Thursday, August 27, 2009

Your Postsecret and the best Solution for it

for the next few minutes, im gonna be your
Dr. Phil
gypsy fortune-teller
dream interpreter
all rolled into one

okay, cakap je lebih.
sebenarnya nak comment on people's secret je.

The Problem : Being Fucking Fickle

Solution : Bring an Eight Ball around with you wherever you go. Whenever you are faced with an intense decision, or simply cant decide whether you should order a Do
uble Cheeseburger or a Big Mac, pull the Eight Ball out and let it decide for u. And hey! If the result fucks up your life, you can always blame it on the ball. (kan best, boleh blame everything on something else?)

p/s: kalau cheapskate sangat, beli je dadu 60sen dekat Kedai Runcit Siva. :)

The Problem : Being too Self-Involved

Solution : Purchase a bluetooth set and hook it up to your ears. Ta-dah. You can now talk all you want without the pressure of people thinking that you are nuts. If you have an allergy to things hanging on your ear, try explaining to people that there's a ghost following you around, asking you to help em settle some issues before they can leave the world peacefully. (this might result in you being cartered to the nearest mental hospital though, so make sure you are really convincing when telling the lie)

p/s : if you cant afford a bluetooth set, a handsfree will do just fine. :)

The Problem : Being too Hopeful

Solution : Write a few love notes by yourself. Keep the book away. Bang your head to the nearest wall or get a car to run you over, in the hopes that you will get amnesia and forget the fact that you wrote the note yourself. Of course, the risk is high as you might also forget the guy in question as well as your own name.

p/s : a more painless way is to pay the guy beforehand and ask him to doodle something sweet in the margins. Oh. Though if you look like a garbage collector, im pretty sure the payment would have to be a lot higher.

The Problem : Mahu tapi Malu

Solution : If that's the only reason you're kissing the other person, i would suggest taking first hand spliffs by yourself just so you dont have to go through all that trouble to kiss someone you dont even feel like genuinely kissing. (they say being a hypocrite aint no good eyy? So dont be one.)

The Problem : Being too Paranoid for your own good

Solution : Wear a mask. Or a wig. Or walk around with your face painted like a clown. You will be then be able to roam free and not be scared of being recognized. On the other hand, if you'd like to reverse psycho yourself, pay a guy to follow you around and with a videocam. That way, you'll KNOW that someone is watching you, rather than simply dreading that it might happen. Capisce?

okay. that's enough for Round One, i believe. Til the next sleepless night. ;)


cHeRyNa PiReS said...

it's funny when u wrote: wear a mask - because health ministry is suggesting that too!, whoever got paranoid disease will have more reasons to wear mask without people indicating that they are crazy...ehehehe...

FarA said...

round two lagi tashaaaaaaaa. i tunggu ni!

Merissa K. said...

Cheryna :
Yeahh i guess masks are no longer the tukang potong rumput punya uniform nowadays eh?

Fara :
hahahah. coming right up boss!

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