Tuesday, November 6, 2012

We Loved With A Love That Was More Than Love

I love driving by myself at night, when the sky is pitch grey, and it feels like i'm floating in space.

There's nothing else.
There's only Quiet, the Night Sky, Light Speckles and THIS playing in the background :

The best thing about these drives on these nights is that you go places, you travel - both physically and of the mind.

On any particular night,
my trail of thoughts are bound to jump from one seed of theory onto another,
and it is not particularly necessary to have a hypothesis drawn from this random jumps. .
Not on nights like these, anyway.

Today, for no more reason other than me feeling like it, I'll let the virtual world take a peek into my trail of thoughts.

One time,
I thought that Love is not being with someone because you need them in your life. Love is wanting to be with someone even though you don't need them.
I truly, with all my heart, place my belief in that.
After all, God is Almighty and Fair. 
If you were meant to fall in love and consequently, develop the need for this person to be around in order for you to be happy and vice versa, then whatever's gonna happen to one of you when the other person cease to exist?
No no no. That really can't be the conclusion.
Life is supposed to be good, and a relationship with this other person just makes it even better. That's how it should be. It shouldn't have to mean being stripped off from your survival capability the very moment your partner is no longer part of the picture.

In another fragment of time,
I'll remember the words of Yasmin Mogahed, in an article called Nameless.

There's salvation in admitting defeat.
The peace of prostration.
Just stay still in that position,
With your head lowered.
Stay humbled.
Stay lowered. Until He raises you. 
They've searched the world
for what can be found in the quietest corners of a room.
They search a million words for what can only be found in silence.
They create a million names for the nameless.
For what can only be found in wordless thought.
Nameless states. 
Maybe I need to live between,
Between the words, the heart,
the space between earth and sky. 
Maybe I could live there.
In the space between knowledge and understanding.
Between love and letting go.
In the place where it stops hurting to be so far away.
In the nameless.

And then, jump, to another thought.

In explaining this particular thought, i will need to, once again, borrow the words of the more eloquent.

There are at least 2 types of love.  
There will be some people you love because of what you get from them :
 what they give you, the way they make you feel.
This is perhaps the majority of love - which is also what makes much of love so unstable. 
But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love - not for what they give you - but for what they are.
The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them.
Now, suddenly, it isn't about what you're getting, but rather what you can give.
This is unselfish love.
This second type of love is the most rare.
And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. 
To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations - all the ingredients for misery and disappointment. 



There's so many things happening all at once, it sometimes gets a little overwhelming trying to make sense of them all.
An endless amount of 'figuring out' left to do.

But it's okay, because as of right now, the drive is over.
These trail of thoughts will be continued. Next drive, maybe.
On a similar night in the future :
Where there's only Quiet, the Night Sky, Light Speckles and THIS playing in the background :


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