only believers go to heaven?

for the past two months or so,
i have had to take my sister to the hospital every other day for her physiotherapy appointment.
(she had a bad swimming accident, during which she almost got her finger cut into two. she's fine now if that's what you're wondering. just remember, dont wear rings when you swim! dont say i didnt warn you!)

anyway.
during one of the visits, we got to talking with this old Chinese uncle.
from talking about the Reproduction Chapter of high school Science, we somehow ended up talking about religion.

the uncle then told us about one of his encounter with a Catholic friend.
the friend preached to him about his religion and claimed "You have to embrace it because anyone other than the believers will NOT make it to heaven!"

the uncle then thought for a while and replied, "Well, in that case i dont want to go to heaven! All of my friends are from other religions."

God's Existence.

If God does not exist, 

that means heaven does not exist either. 

And that means the world's poor,

those millions who live in poverty and oppresion,

will never go to heaven. 

And if that is so, 

then how do you explain all the suffering of the poor?

What are we here for,

and why do we put up with so much unhappiness,

if it's all for nothing?

-Snow, Orhan Pamuk

of enjoying life and going with the flow (just like a fish!)

Fall in love or Fall in hate.

Get inspired or Be depressed.

Ace a test or Flunk a class.

Make babies or Make art.

Speak the truth or Lie and cheat.

Dance on tables or Sit in the corner.

Life is divine chaos.

Embrace it.

Forgive yourself.

Breathe.

And enjoy the ride.

-Solbeam-

p/s : on another totally unrelated note, i am - since last night - determined to play Freecell from game #1 right up to #1000000 . so far i've reached #58. :)

Selamat Hari Raya! now lets go out and main mercun!

fuh fuh.
tiba tiba teringin nak conform dengan society.

I would like to publicize sesi pemohonan ampun maaf sempena Hari Raya.

I am, by nature, a loud person. To add to the damage, i am also (most of the time) incapable of watching the things i say. As a result, i might have unintentionally (and sometimes, bila tengah bad mood, intentionally) caused you to add your own dosa sebab marah/simpan dendam/maki maki dekat i due to sakit hati. Teramat amat lah sorry kalau ada such a case (which im pretty sure, ada).

And sometimes, the things that i do are incomprehensible to other (more) normal beings. I wont apologize for being myself and jumping up and down and kadang kadang tergelak extra kuat, but i will say sorry if you happen to be on the same table and malu due to my 'tak cover' behaviour.

I'm only human. I make mistakes. And sometimes i break hearts. Sometimes i provoke and instigate others. Sometimes i do impulsive things that may result in tragedies.

For all of that, saya susun sepuluh jari (i still do not understand the relevance behind this symbolism) and Minta maaf dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki. Halalkan makan minum i (or if you insist, claim la lepas i dapat duit raya ni).

Selamat Hari Raya.
Maaf Zahir. dan Batin (hanya kepada golongan golongan tertentu sahaja).

Dont indulge too much with raya food yaww! Jangan menyesal di kemudian hari!

Akhir kata, maju lah sukan untuk negara!

ini semua gara gara baca perihal politik in the light of the celebration of Independence.

1. bilamasa fahaman dan ideologi terbit secara membabi buta, kesedaran patut ada bahawa we are treading on the wrong track. 

2. bilamasa ketidaksetujuan tidak lagi diiringi dengan rasa hormat, muncul lah golongan golongan lancang yang hanya mahu kan kemenangan, bukan lagi kebenaran.

3. bilamasa aku sudah bicara tentang perihal perihal yang randomly righteous, sudah pasti maksudnya telah sampai waktu untuk aku tidur lena.

:)

banana split personality

saya baru baca blog Tidak Best (nama je Tidak Best, tapi best!) yang mengingatkan saya tentang perihal alter ego.

Baru malam semalam waktu otak berpinar pinar, saya terkenangkan alter ego saya sendiri.

Kelakar.

Rasa macam deja vu pun ada.

Eh. Takde kena mengena.

Saya rasa saya yang menulis dan saya yang bercakap adalah dua being yang lain.
Sesungguhnya lain.

Yang menulis ;

mungkin lebih matang
mungkin lebih bijak menilai keadaan
mungkin lebih faham tata manusia

Yang bercakap ;

masih rancak bergelak ketawa
masih hilang dipimpin rasa
masih terkedu masih ternganga

Saya yang ke kelas dan saya yang bermalas di atas katil adalah dua jiwa yang beza.

Sesungguhnya berbeza.

Adanya tembok di tengah.
Yang kiri itu malas,
Yang kanan rancak menari.

To those who only know me virtually ;

jangan terpedaya dengan manis kata

yang hakiki ini tidak lah segah mana.

p/s : sorry termerepek panjang lebar terikutkan perasaan. :)

i can read you like a book

you are extremely transparent

you think you are being broody and unpredictable

but i can see right through you

as if,

you were made out of glass

request yang tak tahu macam mana nak tolak

a girlfriend of mine who recently went through a breakup said this to me :

Sha, i dah takde orang nak manja-manja with.

Kalau i nak manja manja, i manja manja dengan you eh?

Kalau i rasa nak kiss, i peck you on the cheek eh?

Kalau i rasa nak yang lain lain, i baca Quran!

-_-'

Letter to Myself

Dear Future Tasha,

I have been influenced by How I Met Your Mother and am now writing a letter to you Ted Mosby style.

I am writing with the purpose of reminding you that you DONT DESERVE to feel the slightest bit remorseful when your exam result comes out.

This is because :

- my insistence on procrastinating will not reflect well on you

- i am solely depending on luck for my paper tomorrow and i should let you know earlier not to let your hopes up

- Design of Steel has always been our enemy.

Let me remind you that it is now only 12 hours away from the paper, and I am too busy being a nutcase to actually revise.

So there. If you so much as mutter 'damn. i shouldve studied for this paper', memang aku sekeh kepala kau lepas tu gelak kuat kuat.

Sincerely yours,
Present Tasha

i hate it when this happens

Read this : prologue

Now, read on.

Situation 1

we were at the mamak, and i brought along my assignment (i skemaa woot woot!).

Spot took one look at the paper that i was writing on, and said :

uish. tulisan u lawa la Sha, macam tulisan perempuan!

-_-'

Situation 2

I had a phase when i tried to be girly-girly.

OK. tak la girly mana.

but you know,

i tried the whole soft-spoken approach,

and this was what Timmy said to me :

Eh Sha, apa cakap lemah lembut macam perempuan ni? Tamau jadi perempuan please? Tamau tamau.

-_-'

Situation 3

We were planning on a day out to de-stress after exam papers yang (hampir) membunuh.
And the crowd was supposed to be a bunch of guys and ME!
And Spot said :
yeahhh! first kita tengok movie, then makan sedap sedap, then kita tengok Champions League finals! Tomorrow : BOYS Day Out!

-_-'

Habis aku ni apaaaaaa?

Hasil plastic surgery??

Why Would You Want To Blend In When You Can Stand Out?

I'd like to tell you that i'm different.
and that i am unique.

That i was uncool way before it was cool to be uncool.

That i am not like anything and anyone that you've ever met before.

But that would be a lie.

Worse still, that would be a cliche.

So many have claimed that they are different.
And it makes me think, what's so bad about being the same as everyone else?

Cuz i can bet you all the money i have

(which is really not that much, heheh)

that whatever you've been through,
there are others who have been through the same thing.

And why do some people insist on being different?
Do you really have to state your uniqueness?
If you're truly different,won't it simply radiate out of you without you having to make a single statement?

Dont take this the wrong way, ive done it too in the past.
At the time, i felt it was as if people only saw one side of me.
And i wanted people to know that i was more than what they saw.

Macam,
what? just because i wear shorts pergi mamak, does that mean i am not the kind yang baca Yassin every Thursday night?
Just because i buat statement bimbo tak ingat dunia, does that mean i am incapable of discussing anything remotely intelligent?

Siapa ajar korang buat stereotype macam tu haa?

But maybe the lesson to be learnt here is that,
IT'S OKAY if society doesnt see you as who you entirely are.
Because there will be this one person,
who will come into your life

(atau mungkin they are already in it as im typing this)

and this person, will take the time to discover every nook and cranny of you
and love you as who you are.

Regardless of you being different,

or just the same as everyone else.

the next time you want to be bitchy, remember this

There was a wise man who moved to the city of Akbar.
No one took much notice of him, and his teachings were not taken up by the populace.
After a time, he became the object of their mockery and their ironic comments.

One day, while he was walking down the main street in Akbar,
a group of men and women began insulting him.
Instead of pretending that he had not noticed, the wise man turned to them and blessed them.

One of the man said :
Are you deaf too? We call you the foulest of names and yet you respond with sweet words!

We can each of us only offer what we have,
came the wise man's reply.

-taken from 'Like The Flowing River'

THIS is exactly why i love Paulo Coelho.

Oh, and I'm sorry for not updating this measly blog as religiously as i would have liked.
Truth is, i'm trying to compile my writings into a book.
So most of the things that i write go in there instead of here.
(An angan angan that i feel the need to accomplish for the sake of learning and discovering something new about myself.)

Bear with me.
I'll be back.
:)

life is not a hollywood movie

Have you ever wondered kenapa you feel miserable and have bloody murderous thoughts at times?
it's not because the world is out to get you.
it's not because semua orang nak cari pasal dengan you.
no.

REALITY CHECK kejap please!
you're doing it to yourself.

ive explained the rule of karma dah berapa juta kali dah i rasa.
nak berbuih dah mulut.
(or, to be more politically(?) correct, dah carpal tunnel dah type pasal karma)

ok. i faham you tgh serabut sekarang.
you have banyak gila problem.
and you sakit hati when you see that everyone else is getting on with life as if dekat luar tu semua rainbows and butterflies je.
and you feel left out, because your life sucks and you feel like hiding in a hole until everything gets better.
and the notion of how life goes on, leaving you behind feeling perasaan perasaan yang slightly short of suicidal, that sucks big time, i know.

yes yes i know.

but the more you run away from it.
the more you rebel against it.
the worse it'll get.

as you all know,
i was feeling dreadfully sorry for myself a few weeks back.
in the midst of complaining about my problems, i tak sedar that the person i was complaining to tu mcm ada problem yang lagi banyak and lagi lah in dire need of help sebenarnya.

dwelling on a problem doesnt make it go away.
being bitter to people around you, that wont solve your problem jugak.

think about it, at the time that you need to have moral supports from people around you, what good would it do if you push all these people out?

memang in the end kau end up rasa morally defeated ah.

dah dah.
jangan repeat mistake i.
and jangan lari from your problem jugak.
kata russell peters, BE A MAN!
face it yaww.

teruk teruk problem kau, banyak lagi orang kat luar tu yang ada problem lagi teruk.
ok?
so stop feeling sorry for yourself,
and do something about it for a change.

:)

soalan bodoh yang orang tanya

I'm not trying to say that I'm smart and that i ask smart questions.
(okay. maybe just a little. hehh)
But i cant comprehend how some people can ask the stupidest questions just because they think it's okay to sound stupid if you're doing it anonymously.

I'll let the questions do the talking.
I found this on yahoolaughs.com and i couldnt stop laughing.
These questions are best read when you are high.

Enjoy.


See what i mean?

Suffering from Quarter Life Crisis

and thus i think im going to be on hiatus for a while.

ive never in my life felt this way.
macam rasa theres a constant chest pain (yang kalau umur saya 56 tahun saya dah pergi checkup dah, kot kot symptom heart attack) and completely alone and tak tahu what i can do to fix things.

People tell me theyll be there for me,
and that theyll support me.
Tapi it doesnt make any difference.

And tak membantu lah kan, the fact that ive never in my life felt this way.
Im hoping by writing this down, it will take some of the burden off my chest.
Tapi mungkin this time i cant expect an easy way out.

Saya rasa saya tengah experience Quarter Life Crisis.
Umur saya sekarang ada lah dua dekad terlebih sikit.
Patutnya lagi 3 tahun baru qualify nak kena Quarter Life Crisis.
Dammit, premature symptom pulak.
Sheesh.

I came across this kat my Standard 6 bestfriend punya blog.
And for reason yang tak tahu apa, i need to spread the disease.

Symptoms of Quarter Life Crisis:

1. It's an end to your peer pressure era and you stop trying to fit in and tiba tiba you get all these new revelations about yourself. Yang tak best nya, you wont necessarily like what you discover about yourself. Macam ini contoh dia :

yess. ada orang tanya i ni kat formspring. woot woot.

2. You start fretting about what your life is gonna be like in a year or two. Lepas tu cuak extra lagi because you're going crazy about the near future, padahal you dont even know where you are right now. Macam, sekarang pun tak berapa nak berpijak di bumi yang nyata (wah wah) lagi nak fikir what will happen lagi setahun dua.

A few while back, i thought i had everything figured out. Nak beli duplex sendiri, nak tukar kereta, and then get married with someone i can lie in bed with and cerita drama hidup hari ini and attempt to make babies everyday just because it's legal dah.

Tapi tiba tiba sekarang semua priorities dah tunggang terbalik. I dont even know mana atas mana bawah.

3. You either :
- get your heart broken and tak faham how someone you love could crush you to pieces
- wonder why you can't meet somebody decent
- love someone but yet have feelings for someone else too and mcm 'shitt, why am i doing this? this is breaking the rules but yet i know aku takde la jahat'

soalan paling susah dalam dunia yang tak ada jawapan

4. You are either studying or doing something that is not even close to what you thought you would be doing. And you realize that when you start working, you'd have to begin from the bottom and it scares you.

OK. Pengakuan honest. I memang bahlol Physics. Serious jangan cakap dengan i pasal moment of inertia atau pun normal force and tension of a concrete pile. Memang satu hari aku garu kepala tak boleh nak jawab.

Yet, here i am, doing Civil Engineering and majoring in Offshore (i dont even like laut all that much!!!)

and this is how much i hate being stuck in my current position

5. Thank god, at this stage, people become more opinionated. Nak tahu tak, back in high school, i was someone who didnt have my own opinion. Macam loser gila okay. Kejap orang ni cakap Britney Spears cool, aku pun agree. Esok orang lain cakap Britney loser gila, pun agree jugak. Wahahaha.

And it's in this stage jugak, that you start to notice how people around you act and the reasons behind their actions. Boleh la kot kalau nak ckp that you become more judgmental. But not necessarily in a bad way.

And time ni lah, one minute you insecure, then the next rasa macam secure gila. You feel alone and scared and confused (which based on what im feeling now, is NOT a good combo, percaya lah). Change, at this point, macam raksasa jahat dalam cerita Ultraman. You want to avoid it selagi yang boleh, sebab you have this feeling that if you have to confront Change, it's gonna pijak u sampai lenyek boleh buat cekodok.

6. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

Ada satu phase in your life, you tend to get enthralled by semua new things that you baru discover, tapi sooner or later you'll realize that that was all it was. A phase. And you tend to want to snap out of it. Kalau ada yang masih tak nak snap out of it, maknanya they are just orang tua yang bajet muda. Atau worse still, culture shock tak hengat. Pfft.

I actually know this bunch of 28 year olds yang kalau duduk dekat mamak 5 jam, the whole 5 hours tu they wont stop talking about clubbing and drinking and hooking up with random guys. It's like, hello, cant we talk about something else? Penat gila aku nak dengar korang cerita benda sama 5 jam!

7. And it is now that you can't seem to make a decision. Semua benda confusing. Do i do this? Or would that option be better? And these questions seem to be stuck on a loop dalam kepala and yes, kawan kawan you lah yang penat nak dengar hikayat masalah you because you just cant stop talking about it. and tak dapat solution jugak.

8. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

Ini sangat betul sebab saya sendiri pun tengah ternganga trying to figure all this out. And i wish there is an easy way out tapi i guess God just wants us to go through this for some reason.

OK. Time untuk konklusi. Are you suffering from Quarter Life Crisis?
Cuz i sure as hell am.

Hantaran Sedulang Hati untuk Puteri Rambut Sedap Part Two

Click sini untuk Part One

Mereka semua sudah pesan,
jangan buat kerja gila.
Fikir sebelum cakap
(google before you tweet, bak kata versi modern).
Nanti hati carik sebelah, kata mereka.

Tapi aku memang degil.

Haaa, sekarang kan dah dapat padah nya.
Hey! Gembira tak bergelumang dengan darah sendiri?
Puteri Rambut Sedap girang gembira dengan hantaran yang kamu bagi?
*ketawa sinis*

Sudah sudah lah
Ini memang tawar,
tapi telan saja lah.
Sama ada kamu telan, atau korban kan sanity kamu.
Faham?

Ini gambaran Puteri Rambut Sedap dalam kotak kepala.

(Ini Elina dalam ANTM Cycle 11)
(Hari ini pelukis graphic cuti bersunat, tak dapat nak hasilkan gambar untuk kisah dongeng ini)

dj HitzFM kata gloat tu bagus!

kata salah seorang DJ Hitz FM pagi semalam :
gloating is the best part of winning.
(sempena kemenangan Man Utd over Liverpool)

but dont you think that that is mere bullshit?
(MU fan memang suka biat statement bullshit, offence intended)

If we gloat,
dan nak hebahkan our success,
does it not cancel out the victory itself?

p/s : Arsenal pun menang jugak.
pp/s : Ini bukan gloating.

Sekian terima kasih.

gemuk.

ina told me that people share their food for a reason.

"you ingat orang baik hati sangat ke, generous sangat ke nak share their food suka suka? no. it's for a good reason. we get fat, we get fat together!"

buat apa nak get fat sorang sorang?
kan misery loves company.

yeah! gagasan gemuk berkumpulan!
woot woot!

oh bulan!

wahai penghuni penghuni UTP sekalian,

cepat lah tidur..
semoga internet lebih laju tatkala anda semua sedang bermimpi.
saya benci kesiputan (or kekurakuraan) ini.

tidur ok?
sweet dreams!

yang benar,

bak datang!

Weh weh! Perasan tak!
Arsenal punya fans biasanya (BIASANYA ok? itu equivalent dengan USUALLY. bermakna, bukan all the time ok? ok?) sangat hebat critic team sendiri.

We love the team,
we have faith in the players,
but we are also, at the same time, realistic.

Among ourselves,
laju je nak kutuk kebangangan own goal own goal sekalian.
And betapa weak nya defense at times.

Tapi tapi tapi.
Kalau fan lain kutuk,
we will laju laju come to the rescue
(budget Superman padahal Wenger bukannya kenal pun kita!)

Kami realistic.

Bukan mcm fan sesetengah team tu.
Diaorang menang ke, kalah ke, main hebat ke, main macam gampang ke,
Kalau cerita mesti nak paling gebang.

Kata mereka, MU lah yang undefeatable tu (oops, terdisclose nama. sorry!). MU la yang selalu bawak balik piala.

Ah iye!
Humble much, folks?

*grins*

p/s : see you this weekend!