its 9pm and im still at the office

this is gonna be a really deep and corny one.
bear with me.
(kalau tak suka, boleh berhenti baca dan pergi main jauh jauh)

im in this unpopable bubble living in my own world.
i cherish the fact that my parents are (in my opinion) uber cool and understanding. and perhaps, the fact that they might have given up on lecturing me sebab penat diorg ckp, tak pernah saya nak dengar.

my mom is one of my closest friend.
or at least she used to be.
ive been studying in UTP for four years now and every single day, without fail she would call me in the range of 1-3 times.

and bukan bual yang pendek pendek yer? ni stock yang gayut dgn boyfriend ckp 47 minutes each phone call utk update the new breakups and gambar pool party tersebar di internet(dalam utp saja setahu saya).

and my dad, he's the funniest. he's more serious now though. but at random times, he'll crack up the funniest joke. you should hear his indian impersonation! gelak guling guling saya dengar. (meet me personally, ill show you the impersonation. :P oh and to nadim and as, saya tak racist! hoho)

my sister. she's 8 years younger than me. but for all i know, she should be 8 years older. she's so freaking responsible and she loves me to bits(i swear to God im not making this up!). That 13 year old scrawny model-wannabe bugger will help me korek her own tabung in the occasion that i dont have enough money to buy ciggie/isi minyak kereta to go to work/shopping baju murah at bijou bazaar.
Yes yes im evil mcm kakak tiri Cinderella.

My sister does most of the work at home. And she listens to me more than she listens to my mom. Konon konon, nak jadi cool. Though ive never told her this, but i love that kid to bits. If she's not around, tak tau lah. Huhu.

I am always this ego bastard when it comes to showing emotions to my family. I love them and im telling you, i appreciate them but i rarely let it show. I dont know why.

And today, for the first time in a veeeeery long while, i realized how mean i can sometimes be. How i should show them that i like being around them. And how i wish i couldve been a better role model to my siblings.

This is sappy, i know. But to think about it, i probably dont deserve half the respect that i get. I rarely help out at home(because im rarely home). Im never around in the weekends. I dont hangout and do family things with them anymore.

Sheesh. I dont even wanna think about the shitty things that ive done.

I feel like going home today and giving them all a huge bear hug after this.
But its sad to know that i probably wont.

Ish Sha, jangan ego sangat please?