oh Tuhan, benci nya bila lapar macam ini

bila ada harimau mengaum dalam perut
sambil cakar cakar
segala usus, segala isi

bila mula terbayang bayang segala macam jenis makanan.
hari-hari biasa, makanan dah terhidang depan mata pun eksyen tak nak makan.
tiba-tiba malam ni teringin nak homemade sandwich yang ada Pistachio Chicken slice dan cheese sekeping dua dan cili sos dan mayo yang melimpah ruah.

tapi ini Tronoh.
Bukan Toronto.
jadi pada pukul 2.06 pagi, bila tiba tiba teringin benda bukan bukan macam tu, jangan harap lah ada supermart buka 24 hours nak layan kerenah perut.

ok fine.
beli burger Ramly pun ok jugak.
tapi tak boleh.
sebab hujan.
dan bila hujan lebat, abang yang selalunya buka burger stall tak jadi buka kedai,
sebab kalau dia buka jugak, nanti baju basah kuyup kena hujan.

dekat Petronas UTP ni dulu patutnya ada McD.
Tapi tak jadi.
sebab ada pihak-pihak yang tulis surat bangkang pembukaan McD sebab itu franchise orang Yahudi, maka kita tak boleh support dan biar mereka untung besar dan guna duit tu untuk attack orang Islam.

mangsanya? saya yang kelaparan pukul 2 pagi sebab takde tempat lain jual burger 24 jam.
saya pun Islam jugak!
huhuhu.

uish. panjang nya rant pasal lack of makanan.

kan, lagi senang kalau tulis :

AKU LAPAR WOI.

settle.

i hate it when this happens

Read this : prologue

Now, read on.

Situation 1

we were at the mamak, and i brought along my assignment (i skemaa woot woot!).

Spot took one look at the paper that i was writing on, and said :

uish. tulisan u lawa la Sha, macam tulisan perempuan!

-_-'

Situation 2

I had a phase when i tried to be girly-girly.

OK. tak la girly mana.

but you know,

i tried the whole soft-spoken approach,

and this was what Timmy said to me :

Eh Sha, apa cakap lemah lembut macam perempuan ni? Tamau jadi perempuan please? Tamau tamau.

-_-'

Situation 3

We were planning on a day out to de-stress after exam papers yang (hampir) membunuh.
And the crowd was supposed to be a bunch of guys and ME!
And Spot said :
yeahhh! first kita tengok movie, then makan sedap sedap, then kita tengok Champions League finals! Tomorrow : BOYS Day Out!

-_-'

Habis aku ni apaaaaaa?

Hasil plastic surgery??

secret

i LOLed hard when i read this on Postsecret.

speaking of beanies,

i have a fetish for anything purple.
oh yes, ANYTHING.

so when i came across a purple beanie at Forever 21 a few months back,
i fell in love with it instantly.

i put it on, and never took it off since.
not even when i shower.
(ok, ur a dumbass if u bought THAT.heheh)

anyway,
it became a habit to sport it EVERYWHERE i go.
(you think i care if you think i look dumb in it? pfft.)

the thing is,
a few weeks back,
a friend PMed me online
the conversation goes a little like this:

Friend : tasha, can i ask you something personal?
Me : yeap sure, anything.
Friend : are u okay? as in, health wise?
Me : haha. yeah im healthy. why ey?
Friend : oh good good. im just curious with ur new style. with the hat and all. i thought ur suffering from leukimia or something.

T_T

and there i was thinking that i was being fashionable. tsk. haha.

does this really look like someone who is undergoing chemotheraphy? LOL.

(insert a string of curse words here)

cursing my heart out would probably make me feel better right about now.
tapi dah tak mampu to even string cusses properly.
cant even strings words together, much less carutan bernas.

i hate final exams.
i hate doing Civil Engineering.

i am not interested in calculating the tension in a T-bar column,
or the wave force acting on a platform.
and i doubt it that ill ever be.

i wanna write, and talk for a living.

i dont wanna stand under the sun in the middle of a construction site, wearing an ugly hardhat.
i dont wanna be shipped off to work in the middle of some godforsaken oil platform.
i dont wanna stay in an office and do physics calculation on torque and whatnot.
i dont wanna endure another minute of this.
i dont wanna go to a landfill and take the filthy leachate(which is a konon konon glamour name for air sampah btw) and analyze it to see whether its fit for disposal.

im serious.
ive had enough.
four years and a half is enough.

but apparently, i have to stay put and go through this mindless garbs.
ive got a pounding headache, a runny nose and still i have to study Design of Offshore Structures and Structural Dynamics.

ahhh baik aku get wasted and layan Lapsap. lagi bagus.

merah sebab marah

shit happens.
and when they do,
you tend to expect that your friends will be there to help you fix em up or at least help you recover.

but when "friends" are the ones who shat in the first place,
the trust and respect gets flushed away along with them.

screw you.
thanks for 4 years worth of memories.
and one night that ruined them all.
thanks.
but no thanks.

you can now take your shit back.

and the rabbit mounts and humps

oh no,
you are not gonna see pictures and videos of rabbits going at it.
if that's what you've come to look for,
you came to the wrong site.
(dengan segala hormatnya, you can go away play Scrabble someplace else now)

i was under medication a few days ago.
and apparently you can see the true nature of people under its influence.
you know what they say about the first child's syndrome kan?
Tak nak kalah, degil and has a tendency to get everyone to listen to them.

well, it turns out that i felt a sudden urge to wolf down a McChicken.

Tasha : Korang, i nak makan McChicken.
Friends : Ok, ok, kejap lagi kita pergi makan ok?
Tasha : Tak nak. I nak makan sekarang.
Friends : Later la sha. Tunggu half an hour je. Kejap lagi kita pergi la sahur McD.
Tasha : TAK NAK. i rasa nak makan sekarang. i nak McChicken!
Friends : Iyee. Tau la u nak makan. Tapi kejap lagi la ok? Bila semua orang dah ready kita pergi la ramai ramai.
Tasha : Tak mau! I want it NOW! I tak suruh korang teman pun kot. I can go down and get it myself!
Friends : Sha, you cant even stand properly, let alone walk without hobbling, mcm mana u nak turun pergi McD. Tunggu la kejaaaaaap je lagi okay?
Tasha : I cakap tak nak, tak nak laaa. I tak rasa nak tunggu. I want to makan McChicken sekarang. I boleh jalan laaa. Korang tak payah teman.

After a few more minutes of arguing, somebody finally went down to get it for me seeing as i really was not in a fit state to stand- let alone walk.

(oh kawan kawan. sorry perangai degil and tak nak kalah saya got to you. hoho.)
(To those yang nak apply jadi boyfriend, please be aware yang saya ni hard-headed and memang tak nak kalah. Betul, tak tipu.)
A friend then told me. Hmmh. I saw your true nature semalam. Degil, tak nak kalah, banyak cakap.


(Friends, you should have had more faith in me. I was drowsy on meds, bukannya baru consume aphrodisiac. XD )

talk about instant retribution!

newsflash.

i went to see the doctor and after waiting at the clinic for about 2 hours (thanks maria and reen sebab paksa and teman pergi), i was diagnosed .... and QUARANTINED!

Gahhhh.

im the 50th case(apparently its not 10), and so theyre shutting down UTP.

i have been asked not to be in contact with anyone this entire week, so from this moment on, i shall be known as Tasha the Hermit.

Please feel free to drop by here and ask how am i doing. because i will be glued to the computer for this whole week. bummer bummer.

inguinal hernia - i think you would wanna see this.

I came across this term on Ira's blog.

Anyways. The term inguinal hernia piqued my interest and thus leading to the part where i googled it.

Basically, in non-medic terms (to enhance the understanding of those yang fail Bio and yang nak dekat dekat dail mcm saya), inguinal hernia is basically a bulge on one or both sides of the groin. This is due to a part of the intestines that slipped out from its orbit. Heheh. Ada pahamm?

Anyways, its more common in men as opposed to women.

Getting to my point, the whole bulge thing was not what caught my attention. It was the picture i saw in wiki.


As you can see, there's a bulge on the top left part of the picture. Again, thats not my point.

Check out how smallllllll the dude's peenis is!!! Waahahahaha. Wee penis! Weenis!!! LOL.

Okay, so thats not very nice of me ( i hope that doesnt equate me to end up married to a guy with a smallie like that due to karma retribution). I swear im not a pervert, i just thought that this is effing hilarious. Hehehe.

To those who cant take a joke like a good sport, go away! Im sick. and i have the rights to entertain myself in the midst of my sickness. XD

p/s: the bulge itself is bigger than the whole thing that might be called a penis. LOL

not me please. that dude over there lagi best, pergi la attack dia!

Rumor has it that UTP is two people short of closing down.
Yeah, im talking about the swine flu phenomenon.

We're down to 10 now and we need 12 to shutdown.
For one week now, ive been hoping that the bloody influenza will reach its target, granting us all an extra one week of lazing around and increasing the size of our butts at home (or some island somewhere, kepada rakan rakan saya yang cinta kan pulau, alam sekitar tiba tiba serta mabuk beach party ciss).

Yesterday i was coughing like an old gypsy on her deathbed. Phlegms and all. Yes, geli, i know.
Today, i have been visited by Encik Selsema. Im telling you. Im sneezing like there's no tomorrow. An entire towel has been dedicated to attend to my nose-blowing needs.

Pah. I know wanting two other people to be identified H1N1 positive is a selfish SELFISH wish, but i didnt want those two to be meeeeee!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaa. tak nak kena quarantine. cough, flu, shoo! Go awayy! Ive no intentions of erecting my white flags to you. Scram you annoying sickness!

Tak mau swine flu. Tak mau. Tak mau.

p/s: hina gila kalau muka saya keluar newspaper 'Natasha disahkan mati kerana selsema babi'.

the most painful thing in the world (exaggerated version)

it slowly fades away.
and now its gone.
and you can imagine my disappointment when you went away.

i cant talk to anyone.
i just cant.
i dont even have the heart to light up and puff everything away.
i can no longer be jolly and sing at the top of my lungs.

i cant. i cant.

because the darn sore throat kidnapped my voice.

sexy la sangat.

the one sickness that i hate the most in life.

sore throat.

of aaaaaaaaaaaaallll the common sickness, i hate it the most when i lose my voice.

tak larat bgn, takpe.

cant stop coughing, takpe.

having to blow my nose every 1 min, takpe.

not being able to speak properly and be heard? oh. tak boleh.

tsk.

one good thing coming out from this is I can sing Macy Gray's I Try with this konon konon husky voice now!

LOL

chopped up penis?

i had to summarize the injuries in the production line of the company im working in.

so, while googling different types of cut, i found this on Yahoo Answers:

Question:
I got a injury/cut while shaving my privat part ,penis.blood flow from it,injury is deep,i feel shy of consult.

(please abai kan the grammar. Dude's probably from Romania or something.)

Here are some of the feedbacks received:

1)you should see a doctor if you have hair on your penis. there shouldn't be any hair for you to shave off of there.

2)Do you feel shy enough to bleed to death?\

3)Serves you right for being such a pantywaist. If your girl told you it's sexy to jump off a bridge would you do that too? Serves you right for being a pussywhipped little wimp.

4)it would b more embarrassing if you die because of it ....think about it

and my favourite:

5) cut it off so you'll never have to worry about it ever again

honestly, PEOPLE!!!! Give the poor dude with half a penis a break!

LOL. i still cant stop laughing.