's unfair that a lot of individuals miss out on so many opportunities simply because they weren't born Malay.

I think by hanging on to the NEP, it's just making us more lazy. Well, nak study susah susah sangat kenapa? Dapat 5C pun boleh masuk UITM jugak. It never occurs to Meleis ke, that it's unfair for people of other races yg dapat 10A and has to struggle because there is a quota working against them?

What is race anyway? A difference in skin colour and kesepetan mata?

There are just too many factors that i could list down, tapi malas sebab nanti panjang sangat entry ni.

I remembered hanging out with my French friends. And the topic of homosexuality came up. One of them told me that ever since she came to Malaysia, it's the first time that the topic came up for discussion. She asked me why was the topic so taboo in Malaysia (it might not be so, but here in Tronoh, amongst the Meleis, it is kinda super taboo).

And i dont think that there's anything wrong about discussing things as such. I mean, it's not exactly the equivalent of having an orgy in a public place now, is it? What's so wrong about talking pasal things that are happening to the world, to the community?

But, instead of talking about things yang membuka minda like the ideology of the Nazis, or the fact that they mutilize women's genitals in Africa, or terrorism in general, im hearing talks of Fasha Sandha and her latest scandal, of some unknown yoohoo who dumped his gf and went out with this other girl.

In other words, gossip. Oh yes, Meleis love to gossip. Ntah apa yang best ntah have a lengthy discussion about other people's love life ntah.

And that is why i refuse to succumb to this massive conformation. That is why aku hentam keromo je buat semua benda.

Sekian, terima kasih.

*bows to crowd*

bak datang!

Weh weh! Perasan tak!
Arsenal punya fans biasanya (BIASANYA ok? itu equivalent dengan USUALLY. bermakna, bukan all the time ok? ok?) sangat hebat critic team sendiri.

We love the team,
we have faith in the players,
but we are also, at the same time, realistic.

Among ourselves,
laju je nak kutuk kebangangan own goal own goal sekalian.
And betapa weak nya defense at times.

Tapi tapi tapi.
Kalau fan lain kutuk,
we will laju laju come to the rescue
(budget Superman padahal Wenger bukannya kenal pun kita!)

Kami realistic.

Bukan mcm fan sesetengah team tu.
Diaorang menang ke, kalah ke, main hebat ke, main macam gampang ke,
Kalau cerita mesti nak paling gebang.

Kata mereka, MU lah yang undefeatable tu (oops, terdisclose nama. sorry!). MU la yang selalu bawak balik piala.

Ah iye!
Humble much, folks?

*grins*

p/s : see you this weekend!

New Moon and all about the Vampire Craze

Of course it's easy to drool all over sparkly vampires (whose skin, my friend thinks, will only look good on a handbag!).

Imagine if Meyer left Bram Stoker's version of vampire as it is. And if they look like these:

The Salt Vampire in Star Trek

Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This one looks more like a witch to me, but oh heck!
(credits to Leeber)

I bet none of you would go ga-ga. No one would go to movie premieres wearing 'Bite Me, Edward' tops and go to Halloween parties as the Cullens looking like you just came out from a glitter bath.

And in that case, i think Twilight wouldnt have been made into movies pun in the first place. But then Meyer has already done the damage by making them Adonises and Greek gods and goddesses.

Ok. That's not the point of my story here.

I've read all 4 books in the Twilight saga. And ive seen the movies repeatedly to ogle at the fairytale of a love story (because in reality, not only are there NO vampires and werewolves, but also, you rarely get to see high school kids finding love in its purest form.)

Oh yes, the dialogues recited sometimes make me swoon and daydream. And hey, im just a girl, excuse me for liking romance (and yes, Twilight is categorized as romance. bukan adventure, bukan thriller. jangan tipu).

And i do think that some of the werewolves were hotttiiiees. and that Jacob (ntah apa nama actor dia, tak ingat) has 8 packs to kill for (I counted!). And that Robert Pattinson, when he's not looking too pale is quiet good looking.

But that's that. i still think people should not get carried away with their obsession.

A girlfriend, Vicky, told me that a few nights back, she went out to a club with a bunch of friends. There was this girl who was sitting near her (whom, was a stranger).

This stranger got tipsy after awhile and bored the whole table telling everyone how obsessed she is with Twilight. With no warning, she suddenly inched closer to Vicky, and BIT HER ON THE NECK!

Tipsy Girl then claimed that she has some sort of K5 bullshit substance in her blood that enables her to suck blood.

Vicky stood up and punched Tipsy Girl who then fell to the floor, showing no signs of superhuman strength.

Wicked!

Arsenal Vs. Chelsea

now now now.
where should i start.

what about the fact that watching the match was like watching a 'sukaneka for kindergarten toddlers'?

the ball barely penetrated Chelsea's defense and there were too many goofballs horseplaying on the field.
GET A ROOM!

im not dissing my own team, no im not. (I REALLY AM NOT!!)
its just that, i dont want to be a sore loser who blames the ref when its clear that our own attack plan PHAILED big time.

i mean, come on!! what is it with Arsenal and scoring their own goals each time theres a big match?

Nadim said : I rasa Arsenal punya player requirement is that diorang kena reti own goal. tak reti buat own goal, tak boleh main for Arsenal.

wahahahaahah. siot betul.
eh okay okay. tak gelak.

With Van Persie out for 5 months, i dont know how we can survive this season.
No choice but to have faith that Wenger will cook something up soon enough.
I dont get why he refuses to use the money from selling off Adebayor to get good strikers.

Oh. and dont get me started on how slow Eduardo was.
(not that im confident of outrunning him, but it still, im no professional football player)
It's infuriating how EVERYONE outran him. sigghhh.

And i gotta admit, Chelsea's first goal was awesome.
At first, i thought the ball will go over the goalpost.
When it went in instead, i sat there dumbfounded, unaware of what just happened (in denial, more like)

But but but the second goal was truly a disappointment.
I did not expect this coming from Vermaelen.
I didnt take him for the scoring-own-goal kind.
Tsk tsk.

Thats enough disappointed rants to last me throughout the season.
Im getting back to my presentation.
Chao.

edited : i just remembered! did anyone see when Traore did a backflip and landed on his feet! whoah. i think he should just become a gymnast or something.

(insert a string of curse words here)

cursing my heart out would probably make me feel better right about now.
tapi dah tak mampu to even string cusses properly.
cant even strings words together, much less carutan bernas.

i hate final exams.
i hate doing Civil Engineering.

i am not interested in calculating the tension in a T-bar column,
or the wave force acting on a platform.
and i doubt it that ill ever be.

i wanna write, and talk for a living.

i dont wanna stand under the sun in the middle of a construction site, wearing an ugly hardhat.
i dont wanna be shipped off to work in the middle of some godforsaken oil platform.
i dont wanna stay in an office and do physics calculation on torque and whatnot.
i dont wanna endure another minute of this.
i dont wanna go to a landfill and take the filthy leachate(which is a konon konon glamour name for air sampah btw) and analyze it to see whether its fit for disposal.

im serious.
ive had enough.
four years and a half is enough.

but apparently, i have to stay put and go through this mindless garbs.
ive got a pounding headache, a runny nose and still i have to study Design of Offshore Structures and Structural Dynamics.

ahhh baik aku get wasted and layan Lapsap. lagi bagus.

look who's in the 2nd place now, u smug bitches. :P

I just got back from the mamak, watching Manchester United get defeated yet again (oh yes Devils fans, offence intended. LOL)

I got there about 15 minutes after the kickoff,
and as expected there werent any seats left.
There werent even any room for you to squat on the road. (well, not if you dont want the cars passing by to run you over.)

And while waiting for the 'anney' to find us tables and chairs,
and listening to my favourite Mamak, going all

"Deyy, u Arsenal kalu, ini match, tak payah tengok laa."

Siot punya mamak.

Anyway, back to what i was saying, while waiting (patiently, i might add),
i came up with a mental list of things i cannot stand when hanging out at the mamak
(which doesnt make much of a difference since i still go there about 3 times a day).

#1 : The Bookworms
Imagine this. Its a huge match. Oh, lets say, Liverpool vs. Man United.
And you can expect that the crowd dekat mamak tried their best to outnumber the ones at the stadium itself.

And there were about 76 people who had to stand (not that they were eager to do the whole wave thing) waiting for a seat.
And suddenly, standing out from the crowd, you can see a table full of little kiasus, clad with their laptops and lecture notes, studying for their exam papers, and not once glancing at the big screen.

Aiyooooh machaaaaa.

Nak study, study kat bilik laaaaaaaaa. The internet connection dah stable already whaaat. You dont need the damned wireless at the mamak. We can fit half of the crowd at your table. Tapau ur food and have ur study group where its more comfy and less congested laaaa.

*smacks forehead*

Okay okay. Perhaps they were just trying to mock everyone else by going 'hey! you lot keep on complaining that you cant study in ur room. well check us out. we can study here, and that means we can study absolutely anywhere. theres nothing stopping us, not even ur evil stares.'

Ok. Fine fine. Aku terasa. Now, can we please have your seats?

#2 : The Inappropriate Couples
Yes, ur in love. We get it. But theres really no need to giggle at each other and make profane gestures with that banana ur holding.

For the love of God, some of us are trying to eat.

And friends. Yes, i know i was a tad bit like that too when we were a LOT younger. So dont give me a headache with your accusations, i dont wanna hear it. Hahaha.

(but hey, just for the record, i never played with bananas. not at the mamak. not elsewhere okay. hahah)

#3 : The Mamak with Bad Timing
Of aaaaaaaaalll the time they could walk between the big screen and the projector, some of them simply looooves to pick the most crucial time.

You're half standing, and half shouting, biting ur nails at that free kick. And the moment the ball is inches away from the goal post, time tuuuuu la mamak tu nak lalu.

And as everyone else are either shouting 'Goal!!!!' or groaning like a frog waiting to croak, all you could see was the mamak balancing 3 plates of maggi gorengs and his shadow, also balancing 3 plates of maggi goreng.

Tension betul aku. Lepas tu, time dia tunjuk replay, time tu la mamak tu nak lalu sekali lagi, tapi this time dia bawak 5 gelas nescafe ais pulak. Haishhh.

Well, he's just doing his job, i guess.

I swear i had another point just now. But i seem to have lost it, in the midst of getting all excited about MU getting beaten YET AGAIN. Oh, guess who's at 2nd place now? *grins*

Ahh well, that probably means i should give it a rest. Heheh. :)

what is wrong with the world?

a Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken doll?
One word.
WTF.

Mattel has gone out of their mind man.
First, they said that Ken was cheating on Barbie for the more tanned, beach bum California version of her.
and now they make him a Sugar Daddy.

What a way to promote a lifestyle.
Pfft.
Double pfft.

what next?
Paedophile Ken that comes with little Kelly?

(pardon my obsession with Barbie dolls)

i hate Barbie, that bitch has everything!!

you'd be surprised at how many articles you can find on a doll.
(tak percaya, pergi lah Google!)

I read this article (on BBC News, no less) which depicted what Barbie would look like if she was human.


Kinda monstrous and alien-like eh? They even had the math calculation and formula thingamajig to calculate the feasibility of finding a human Barbie.

Here are some mindless facts that will result in a wastage of about 4.5 minutes of your life that you're never getting back.

1) If Barbie were life size, she probably wouldnt be able to menstruate because she does not have enough body fat. (sound appetizing much, bulimics out there?)

2) Barbie dumped Ken because he had commitment issues (he refused to get married after almost 50 years of courtship) but it is assured that they will 'remain friends'.

3) Those Barbies in wedding dresses, yeah those were just her figments of fantasy.

4) Barbie cheated on Ken with G.I Joe (remember that Christmas joke?)

Do you not think that it's bullshit, coming up with all these facts over a toy?

Oh, and this is a list of a more realistic fashion line for Barbie. Til next season. *smirks*

this is what i get for visiting dumb sites while colouring my hair

omg omg omg omg omg
(sambung baca omg for the next seven minutes)

i just wasted a few hours of my life browsing through malaysia's gossip blogs.
waaaargggh tertekan nya aku.
tension sampai rasa macam nak bakar computer.

i CANNOT fathom how absolutely conservative close minded nya Malaysians are.
And im sorry to report that most of them are Malays.

Now, now, im not going all
"oooooh, im the New Age Malay and im better than them all"
(though from what ive just read, perhaps maybe i am)

its just that.. okay.. lemme start this again.

*takes a deep breath*

So, some stupid moron who's probably trying to make money out of publishing craps about Malaysian artist, releases all this stupid 'articles' that wouldnt make much sense pun if the person that theyre writing about is not an artist in the first place.

(atau mungkin dia teringin nak glamour, tapi takde talent, so dia blog la walaupun writing talent pun takde and they Facebook stalk people as a source to their craps)

It's one thing nak gossip about celebrities,
tapi cerita such as:

"Artis A tweeted that she wants to go to the pasar malam today"
"Artis B dilihat menjual air pink guava di pasar malam kepada Artis A"
"Adik Artis C pakai seluar atas lutut di pasar malam yang sama"

Weyy seriously,
ADA AKU KESAH??

As if that's not enough,
they write stupid stories about the so called celebrities' adik, mak, kakak, abang, bapak, nenek, posman, ketua kampung.
Ahh complete lah semua.

These people's Facebook (dan lain lain) were raided and pics yang takde la teruk mana pun was published and points were exaggerated.

OK.
Maybe ada lah some indecency.
But i dont think they deserve such crude and tasteless comments.

If you were to read the comments, you would think that the pictures were taken out of Playboy's middle spread.

Habis la semua benda diorang salahkan.
Keluar hadis and sunnah,
but then again, you people still check the site religiously anyway!

Cari apa?
The latest nude picture and 3gp?
Hoping to see some cleavage and camel toes?

*shakes head*
korang sama je laaa.

As if la the comments that they gave were so membina kan.
In the end, they will squabble with one another over each other's comments.
Korang gaduh gaduh pun, bukannya artis tu baca pun comment tu.
Pshh.

Yang paling zomg nya,
even about non-muslim artist pun they wanna kick up a fuss.
BIAR LAAA orang tu nak minum wine ke, pegang a bottle of Tiger ke.
The keyword is Non-Muslim.
Tak payah sibuk boleh tak?

i feel like a dumbass now.
my intention was just to get a few laughs at the expense of other's stupidity.
tapi last last sendiri yang rasa bodoh.

and needless to say, im ashamed of some Malaysian's stupidity and lameass comments.
memalukan sungguh.

please la dol, go and read up on some better form of reading material.
Banyak lagi literature works you can read on.
Kalau kau memang tak reti nak appreciate good literature, paling paling pun pergi la baca Soccernet ke, cari recipe buat choc chip cookies ke.

You're just scamming on other's popularity and are just upset that you're not as famous as they are.
And it SHOWS, goddammit.

Im serious.
Go get a life.
And stop trying to take part in somebody else's.
Orang tu tak kenal pun kau.

Ive wasted enough time.
Im gonna go wash my hair off now.

merah sebab marah

shit happens.
and when they do,
you tend to expect that your friends will be there to help you fix em up or at least help you recover.

but when "friends" are the ones who shat in the first place,
the trust and respect gets flushed away along with them.

screw you.
thanks for 4 years worth of memories.
and one night that ruined them all.
thanks.
but no thanks.

you can now take your shit back.

Annoying People Yang Patut Kena Sembur Ridsect Dalam Mulut PART TWO

:continuation:

orang keempat yang patut ditembak
orang yang beritahu ending movie/buku

Picture this.
You have been waiting for an entire year to watch 'Inglourious Basterds'.
(well, it has been said that it's Tarantino's best yet)
Each time you watch a trailer,
or see the Coming Soon poster in the cinemas near you,
or happen to watch its advert.
You get shivers.
And you get all excited.

Finally, it premieres in your local theatre.
And you bought the tickets for the second week of the show,
(because the ones for the first week was sold out).

One day before watching the movie,
some party pooper bastard told you what happened at the end of the movie.
"oh mamat ini blablablabla. hahaha.tak budget dowh ending macam tu"

Bahalol.
Dia memang sengaja buat tak budget.
That's what people call the element of surprise.
And with you going around, popping everyone's surprise balloon,
tak guna la dia buat twist at the end of the movie.
Bongok.

Same goes for books.
I hate it when im at the last few chapters,
and then some morons open their mouth and go
"oh you know what happened at the end when blablablablabla? It's insane, isnt it?"

Kau lagi insane.

Maybe you dont think they deserve aerosol spray poisoning their body.
But im the kind who CANNOT read a book that i already know the ending to,
no matter how good the book is.
Yeah, im that freak.
So aku memang tak blh blah kalau orang mcm ni ada.
Potong stim to the power of four!
Hish.

orang kelima yang patut ditembak
orang yang ambil benda orang lain and claim that its theirs

be it boyfriends/girlfriends.
or be it Mee Ruski Tomyam.
be it rare songs from rare bands.
or ideologies and thoughts.

shall i explain?
okay.

contoh number satu: bf/gf
(siapa nak spray Ridsect dlm mulut saya,sila kan)
The thief will dengan tenang hati nya, knowing that the person they are hitting on is already attached to someone else.
Oh it doesnt matter, flirt je anyway.
They go all out,
be everything that the current spouse is not.

tak kisah la whether or not they manage to curi the bf/gf.
its the sin that counts.

you already know itu boyfriend orang lain.
you KNOW that you are not supposed to hurung mamat tu macam lalat.
yet you do it anyway.
bawak la orang tu ke sana sini.
if you at least acknowledge the existance of his gf takpe lagi.
ni tak.
nampak gf dia, sila buat bodoh.
tegur mamat tu sahaja and biar kan gf dia terpinga pinga rasa mcm third wheel.

hello, kalau ye pun nak jadi bf stealer
at least do it with style baby.
;)

contoh number dua: Mee Ruski Tomyam
(any other kind of food pun bolehh)

Jenis yang ini beroperasi bila roommate dia baru pergi grocery shopping.
Bawak blk bilik 4 bulan punya stock of food.
Time roommate takde kat bilik, dia pun rummage through the food,
pick the ones yang paling best
dan agihkan kat orang lain mcm bayar zakat dekat orang miskin.

Err.
What theyll get in return?
Orang lain akan rasa mcm
'oh baik nya dia ni. bagi aku Ferrero Rocher satu papan. Generous betul!'

Padahal it wasnt theirs to give away in the first place.
(ok. jgn start assume yang bukan bukan. roommate saya tak buat mcm ni.
dia baik. housemates saya semua baik. dan iya, ini ayat bodek.)

contoh number tiga:
rare songs from rare bands
(bunyi mcm Ray Bans. haha)

it sounds like nothing much.
you listen to a friend's playlist.
you've never heard them before, but lagu tu semua best.

kau pun bawak la keluar thumbdrive, copy lagu tu.
lepas tu bila orang dengar lagu tu in ur playlist,
kau claim that kau bersusah payah download lagu tu kat rumah
(FYI ini jadi issue kat UTP sebab dekat UTP, jangan kata nak download lagu, nak download font seketul pun susah)

Padahal kawan kau painstakingly downloaded those songs masa dia kat rumah.
Penat penat dia cari rare bands yang best
dan masih belum keluar dekat mainstream radio.
Lepas tu kau suka suka je mengaku macam kau yang cool discover lagu diorg.

Satu perkataan.
Loser.
Eh.kejap.dua perkataan lah.
Sore Loser.

contoh number empat:
apa tadi?
oh. ideologies and thoughts.

i believe enough has been said on this.
plagiarism sucks.
end of story.

Okay, id better get back to my report if im planning to celebrate Raya this year.
There will be a PART THREE to this, after raya maybe.
(memang tak la time raya pun i nak blog kan! ill be with my ketupats and rendangs and dodols!)
So til then.

love love.
:)

MTV Video Music Awards (just because i think, like Russell Brand, i can say whatever i want, and sorta get away with it)

OK, i dont.
OK, that's another lie. I do.
I did lah, at least.

What does Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.

Haa. Ha. Ha.
ok serious tak kelakar.
(i swear it was hilarious when he was still alive)

But when i heard Madonna's speech about MJ,
terus tak jadi nak gelak tak ikhlas.
a little ikhlas tak ikhlas teardrop pulak took its place.
I wasnt even such a big fan,
but that, my friends, was a powerful speech.

And as you can see,
i have a bit of an obsession towards Russell Brand.
(dari last year kot dah blog about him and his statements)

If it was about bashing Bush and Jonas Brother's virginity issue,
this year he went all :

Lady Gaga is performing here tonight!!
How can we celebrate 2009 without that fantastic woman?
Now, there has been lots of mudslingin' and rumor mongering and rubbish, people saying that she's a hermaphrodite.

I think its a disgrace that a woman cannot be successful, sexy and have an aggresive sexuality without people saying "Oh, she must be a bloke."
That is sexist!

And i would like to condemn the male dominated media for their disgusting treatment of this incredible woman.
And if you havent worked it out by now, yeah,
i'm trying to fuck her.

But you cant read those in a monotonic tone!
It HAS to be in Russell Brand's voice,
complete with his accents
and his crotch-enhancing pants attitude yang mcm tgh on 4 different drugs at one go!

Tch.
Russell Brand and his endless provocative statements.
That's why i adore him so much I guess.
(i secretly wish that i'll be able to say something as honest, albeit crude, in front of the world)

Though I'd have to say,
i give +37 Irony Points (WTF?) to Lady Gaga for her speech:
"this is for God, and for the gays!"
(pun intended, i think)
(oh. and that weird red mask thingy she wore to accept her award makes her look as if she works for Alam Flora)

The performances were awesome.
I first made uncalled for bitchy remarks about Pink's perut buncit and ridiculous getup, but i took them back as soon as i saw her swingin' performance!
(Gempak dowh lu. At least we all now know that should the community decide to isolate Pink one day, she can always make a living by joining a circus group)

And Beyonce made me go woo-oh-oh!
The bisexual part in me (under the influence of Brand and Gaga - ok ini tipu lagi sekali. perempuan2, tak payah sms saya sekejap lagi ajak berdating di bawah bulan purnama. tapi kalau anda sangat hot, sila tinggal kan phone number. lepas bulan puasa saya might just call anda blk.) made me shiver and tingle looking at her wiggle and do her African Princess bit.

And one thing that i have to say about Muse.
LOVEEE.

Should i comment about Kanye West's drunken act?
Tak payah kot kan.
Jangan malas sangat, pergi Google!
Hahah.

It kinda looked like a setup to me though.
I mean, shouldnt they have like floor managers and shit to stop him from barging on the stage in the first place?
*raises eyebrow*
ah who cares.

So, yeah,
pardon me for rambling on and on about MTV Video Music Awards.
I was just trying to find an excuse to procrastinate from doing my assignment and studying for my test.


p/s : i think i would be 136 years old, baru Malaysia will have the same standard of awards macam MTV VMA.