Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Annoying People Yang Patut Kena Sembur Ridsect Dalam Mulut

ok.
im giving up trying to study Design of Offshore Structures.
The oil rigs can go calculate their own tension for all i care.
(angkat white flag)

in order to destress,
i have decided that i am going to pick on people to bash on.
and as the title suggest,
these are the kinds of people whose mouth i would love to spray insecticide aerosol in
(failing to find one, pepper spray would do just as fine).

and no, before you ask me why i'm so angry,
let me clarify that im happy and dandy,
im just doing this because im a sarcastic bitch.
XD

orang pertama yang patut ditembak:
orang yang cakap gebang

they will brag about unnecessary things that people dont even give a fuck about pun actually.
when you talk to them, you'll find out that theyre good in EVERYTHING.
cakap je, semua diorg hebat.

nak cakap pasal photography? they take the best damned picture.
camera diorang yang paling high end,
their equipments are the best there is in the market,
people would pay them a fortune to take photos.
(tapi bila tengok their portfolio, takde la lawa mana pun gambar. biasa je)

nak cakap pasal music?
oh diorang la paling knowledgable.
sebut je band apa, semua dia tahu.
diorang dengar semua lagu, dari Billy Talent sampai Britney Spears, gossip semua dalam tangan.
and about instrument, jangan cakap la.
Mereka ni goreng lagi hebat dari Jimi Hendrix.
yang main bass, apa yang dia tak blh buat,
slap pop just name it.
bila cerita kat orang about the effects that theyre capable of pulling,
woahh! hot-daymn.
(buat bunyi guitar pakai mulut je boleh la bang. main betul betul tengok? nak tune gitar sendiri pun tak reti)

pendek cerita,
life diorang lah yang paling best.
awek paling hot.
boyfriend paling kacak.
rumah paling banglo and mahal.
barang nak yang designer goods aje
(padahal macam orang tak tau je itu imitation. bukan semua orang noob, kau nak tipu yes?)

Wahai manusia,
its okay not to be perfect in everything you do.
if you are sincere enough, people will love you despite the flaws.
ni, cakap letup, last last orang benci juga kan? :)

orang kedua yang patut ditembak:
orang yang ada BO tapi suka pinjam baju orang lepas tu tak basuh for an entire sem sampai baju berkulat

true story.
kalau anda ada masalah hygienic, takpe lagi.
but please la. take a hint when people find an excuse to tutup hidung whenever u go and hug them.
duduk diam diam and tak perlu peluk orang kalau anda ada body odour.
ok?

and even if you adore your friend's baju and intend to buat baju tu jadi harta,
you dont have to perap the shirt yang dah drenched in ur sweat macam la nak marinate ayam buat BBQ.
the smell travels ok?
im pretty sure the owner would rather have you just tell them that you dont intend to pulang kan the baju balik.

(okay okay. saya mengaku. yang ini terpersonal sikit. heheh)

orang ketiga yang patut ditembak
orang yang buat uncalled-for bitchy remarks

"Eh kenapa hidung you besar aa?"
"Kau cepat mengah bila naik tangga sebab kau gemuk sangat kot"
"Ala, saya tak kisah pun tak pergi birthday party awak semalam. Saya dengar orang cakap bukan nya best sangat pun."
"OMG. U tak faham lagi ke equation ni? Gila lembap!"
"Theme untuk dinner batch ni bodoh dan tak sesuai. To the person who wrote this blogpost, (a much vulgar Malay word for ass) kau besar. Aku tak nak datang dinner ni"

Seriously wei?
WTF?
you werent taught good manners ke as a child?

what do you get for being such an asshole?
satisfaction?
oh well then , i hope all the dosa gives you just as much kepuasan then.

okay.
i gotta run to class now.
I'll come back and continue the second bit.
:)


13 comments:

cHeRyNa PiReS said...

org macam nieh...mase student boleh gebang besar. tiba waktu keje...terhangak2 tak reti buat keje (but still nak cakap besar la!)

kalo manners takde pedulikanlah. because tak lapar kalau tak makan kate2 bangang org macam tuh (eh, nape statementku plak yg emo)

sori dik...:)

Igniz said...

if i ever become like any one of these types of people, do shoot me in the head like the ones they did in Counter-Strike. please. :)

farhazoeLa said...

i adore ur writing beb.
thats y i love reading it.
anyway, siapekah semua people yang u mention? haha.

x2, i just main2 je tanye.
then, continue more, i wanna read them all. okay~
hehe.

Merissa K. said...

Kak Sha:
sekeh je orang mcm tu. saya bg green light! haha!

Igniz:
i wont tembak. pepper spray dalam tangan la tapi nya. hoho.

Farha:
awwww thank you thank you. terharu. haha. siapa orang tu? hee. lagi sekali dia cari pasal dengan i, i disclose nama! XD

Field Engineer Mangkuk said...

hah, pipeline engineer.

aku nak kawan....

afeeya said...

I pun ade kenal orang cam tu (the first one). Bapak tak sedar diri sialll... cerita nak gebang je!! Semua benda die tau, semua die cakap semua betul... malas gila la nak layan pls!!! annoying kan? kan kan?

s h a g o o said...

i bole tolong spraykann~

Merissa K. said...

Field Engineer:
heehh. bukan pipeline laah. civil saja. :) tapi blh je kawan kan kan? :)

Afiah:
macam nyamuk yang super massive besar!!! sangat kan kan kan!~!!! heheheeh.

Shagoo:
i tau u mampu. LOL. (balik nanti i kasi aerosol 31 tin, u tolong spray kan uhh?)

Fatul Akrul Ramli said...

suppose to be lots more people yg perlu ditembak.. nerds, bitches.. arghh.. so many to be listed.. they deserve a ridsect.. haha..

Merissa K. said...

oh sabar dulu encik. itu baru part one. karang saya dah habis assignment saya sambung lagi. XD

A. Afiq A. Malik said...

Haha. Lepas siapkan assignment sambung lagi!

Haha.

Merissa,

Betul punya marah kau ni.

Merissa K. said...

Ala Afit, saya penat penat letak part ini :

and no, before you ask me why i'm so angry,
let me clarify that im happy and dandy,
im just doing this because im a sarcastic bitch.
XD

for your benefit.
saya tak marah laaaaa. :) awak pernah ke tengok saya marah pun in real life? tak pernah kan kan kaaaan. XD

correction : lepas siapkan 5 assignment, 1 report dan belajar utk 2 test saya sambung. :)

s h a g o o said...

with pleasure me love.

bring it on!

*31 tin = 31 org? ramai betul manusia manusia yg menjengkelkan u, kann tasha? haha!*