of P. Ramlee and how Malaysians don't learn from past mistakes

cewah.
title blog tak nak panjang gila kan?
haha.

i saw the documentary of P. Ramlee on History channel.

(mula mula tension sebab Si Rambut Kembang tukar channel sebab masa tu tengah excited nak tengok cerita apa tah kat 413 haha. nasib baik the documentary was well worth it).

Lepas habis tengok, terus terkilan tertekan.

The man was a legend.
But he did not get the recognition and treatment that he deserved until long after his death,
which pretty much doesnt count dah kan?

(and after all these years of idolizing him, i never knew this!)
 

1. He was the 'anak ikan' of Shaw Brothers. A successful man like him are bound to be subjected to evil glares of others. Having been given special treatment over all the other directors, he became the bull's eye of their dart boards. Using their connection with the media, they managed to curb stories about P. Ramlee's success and brilliance from reaching the society.

2. He was well recognized internationally, but was criticized in Malaya.

3. During the Pop Yeh Yeh era, P. Ramlee was boo-ed on stage because his songs were already 'lapuk' by then and nobody wanted to listen to them.

4. After producing more than 360 songs for EMI, they one decided to tell him 'im sorry, we're not going to continue your contract with us because your album dah tak laku'.

aaaaah, the list of frustration goes and on and on.
just typing about it is giving me a headache.
and considering that i need my sanity so that i can study for my final exams, i shall stop listing it out.
you can read about it here and here if you're curious.

My point is, some things never change.

Allahyarham P. Ramlee was recognized at an international level, but he was shunned by his own countrymen. On the day that he died, there weren't even any food at home. Saloma didn't even have enough money to pay for his funeral. And his family couldn't even claim the royalty for his songs because even though he wrote the whole thing by himself, it wasnt copyrighted under his name.

It's just sad to know that 'our people' has been acting like this from dulu sampai la sekarang.
At the sight of somebody being more successful, we freak out and do all we can to bring that person down.

Ugh. Ugh. 

I take the 'we' back in the statement above.

(i initially thought that using 'we' would make it seem less like i'm pointing fingers at others, but being included in 'we' makes me feel disgusted with myself)

Surprise surprise,
Yasmin Ahmad was treated pretty much the same.
The genius in her movies were often misconstrued as something that it is not.
Her films are sought-after on an international level, and yet Malaysia refused to show her films as they are 'controversial'.
It was only after her death that they decided to air it.

I've lost my mood.

Can't write what i originally wanted to write.

So im gonna stop now.

Bye.

P/s : BTW, check out Amir Muhammad's  article on P. Ramlee foreseeing the future that is Facebook here.

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

If you got here expecting to read a medical observation, you are in the wrong place.
This is just a rant, with no solid facts at all.
Go on. Hit the 'X' button, i will not be offended, i promise.
:)

anyway,

ive had a few telltale symptoms of OCPD.

then again, maybe it is just a few perfectionist traits due to my being born under the Virgo sign

but then OCPD sounds more fun! 

heheh. so im gonna stick to it.

im getting giddy, so im listing out a few of my quirks :

1. each time i write notes for class or exams, it has to have more than one colour. that is why i never go to class without my colour pens. in fact, it is so bad there was this one time that i had only just covered one out of ten topics for my paper which was due the next day, and i refused to simply doodle some quick notes using just my pencil. even though im just rewriting other people's notes or doing past year papers, the answer has to be neatly written in at least two colours. otherwise, i wouldnt be able to remember what ive written.

2. the work that i send in has to be perfect by my standard. lets say ive got an assignment that consists of 3 questions. if i only manage to get the answers for two of the questions, but not for the last one, i would rather not send in the assignment at all. -_-'

3. my room is a mess most of the time. but each time i want to study, the room has to be spick and span. (kalau tak, memang jam, baca apa pun tak kan boleh masuk). that is probably why last minute studying has proven to be ineffective in my case. because ill spend more time cleaning the pig-sty of a room than actually studying. 

4. at certain times, i will have a random need to read a certain book out loud. i dont know why, but i just have to do it. during this 'storytelling' phase, i will read a book and each time i mispronounce a word, i have to re-read from the top page. it is tedious and seriously annoying but i seriously cant stop doing it. 

5. every single time i park my car, after a few seconds, ill walk back towards the car to make sure that ive locked it. and it's pathetic because i know for sure that the first thing i do after getting out from the car is to lock it. yet, i have to make sure. every single time. it doesnt sound so bad if im just a few steps away from the car when the compulsion hits me. but sometimes ill be in the shopping mall, a few floors away from where i parked my car, and like it or not, i just have to walk back to the car to make sure that it has been locked. it's either that or i have to spend the rest of the time worrying about my car being stolen. 

this is getting a tad bit long and a tad bit embarrassing. so im gonna stop. 

have YOU got OCD/OCPD tendency? ;)

Minggu ni Arsenal tak berapa handsome?

i was watching Champion's League highlights tadi.

tiba tiba tension sebab Arsenal tak capable of playing a fast-paced game (well, ok perhaps Walcott was fast and he did overrun the two Shakhtar Donesk players, but we lost the game anyway didnt we?)

maybe i should stop following EPL and support Ajax and just watch Champion Leagues instead. 

it's a tempting thought. 

for a start, i dont have to be frustrated with Arsenal week in week out. 

aaaaand, the MU fans would probably get off my back over games that funnily enough, i do not play in but somehow get made fun of.

GARR. 

sense of loyalty hmph!. 

-_-'

(hahaha bitter gila ntah apa apa ntah)

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book

Ika's mom is going to move to Labuan soon and she would be leaving all her books behind. Being a sucker for freebies, I hogged three huge paperbags of books that should last me til next June or so.

I have just finished lining them up on the rack (according to height!) and am about to cry because it already looks like a mini library :')
crying over a book shelf would definitely put me under the 'psycho' list, so ive decided to blog about it instead (as a way to stop the tears from making a debut).

And yes, a part of me just wants to show off. :P

1) State of Fear - Michael Crichton
2) The Terminal Man - Michael Crichton
3) Noble House - James Clavell
4) Absolute Proof - Stephen Frey
5) Justice - Faye Kelleman
6) Life of Pi - Yann Marcel
7) Primary Colours - Anonymous
8) Bleachers - John Grisham
9) Inside The Kingdom - Carmen bin Laden
10) Dolores Clairborne - Stephen King
11) Dreamcatcher - Stephen King
12) Twelve Red Herrings - Jeffrey Archer
13) Black Market - James Patterson
14) Hide and Seek - James Patterson
15) The Doomsday Conspiracy - Sidney Sheldon
16) The Stars Shine Down - Sidney Sheldon
17) It Is Bliss Here - Myles Hildyard
18) Dead Air - Iain Banks
19) Walking on Glass - Iain Banks
20) Canal Dreams - Iain Banks
21) Ash Wednesday - Ethan Hawke
22) Brother Odd - Dean Koontz
23) A Darkness More Than Night - Michael Connelly
24) Vanished - Danielle Steel
25) Mixed Blessings - Danielle Steel
26) The Hot Zone - Richard Preston
27) There Is No Me Without You - Melissa Fay Greene
28) La Prisonniere - Malika Oufkir and Michele Fitoussi
29) Revolusi Mental Mahathir - Yahaya Ismail

karma schmarma.

im the kind of person who constantly needs to talk.
it's more of a sickness, really, if i were to be honest.
each time i'm faced with a new set of problems, my friends (and their respective ears) are the ones that suffer.

i have a raging need to voice something out loud in order for my brain to compute it.

(as im writing, im feeling very sympathetic towards my friends. you see, i can be obsessive at times. ahh, who am i kidding, i obsess ALL the time. i can talk about a stupid topic for hours and hours. and now i think i ought to personally thank all of you for still wanting to befriend me. ngehh)

my parents once told me though,

whatever it is that you want the world to see, you need not show. if you are sincere enough, one day, at the right time, the world will realize it all on its own accord, without any coercion on your part. 

which brings me to the realization that perhaps, you ought not be talking about negative things. like, your fears and your dark issues and well, things that you intend to forget.

this is not optimism talking. it really isn't.
it's just well, common sense.

constantly talking about something will not provide the issue with any solution, i can vouch for that. all it makes you do is worry more and more about something that might or might not even happen. and well, to be honest, if you focus on something more than you should, it has a tendency of propelling you out of control.

so you want to forget about a bad breakup.

why the hell are you still talking about the heartbreaker to your friends?

you keep telling yourself and everybody who's listening that you want to forget all about the jerk who broke your heart, and the awful things that the person has done to you.
talking about it relentlessly will NOT give you what you need to move on and walk away.

but then again, if anybody were to tell me this a few months back, i would probably ignore it and do whatever the hell i want anyway.

so yeah.

haha.

How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.

pantun attempt #1

rintik rintik di balik jendela
bagai menyanyi lagu di hati
dijentik jentik hati yang lara
mengharap senyum terukir kembali

Arsenal vs. Manchester City

fuh.

after 45 minutes of nail-biting, they made a comeback.

Nasir, Bendtner, Song,

tonight korang lelaki paling handsome atas muka bumi! 

:)

Thank you Fabianski, for not pulling a Rob Green.

Thank you Adebayor, for the almost-own-goal. It wouldve been so much better if it wasnt an 'almost'. Imagine the entire Arsenal team sliding in front of Man City's supporters, showing off,  just like you did last season. Imagine. Fuh. That would be swell!

Thank you.

Thank you for not being a disappointment tonight.

Thank you for this feeling of triumph! (you know how long it has been..)

Thank you for making it worth skipping studying for my test. 

:)

of being content and uncertainties

Iylia Elena once told me :

The line between your love for something and your pride of ownership over it is very thin. 

Boy! I hate it when she's right (which is pretty much all the time)!

When something goes wrong, being human, we tend to point the finger elsewhere. But like love, mishaps too, take two to tango. As much as it sucks being in the wrong, you can't deny that you too, have erred.

Wanting to be a part of someone's life is only understandable, especially when you're in love. But it is never okay to take full part. Your life is yours, and your partner's life is theirs. Some space, are simply not meant to be invaded.

With that,

*inhale* *exhale*

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it is not, then it's not the end."

because we are as we are

while i still have a smidgen of rage in me (which will hopefully help this post write by itself), i guess i should write.

Something. Anything.

life gives us not answers but instead,
it poses questions.

and if you get it correct,
you would know,
because it would feel right.

as im hovering
neither here nor there
grasping for hints
to guide me through it all,
i float higher
i sink lower
but i am as i am
and the world is what it is

Alas,
even if you do not make a decision, the universe will make one for you.

putus jari boleh jahit, putus hati?

di saat aku berdosa dan kamu berdosa.
di saat aku terleka dan kamu berahsia.
di saat ragu pilu menghentam dada.
di saat itu lahir curiga.

my brother, the clown.

i dont get why my room is so hot.
panas. panas. panas.
im living in fear of getting heat stroke while im sleeping!
tuh. tuh.

ok dah habis merengek.

anyway, my parents have always had this strict restriction :
no boyfriend/girlfriend until after high school.

perhaps that was why i never had a boyfriend until lah masuk university. (wahahaha, in denial gila! padahal time sekolah selekeh gila mana ada orang nak buat girlfriend!)

back to my story.
my brother (the only boy among us) is 10 just got ratted by our lil sister.
She told the parents that he has a girlfriend called something or other.

Mom : Hakim ada girlfriend? Kan Papa dah cakap dulu, no girlfriends until habis sekolah!

Hakim : Eleh biar lah.Papa lain, Hakim lain.

Mom : Girlfriend Hakim cantik tak?

Hakim : Mestilah cantik!

Mom : Tak pun biar Mama je lah cari kan. Nak tak?

Hakim : Tak mau!!! Kalau Mama yang pilih mesti Mama cari yang solehah.

-_-'

randomites.

1. im having one of those days. that day where i feel like strangling strangers.

2. ive been stuck at Freecell game #169 for thirty minutes and i still havent been able to solve it. at this rate i will be 45 when i finally finish game #1000000.

3. FRIENDS is still the only thing that's making me feel better on an awful day.

4. i used to think that Kristin Stewart was an abysmal actress. turns out it was just Bella Swan who was an airhead. 

5. the idea of synchronised swimming is really appealing right now, but i cant even swim to begin with so i might as well forget it.

6. i really dig Kevin McHale who plays the dude in the wheelchair in Glee. comellll.

Unwelcome Words

i was re-reading Amir Muhammad's piece for New Malaysian Essays 1 : Unwelcome Words when my OCD side of the brain refuses to read on without highlighting ones that i particularly like.

Anak ikan :
Catamite ; a young man, perhaps barely past the age of consent, used for sexual purposes. Has both heterosexual and homosexual connotations and so, in the parlance of personal ads, it's a 'versatile' phrase. From the Malay 'little fish' which you can swallow whole without worrying about de-boning.
"The actress Rosnah Mat Aris got into trouble for speaking too enthusiastically about her alleged anak ikan on a talk show."

Apanama :

Malay for 'Whatsisname'. To say this while searching your mental database for the person's name might signify a kind of lofty contempt. Popularised by former Prime Minister Tun Mahathis Mohamad, who used it all the time during interviews, although the word would usually be edited out by the time it appeared in the print media.

"That anak ikan of hers... apanama... Adam was just in here looking for DVDs."

Cable :
Denotes crony connections. A stronger version of 'pulling strings'. Despite the government's persistent attempts to encourage transparency and openness, some spoilsports insist on doing business this way!
"That bugger should not have been promoted so quickly, but he has cable."

Chu kia :

Of inferior quality. From the Hokkien, 'make/work false.'

"That sex video recording is not so chu kia, they used four cameras!"

Feng tau :
Chinese techno music, that is associated in the popular imagination with the XTC drug, the consumption of mineral water, dark places, laser strobe lights, and throbbingly insistent songs that consist of the repetition of the same 5 words. From the Cantonese, 'shake head.'/
"I tried to concentrate on Trigonometry despite the feng tau from across the road."

Kau tim :

To settle a debt or seal a deal. From the Cantonese, 'play finish.'

"The cop stopped me for speeding but he was such an obliging bugger that RM5 was enough to kau tim."

Line clear :
This is a bit more than 'the coast is clear', it means that there are no further impediments to success. Probably after you have kau tim with the right people. One of Malaysia's most commercially successful film directors, Razak Mohaideen, uses it for his company name, although here it might mean he's so attuned to what the public wants it's like he gets a good radio signal.
"After he married the leader's daughter, it was line clear for him."

Muka seposen :

To look pitiful ; sometimes a useful tool for the passive aggresive type. Literally Malay 'ten-sen face', as if that person were a beggar who would be content with such a small amount. 

"Get that lancau and his muka seposen out of here or I will lanyak him."

Porah/podah :
Go away, sometimes in a figurative sense of 'Get outta here!' from the Tamil.
"When the DVD scandal broke, he insisted he wouldn't resign, but everyone else told him to porah."

Projek :

Malay sland for 'illicit sex' ; because the way projects are awarded in Malaysia also involves lies subterfuge and some cleaning up afterwards.

"They decided the movie was poyo and so they porah to the staircase to projek."

Rempit :
Young Malay males on motorcycles, who conduct illegal street races and inspire hit movies. The Dictionary defines the word only as 'to hit with a rattan cane' but this now probably refers to a fantasy punishment for the racers.

Sabo :

Short for sabotage. 

"We were about to projek last night but some guard sabo our plans by locking up the staircase."

Skandal :
A sex partner with whom you have no emotional bond.
"He was driving back with his skandal when they were overtaken by a bunch of samseng rempit types."

Skodeng :

Peeping tom. Someone who spies on, and maybe takes secret recordings of courting couples while they projek in parks and staircases. 

"There was a suggestion in Terengganu in early 2007 to recruit skodeng to become religious vigilantes, all in the name of vice reduction."

I would seriously suggest all of you to get a copy of New Malaysian Essays. They are in their 3rd edition already as of now. 

It's really good to know that there are plenty of unconventional published writers who writes with real essence as compared to those sappy Malay 'romance' novels and Malay chic-lit with predictable story line. At least these people won't kill your brain cells simply through their writing. :)

 

Arsenal vs. Chelsea

1. Benci tak bila 1st, 2nd, 8th, 28th minute ada goal attempt tapi haram satu pun tak masuk?

2. Benci tak bila match against big teams je tak boleh nak menang? Nak seri pun susah. Kalau setakat menang dengan West Brom Bolton and the likes je buat apaaaaa.

3. Benci tak bila there's nothing to be proud of sebab team sendiri dah bertahun tahun tak menang league?

4. Benci tak bila Arshavin perform the first few games je lepas tu showed the world that he's just an old guy who cant even run properly after the ball?

5. Benci tak bila ball possession dah 62-38 to our advantage pun still tak boleh score lagi?

6. Benci tak bila Chelsea's first goal was by accident terkena kaki sekali heyyyyy WTF MASUK PULAAAAKKKK? Dah lepas tu Drogba boleh bajet Elvis pulak tepi padang. Hotdaymn.

7. Benci tak bila player Arsenal lembik gila sikit sikit nak injured?

8. Benci tak bila tengok Koscielny macam takde contribution? Since his debut, kerja asyik nak injured, lepas tu kena yellow card. Pfft.

9. Benci tak bila ada striker yang tak reti nak tendang bola, reti header je. (read : Chamakh)

10. Benci tak bila Fabregas takde, it's as if semua orang doesnt have a clue what to do and bercamaraderie di atas padang? 

11. Benci tak bila delay journey nak balik UTP just to watch the game tapi kalah bodoh macam ni?

12. Benci tak bila in addition to all these, ada suara suara sumbang bahan Arsenal dengan semangat sebab pergi tengok bola dekat area Chelsea's supporters?

BENCI.

I repeat. BENCI. 

p/s : tapi at least Arsenal tak kalah dengan Blackpool dekat turf sendiri, unlike some people. hahahah. (cheap shot, i know)

God's Existence.

If God does not exist, 

that means heaven does not exist either. 

And that means the world's poor,

those millions who live in poverty and oppresion,

will never go to heaven. 

And if that is so, 

then how do you explain all the suffering of the poor?

What are we here for,

and why do we put up with so much unhappiness,

if it's all for nothing?

-Snow, Orhan Pamuk