Wednesday, November 28, 2012

There's ALWAYS a Reason.

There's always a reason.

If there's anything that my engineering education has taught me, it is this. Anything that moves will stay in its motion and direction until an external force is exerted on it, changing its course. This external force is the reason.

There's a reason why you got trapped in traffic with a friend whom you have a lot to catch up on.

There's a reason why randomly touching stranger's hair (even little girls') in an elevator is frowned upon by society (because it's weird).

There's a reason why some questions take a longer time to be answered than others.
There's a reason for lovers becoming strangers. And strangers becoming friends.

There's a reason for goodbyes. And a reason for hellos.

There's a reason why you need to get away.
And another for you to come back.

There's a reason why I wrote this.
And there's a reason why you're reading it.

There's always a reason.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Lunar Blues

The full moon is peeking at me from beneath the clouds - only showing glimpses at a time. 
It is as if the moon is not quite ready to share its greatness with me.

And so I lay sprawled on my back,
silently urging the moon to come out and show itself to me,
yearning for a little piece of magic. 


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My Cookie Jar

My excited squeal resembled more of a 5 year old finally getting her small hand into a humongous cookie jar after weeks of eyeing said jar. Except that i'm not 5 and it wasn't the content of a cookie jar i was getting excited about!

The forecast predicted a thunderstorm.
In this day of tsunamis and hurricanes, that is not a prediction you would want to hear when you are heading to the beach.

Fortunately enough for us, Nature decided to pick our side and give the forecast a run for its money.
The sky was completely cloudless and the whole stretch of infinity was filled with scattered stars for as far as your eyes can take in.

"We're dancing beneath the stars!! I dont't care about the fact that I sound corny saying this! Hell man! We're dancing beneath the stars!!"

And my friends - they just beamed and nodded, because there wasn't much else to say to that.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Take Me Away

I still can't quite believe that we're closing in on mid-November already.
In my head, it's still 2009, so each time the calendar reminds me that it's not, it usually leaves me a little dumbfounded (and I will put on my 'broken machine' act that involves having a monologue that goes along the "2012 is almost over. i can't believe this, i can't!" line being played on repeat in my head for a couple of seconds - sometimes, minutes).

I'll be leaving, in a day's time.
A much needed break, I think.
I'll come back (invigorated, I hope) and possibly continue fretting on and on about how fast time flies (Tch! As if people didn't already know!)

Yesterday, on the streets, i saw people holding hands and not holding hands,
People flicking cigarettes and pushing strollers.

But tomorrow,
tomorrow I will smell salt in the air,
and have sand grains in my hair.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Sun and Moon. Sand and Wave.

Everything in the world is of equal balance.
Every yin has a yang.
I believe this is important to ensure that the Universe is in equilibrium.

You know at which point a relationship becomes dissatisfying?
When it's unbalanced, that's when!
When you give one month's worth of sentiments in a two month's relationship.
THAT is when it will feel unworthy.

So now you have two options :
Give it all you've got and milk its worth for as long as it lasts
Cut your losses early - as soon as you feel like you have nothing more to give.
 - not a feel, not a care
Let it go.

Life is short.
Go for what you want. And go for what wants you.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

We Loved With A Love That Was More Than Love

I love driving by myself at night, when the sky is pitch grey, and it feels like i'm floating in space.

There's nothing else.
There's only Quiet, the Night Sky, Light Speckles and THIS playing in the background :

The best thing about these drives on these nights is that you go places, you travel - both physically and of the mind.

On any particular night,
my trail of thoughts are bound to jump from one seed of theory onto another,
and it is not particularly necessary to have a hypothesis drawn from this random jumps. .
Not on nights like these, anyway.

Today, for no more reason other than me feeling like it, I'll let the virtual world take a peek into my trail of thoughts.

One time,
I thought that Love is not being with someone because you need them in your life. Love is wanting to be with someone even though you don't need them.
I truly, with all my heart, place my belief in that.
After all, God is Almighty and Fair. 
If you were meant to fall in love and consequently, develop the need for this person to be around in order for you to be happy and vice versa, then whatever's gonna happen to one of you when the other person cease to exist?
No no no. That really can't be the conclusion.
Life is supposed to be good, and a relationship with this other person just makes it even better. That's how it should be. It shouldn't have to mean being stripped off from your survival capability the very moment your partner is no longer part of the picture.

In another fragment of time,
I'll remember the words of Yasmin Mogahed, in an article called Nameless.

There's salvation in admitting defeat.
The peace of prostration.
Just stay still in that position,
With your head lowered.
Stay humbled.
Stay lowered. Until He raises you. 
They've searched the world
for what can be found in the quietest corners of a room.
They search a million words for what can only be found in silence.
They create a million names for the nameless.
For what can only be found in wordless thought.
Nameless states. 
Maybe I need to live between,
Between the words, the heart,
the space between earth and sky. 
Maybe I could live there.
In the space between knowledge and understanding.
Between love and letting go.
In the place where it stops hurting to be so far away.
In the nameless.

And then, jump, to another thought.

In explaining this particular thought, i will need to, once again, borrow the words of the more eloquent.

There are at least 2 types of love.  
There will be some people you love because of what you get from them :
 what they give you, the way they make you feel.
This is perhaps the majority of love - which is also what makes much of love so unstable. 
But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love - not for what they give you - but for what they are.
The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them.
Now, suddenly, it isn't about what you're getting, but rather what you can give.
This is unselfish love.
This second type of love is the most rare.
And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. 
To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations - all the ingredients for misery and disappointment. 



There's so many things happening all at once, it sometimes gets a little overwhelming trying to make sense of them all.
An endless amount of 'figuring out' left to do.

But it's okay, because as of right now, the drive is over.
These trail of thoughts will be continued. Next drive, maybe.
On a similar night in the future :
Where there's only Quiet, the Night Sky, Light Speckles and THIS playing in the background :