Sunday, June 12, 2011

lost

i did not stop writing because i dont care.
in fact, it's quite the opposite.
i stopped writing (as much) because i care too much.

i care that the society that we are living in is hypocritical in nature.
i care that people are selfish.
and i care that they are hard to please.

and i am part people, part society.
so yes, im aware that i am also a part of all the traits that i mentioned above.

picture this.
a couple is sitting side by side,
and lets say the girl tells the guy that she got a new job.
an opportunity of a lifetime - in another country.

so,

Situation A : he makes a fuss about it, because moving so far away insinuates jeopardizing the relationship. she gets upset because he's being selfish and asks herself why couldnt he just be happy for her.

Situation B : he smiles and congratulates her for getting the job. and he tells her to go for it. she gets upset because it seems like it didnt matter to him one bit being far away from her.

see? hard to please.

still not convinced?

okay, lets take the issue of cronyism.

If somebody gets a job over you because they know somebody important, you call it cronyism. but if you get that job over others because you know somebody important, then you call it networking.
Selective truthfulness - hypocrisy at its worst (or best?)

People are unpredictable, and they are constantly changing (as am I) and that scares me more than anything else. Because i never know if i've said too much or too little, if i have screwed up or if it's still fixable.

There are just too many things to be said, but I'm afraid i'm not in the best state of mind to say them all. Perhaps when I've gotten better, i'll come back and splash my soul to these pages. Perhaps.

In the meantime, just know that i still care and probably always will. I just need to find the words because as of now, I am kind of lost.

6 comments:

Akulah Aqilah Itu said...

Susahkan? I do that myself sometimes. And I never got to figure out why.

GGK said...

moving so far away doess jeopardize relationship, its not like pergi bekursus ke apa... you practically MOVE your life else where and you hope that thingy call LOVE will steadfast.

Its not... (to be fair 80% will not)

-=ggk=-

Merissa K. said...

Aqilah :
because we are human, simple as that. (i think lah. because otherwise, what other reasons could there be kan?)

GGK :
ahh, but it's not the moving away that i'm focusing on, it's the reaction to the news. (i have been watching Grey's Anatomy too much i think)

ururu said...

Grey's Anatomy? so thats why.. lol

lolahunny said...

tasha, jangan stress.
hehe i made this funny video with my housemates... tengok k.

http://lifeofhunnybunny.blogspot.com/2011/06/i-love-nasi-lemak.html


re post it if u think it is funny. I hope it makes you laugh

i miss home.

Merissa K. said...

ururu :
that's why awat? heheh.

hani :
it did cheer me up. thank you very much nasi lemak lover. ;) love youuu